Broken Promises: The Danger of Narcissists Future Faking Their Victims

Being in a relationship with a narcissist can be a rollercoaster of emotions, with highs and lows that can leave you feeling confused and hurt. One common tactic that narcissists use is future faking, where they make false promises of change and a better future together, only to continue their abusive behaviour. In this article, we will explore what future faking is, how to recognize it, and what steps victims can take to walk away from it.

What is Future Faking?

Future faking is a manipulation tactic that narcissists use to gain control over their victims. They make promises of a better future together, including things like marriage, starting a family, or moving in together, all to create a sense of hope and excitement in their partner. These promises are usually made when the narcissist senses that their victim is losing interest or becoming disillusioned with the relationship. The false hope provided by future faking can keep the victim hooked and invested in the relationship, even when the narcissist's behaviour is abusive or hurtful.

How to Recognize Future Faking

It can be challenging to recognize future faking, as narcissists can be skilled at hiding their true intentions. Here are some signs to look out for:

Promises of a perfect future: Narcissists often make unrealistic promises of a perfect future, with little or no effort required on their part. They may talk about getting married or starting a family, even if they have shown no commitment to the relationship.

Focusing on the future: Narcissists may talk a lot about the future but show little interest in the present. They may avoid discussing current issues or problems in the relationship, instead focusing on their grand plans for the future.

Lack of action: Despite their promises of change, narcissists often fail to take any meaningful action to improve the relationship. They may make excuses or deflect blame when confronted with their behaviour, leaving their partner feeling confused and helpless.

Inconsistent behaviour: Narcissists are known for their inconsistent behaviour, and future faking is no exception. They may make grand promises one day and then revert to their old behaviour the next, leaving their partner feeling frustrated and unsure of what to believe.

How to Walk Away

Breaking away from a narcissist can be a difficult and painful process, but it is essential for your mental and emotional well-being. Here are some steps you can take to walk away:

Acknowledge the truth: It can be hard to accept that the person you love is not who they seem to be. However, acknowledging the truth about the narcissist's behaviour is the first step toward healing.

Set boundaries: Once you have recognized the narcissist's behaviour, it is essential to set clear boundaries. This may mean ending the relationship or simply limiting contact with the narcissist.

Seek support: Breaking away from a narcissist can be lonely and isolating. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist who can offer guidance and validation.

Focus on self-care: After leaving a toxic relationship, it is crucial to focus on self-care. This may mean taking time for yourself, engaging in activities that bring you joy, and prioritizing your mental and emotional health.

In conclusion, future faking is a common tactic used by narcissists to control their victims and keep them hooked on the relationship. Victims of future faking may be left feeling confused and hurt as the narcissist's promises of change turn out to be false. However, by recognizing the signs of future faking and taking steps to walk away, victims can break free from the cycle of abuse and begin to heal.