Panic Attack Aftercare

Let’s talk about trauma aftercare. I have CPTSD. Today I woke up from a bad nightmare in an active panic attack. Nightmares are traumatic. They feel just like the real trauma that happened. This means that after I come out of the panic attack (treated with medication, self-talk, affirmations, grounding techniques, and active comfort), I need to take care of myself in ways I wouldn’t otherwise. I will need to actively reassure myself that I no longer have that trauma in my life. I will need extra reassurance from partners, and I might have to cancel activities to rest. I had to learn how to do these things. Our society teaches us that we should “suck it up” and move on, but that’s not actually how brains work. We have to reteach our brains that we are no longer in physical, emotional, sexual, mental, or psychological danger. That’s hard. That’s complicated. That’s not being a good capitalist. So we stockpile trauma, which isn’t good for anyone. So today I heal, at least the trauma from my nightmare. It’s probably going to involve a whopper (with cheese, no pickles, onion or ketchup), and a lot of reassuring myself that I have every right to nurture myself through food. It will require rest, and puppy snuggles, but in the end I will be more whole, I won’t have that trauma to pass on to others, and healing myself also heals the collective. Healing myself helps heal you, and vice versa. So we will heal together, we will commune together, and we will find joy together. Together we are stronger than trauma. Together, nothing can stop us.

The thing about witchy people like me who have gone through all levels of hell, is that we will look after and protect our own with a voracity that you have never seen before. Like the cute little kitty, we are sweet and loving and oh so cute, until you mess with one of our kittens. Then you see claws and teeth that will rip anything to shreds that would harm those we love. Kindness doesn’t mean harmless. Kindness means that we will defend against injustice with every ounce of our beings.

It’s okay to be different! Humans are made that way! You don’t have to even be with people LIKE you to belong. Our human packs work best when we have a variety of people with different skills, interests and talents. We often don’t FEEL like we belong, even when surrounded by love. Sometimes we just need to rethink and reframe that. Sometimes we just need to find new people, if things like our values don’t line up. If you are in that spot now, yow will eventually find your people when you start making moves. Till then, we are your people. You belong here.

If today is a dark day for you, it’s okay. I will sit with you through your darkness. Sadness, grief, anger, fear, and other unpleasant emotions are just as important as those we associate with being “positive.” “Good vibes only” is toxic, and denies the realities of human existence. I will honor your pain. Your grief is valid. You don’t have to smile if you don’t want to. Just know that you aren’t alone. We can hold hands until your light returns. 💖

Your weirdness is safe with me! I’ve known since I was very young that I was different, to the point that ”fitting in” was just not possible. Because of that I guess I just never tried. I have become weirder (and much happier) with age. There is nothing wrong with being different! So let’s just all be our weird selves. This world is so much better that way!