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What a landlord!

this is my house and my rules too!

By M.J. HUMPHREYPublished 6 months ago 4 min read
What a landlord!
Photo by Tierra Mallorca on Unsplash

1. Landlord: Good morning! How are you today?

Tenant: Oh, you won't believe the morning I've had. The toilet decided to go on strike and flood the entire bathroom!

Landlord: (laughs) Well, I guess even toilets need their occasional break. But don't worry, I'll send a plumber over right away to fix the situation. I hope you managed to dodge the water ballet this morning.

Tenant: (sarcastically) Oh, it was quite the performance. I should have brought my snorkeling gear to the bathroom. It's definitely not how I envisioned starting my day.

Landlord: (chuckles) I'm sorry for the inconvenience. I promise you won't have to swim to the kitchen for breakfast. But hey, at least you can tell your friends you had an unexpected water park adventure at home!

Tenant: Yeah, I can already see the headlines: "Tenant Turns Bathroom into Aquatic Playground!" Maybe I should charge admission fees and make some money out of this situation.

Landlord: (laughs) That's a creative idea! But let's focus on getting everything fixed first. We'll have the bathroom back to its regular, dry self soon. And who knows, maybe you have a hidden talent as a plumber after all this.

Tenant: (laughs) Well, I might have discovered a new career path, but I think I'll leave the plumbing to the professionals. I'll stick to paying rent and enjoying a working bathroom instead.

Landlord: Wise decision! I'm glad we have that sorted. In the meantime, please accept my apologies for the inconvenience, and I'll make sure the plumber arrives ASAP.

Tenant: No worries, I know these things happen. Thanks for being on top of it, and let's hope the bathroom doesn't decide to stage a repeat performance anytime soon.

Landlord: Cross your fingers! And remember, if it does, I'm just a call away. Until then, keep your water wings ready, just in case!

Tenant: (laughs) Will do! Thanks again, and I'll let you know if any synchronized swimming competitions break out in the bathtub.

Landlord: I'll be eagerly waiting for that news! Take care, and I hope the rest of your day goes swimmingly well, minus the floods, of course.

Tenant: Thanks! Have a great day too, and remember to keep those rain boots handy in case your office starts raining too.

Landlord: (laughs) I'll keep that in mind. Take care!

2. Landlord: Good afternoon! How's everything going in the magical land of the rented kingdom?

Tenant: Ah, the kingdom is in chaos, dear landlord! The refrigerator has become a portal to the Arctic, freezing everything in its path. I tried to get some ice cream, but I ended up with an icy rock instead!

Landlord: (laughs) Well, that's one way to keep your ice cream safe for eternity! But fear not, my tenant, for I shall summon the repair wizards to tame the wild refrigerator and restore it to its normal temperature. In the meantime, be careful not to turn your milk into a milkshake!

Tenant: I appreciate your speedy magical intervention, oh mighty landlord! I shall be cautious and keep my milk away from any potential milkshake transformations. Should I start a new trend and sell frozen groceries? I could call it "Glacial Goods"!

Landlord: (laughs) That's an ingenious idea! You'll have penguins lining up at your doorstep for frozen fish popsicles. Who needs a regular grocery store when they can have an arctic wonderland delivered straight to their door?

Tenant: Exactly! I'll become the Ice Cream Queen of the neighborhood, ruling over a frozen empire. But for now, I'll settle for a functioning refrigerator so I can have a decent meal without needing a hammer and chisel.

Landlord: (chuckles) Your reign as the Ice Cream Queen sounds promising, but let's prioritize the restoration of your refrigerator before we turn your apartment into an ice castle. I'll send the repair wizards as soon as possible.

Tenant: Thank you, oh gracious landlord! I shall eagerly await the arrival of the repair wizards, ready to witness their magical skills. Perhaps they can teach me a trick or two to turn frozen food disasters into icy masterpieces.

Landlord: (laughs) I'll be sure to ask them to share their secrets with you. Who knows, you might become the next apprentice of the mystical repair arts. Until then, hang in there, and may your meals be warm and your ice cream scoopable!

Tenant: I shall hold on to that h ope, dear landlord. Warm meals and scoopable ice cream shall be my mantra! Thank you for your magical support, and may you never encounter a frozen dragon in your own home.

Landlord: (laughs heartily) I shall take that wish to heart. Stay warm, my tenant, and remember, if any dragons dare to freeze my abode, I shall summon the fiercest fire-breathing plumbers in the land!

Tenant: (laughs) Your kingdom is indeed well-guarded, oh mighty landlord! I shall rest easy, knowing that the frosty dragons shall be no match for your plumbing warriors. Until then, stay awesome and keep the laughter flowing!

Landlord: Likewise, my tenant! Stay amazing and keep those humorous tales coming. A good laugh can warm even the iciest of situations. Take care and farewell for now!

WitStandupSketchesSatiricalSatireSarcasmRoastParodyLaughterJokesIronyImprovHilariousGeneralFunnyFamilyCONTENT WARNINGComicReliefComedyWritingComedySpecialsComedyClubComedicTimingComedians

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