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No More Excuses: How to Reclaim Your Power and Find Healing

The Courage to Leave: Overcoming the Stigma and Finding Your Freedom

By Mitchella O ErayomaPublished 12 months ago 4 min read
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Leaving an abusive marriage takes tremendous courage and strength. It is a decision that no one should take lightly, but it is important to remember that it is never too late to take control of your life and break free from a situation that is causing you emotional, mental, and physical harm. Once you have made the decision to leave, it is important to focus on your own healing and recovery.

Realizing That Your Abuser is Not Willing to Change

It is important to acknowledge that your abuser will not change as a crucial step towards healing. Hoping against hope that they will change is futile if they are unwilling to do so. They may make empty promises of change, but do not be fooled, as this is often just a manipulation tactic to keep you under their control. You need to take charge of your life and establish healthy boundaries to protect yourself and break free from the toxic cycle of abuse. By distancing yourself from your abuser, you open up the possibility of finally healing and moving forward toward a brighter future. Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness and nothing less.

Knowing That It is Okay to Leave

Leaving an abusive marriage is not only courageous but also the right thing to do for the sake of your well-being and your children's safety. It takes immense strength to break free from the chains of abuse and stand up for yourself. You deserve to be respected and treated with dignity, and your abuser's behaviour is not your responsibility. Society's pressures and stigmas may make it difficult for you to leave, but do not let anyone tell you that you are weak for doing so. You have the right to protect yourself and your children from harm, which is the most important thing. Surround yourself with a support system that understands and respects your decision to leave, and together, you can overcome any obstacle. Remember, you are not alone, and help is available to start a new, healthy life.

Dealing with the Stigma of Leaving Your Abusive Marriage as a Christian

If you are a Christian, you may face additional pressures and stigma when leaving an abusive marriage. Some people may try to manipulate you with religion, telling you to stay in an abusive marriage and pray about it. It is important to understand that God does not condone abuse, and you have the right to protect yourself and your children from harm. You are not a failure as a Christian for leaving an abusive marriage.

Feeling Released from Bondage

Once you leave your abusive marriage, you may feel a sense of relief and release from bondage. You are no longer living in fear, walking on eggshells, or constantly trying to please your abuser. You are free to be yourself and make your own choices. This can be a powerful and empowering feeling, and it is important to embrace it and use it as motivation to move forward.

Feeling Happy Again

After being sad and depressed for such a long time in an abusive marriage, it is natural to feel happy again once you leave. You may feel a sense of joy and lightness that you have not felt in years. It is important to savour these feelings and allow yourself to experience happiness without guilt or shame.

Doing the Things You Love Again

Abusive relationships often involve isolation and control, making it difficult to pursue your interests and passions. After leaving an abusive marriage, you may find that you are able to do the things you love again. This can be a powerful part of your healing process as you rediscover the things that make you happy and fulfilled.

Talking About What You Went Through

It is important to talk about what you went through at the hands of your abuser. This can be a difficult and painful process, but it is also essential to your healing journey. Talking to friends, family, or a therapist can help you process your emotions and come to terms with what happened. It can also help you realize that you are not alone and there is no shame in seeking help and support.

The Importance of Seeking Professional Help

It is important to seek professional help when recovering from an abusive marriage. A therapist or counsellor can help you work through your emotions and provide you with coping strategies to deal with the aftermath of abuse. They can also help you to identify patterns of behaviour that may have led you into an abusive relationship and assist you in developing healthy relationship skills. Professional help can provide a safe space where you can explore your thoughts and feelings without judgement or shame. By seeking help from a trained professional, you can better understand yourself and your experiences, and ultimately find healing and hope for the future.

traumatherapysupportstigmaselfcarerecoverypersonality disorderfamilydepressioncopingadvice
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About the Creator

Mitchella O Erayoma

Writing helps me better understand myself and my experiences.

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Comments (2)

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  • HandsomelouiiThePoet (Lonzo ward)12 months ago

    Great Article and Thanks for sharing❤️📝💯😉

  • L.C. Schäfer12 months ago

    The most risky time for a woman in an abusive relationship is right after she leaves. She must have a plan to protect her during that vulnerable time.

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