Choice and Emotion

I think it is fair to say that most people believe they have only some to very little control over their emotional states. Things happen in our lives, most of which are out of our direct control, and those things cause us to feel certain emotions. A friend dies and we feel sad, we win a contest and we feel happy, we are stuck in an all day meeting and we feel bored, etc. I also think it is fair to say that most people believe we do have some control over our emotions, or at least the depth of them, or at the very least, how much we let them effect us in our daily lives. The question of how much or how little control we have over our emotional states is difficult and probably unanswerable and likely varies greatly between individuals, societies, cultures, sexes, and many other factors. And, while it is an excellent question, it is not the question I intend to explore in this piece. Instead I will assume that we do have some control over our emotional states and ask a slightly different question. Essentially I want to know if we have more or less control over emotional states we view primarily as "bad" or "negative" compared to those we view as "good" or "positive?"

Choosing to feel positive emotions vs. choosing to feel negative emotions

It may be possible that we have more control over emotions that we view as 'negative' or 'bad' or 'evil' then we do over those that we view as 'positive' or 'good.' In this instance by control I mean choice. In other words that we can or even must actively, conciously choose to feel a negative emotion, but positive emotions just happen to us and are 'imposed' upon us, and no matter how much we might like to choose to feel them, often times it is just not possible. In contrast we can choose to feel a negative emotion at just about any time over just about anything. To take just one example, if that is correct than it would imply that it is much easier to choose to be angry then it is to choose to be happy. In fact, one could argue, though it is a bit of a stretch, that anger is 100% self selected emotional state. This idea does not seem all tha likely, as, after all, things happen all the time that make us angry. And, when they do, we just get angry, we feel angry, we react with anger, there is no choice. If anger were a choice we should be able to choose to get angry at any time, including right this very moment with no specific triggering event. And we should be able to recreate anger as an emotional state from memory relatively easily. To help illustrate this I am going to ask you to take a step back and reflect for a moment. Think about a time that you remember when you were angry about something. Pick a specific instance in your recent life when you were genuinely angry. Really think about it. Before you read on form an image of that memory in your mind, try to recreate the feeling you had then in your mind now. It is difficult no doubt, but with focus it can be done. Once you have it, hold it in your mind then proceed.

Where the heck are you going with this?

Are you angry right now? You should be, if you followed my instructions, you should be exactly as angry as you were at the time of the incident you remembered which originally angered you. I am going to take a wild stab here and say you are not actually angry right now, or, at least not nearly as angry as you were then. The point of this little exercise is to demonstrate how difficult it is to recreate specific emotional states from memories of them. It truly seems impossible and this fact would argue heavily in the direction of emotional states being primarily caused by events and not by choice. But why is it impossible? Let's take the example of happiness to try and illustrate. Try the same exercise you did above for anger for the last time you remember something making you very happy. Take your time and really focus on it. Are you happy right now? As happy as you were then? Can you even compare the two happiness levels? How can you know if you are or are not as happy now as you were then without being able to specifically recall how happy you were then so that you might have something to compare against? And to recall how happy you were then requires that you actually feel how happy you were then, but feel it now. And if you are successful at feeling now, how happy you were then, you should be exactly as happy now as you were then. But are you? Can you actually do this? I know I sure can't.

It seems that our memories of emotions are never quite as "vivid" as the actual experience of them. Moreover, to actually (re)experience an emotion as vividly as when it occurred requires that we actually feel exactly as we did at that time, otherwise we have no point of comparison. So, what does all that have to do with the topic at hand? At this point, I am not exactly sure. If you have any idea please let me know because I am stuck. But, let's try one more thing that might get us unstuck. Or, might not. In fact, probably won't, but let's try it anyway. Ask yourself if it was "easier" or "harder" to recall the emotion of anger than that of happiness. Which emotional state did you come closer to recreating in the present? your previous anger or your previous happiness? Does the answer to that question tell us anything or only lead to more questions? That last question is one I will not answer because, my frustration levels at getting nowhere are approaching anger and I do not want to experience that. lol!