Top Stories
Stories in Humor that you'll love, handpicked by our team.
A Roommate Apologizes.... Top Story - May 2026.
Note: More cleaning up has revealed more documents I thought were lost for good. I found the following apology - spelling errors and all - on an old computer. It comes from a former roommate who's name has been removed from the document and my thoughts. And if any of you think it is unfair to post this, please be advised that he was a spoiled brat, pain in the neck, the reason why my laptop got stolen, and one of the people who abandoned me when the hydro bill came in and the power was cut.
By Kendall Defoe 6 months ago in Humor
I Can Explain. Honorable Mention in Sorry About That Challenge. Top Story - May 2026.
I've sent a letter, singing telegram, text, email, and even tried calling your phone as a last resort (ps: your mailbox is full), so I'm trying one last thing through this letter to the editor. Letter to the Editor.
By Judey Kalchik 6 months ago in Humor
A Florida Man’s Apology. Runner-Up in Sorry About That Challenge. Top Story - May 2026.
Dearest brother Matthew and ever-so-wise, breathtakingly beautiful and compassionate sister-in-law Nina, I hope that the two of you and sweet Peaches have begun to heal from the trauma I caused. Even though you wouldn’t accept my phone calls from jail, I must apologize, or I’ll never forgive myself.
By Bride of Sound6 months ago in Humor
You Received a Voicemail from Paul (work) . Runner-Up in Sorry About That Challenge. Top Story - April 2026.
voicemail transcript from Paul (work) 04/23/2026, 8:23 PM, Duration: 5:12 Hi Tamara, this is Paul Connard calling. It's currently 8:30 PM on Thursday, April 23rd. My number is… Well, you can probably see it. I wanted to call to apologize for what happened today with the microwave. I don’t know if I mentioned it, but my old job was fully remote. Not that that’s an excuse, but being in office, especially with someone young like yourself... Well, I guess it has all been a new experience for me. Anyway, I know that people are already referring to it as the kitchen incident in the group chat, which is why I wanted to call you directly. I don’t want this to become a thing, and the group chat moves so fast. To clarify, that fire emoji was a mistake. I tried to remove it when I realized what I’d done, but then it turned into a thumbs-up. Maybe just stop sending those memes? That dog one is cute, but it’s not funny. Everything was fine. What’s that, honey? No, I’m on the phone with someone from work! Yes, the fried shrimp for dinner sounds fine, thanks. Sorry, my wife is preparing dinner... Not that I expect her to do that! Um, I guess I should also address what happened earlier this week. It’s obviously not your responsibility to clean the dishes, Tamara. That was… Well, I’d seen you do yours, so I guess I assumed, and well, you know what happens when you assume… I mean, never mind. You just cleaned them really well, and I’m hopeless with that stuff. I can’t hear you very well! Let me finish up this call, and I’ll come help with dinner... Yes, I will! I’ll be there in a moment, Dianne! Where was I? Right, circling back to the point of this call. The incident today. I shouldn’t have assumed you were ignoring me in the kitchen. I was right in front of you, so it seemed odd you weren’t answering me… Grabbing your earbud was a last resort. While I’m on the topic, I did hear some of what was playing when I held it to my ear. Not that it’s any of my business, but that was some really inappropriate language being used in your book. Men are being held to a certain standard in the office, but not in fantasy land, I guess. Of course, what was most shocking was Kavita yelling at me. I was helping you, really, because the volume was far too loud, especially if someone can potentially overhear those stories… Well, as you saw, I was really startled by Kavita. Then I thought she was going to grab me! I probably would’ve been seen as in the wrong. Turns out she was reaching for that enormous water bottle of hers on the counter… But I swear, I wasn’t acting maliciously when I started the microwave! Kavita was yelling, I wanted to move out of arm's reach, and we only have so much time for lunch… I was trying to multitask! I dropped your earbud in my food because technology these days is so tiny! I didn’t even notice it wasn’t in my hand anymore. At first, when the microwave started making that noise, I thought, wow, what did Dianne put in my food? Ha! No, honey, not talking about you! Yes, I’ll come help soon... Who knew something could spark and melt at the same time? Too bad that water bottle was empty. I knew there wasn’t much we could do, though, and Alex was already calling 911. I’m glad I was able to direct you all to safety. Nobody seemed to even know what a muster point was! When we’re back in office, I’ll print some clear directions and tape them by the door, plus a new sign for the microwave. We want to prevent fires as well as funny smells in the future.
By Polite Adjacent6 months ago in Humor
Sorry to all the books I haven’t f___ed. Top Story - April 2026.
I’m sorry for labeling so many books “Did Not F___”. I know Vocal is more for writing and my post is just a rant about reading and f___ing books rather than writing them, but we’re all book lovers here so I hope it fits!
By Sam Spinelli6 months ago in Humor
I’m Sorry for Being a Diaper with Wings. Top Story - April 2026.
I am a diaper with wings who does not need to be an adult. I am sorry that I led you to ponder my wording. It is a grievance of mine that I do not know how to secure them the correct way; the sticky side does not stick where I would like and, instead, it sticks onto itself.
By Caitlin Charlton6 months ago in Humor
Apologies for the Killing and Persecution and Whatnot. Top Story - April 2026.
Dear Science, Hello old friend. Speaking of old, how old are you now, like 500 years or something? I know that feels old, but trust me, it's nothing, wait until you hit 10,000 or even 50,000 years like me. That's when the old bones start creaking for sure. How have you been? I know it has been a while since we last talked, but I wanted to write you now to apologize for several incidents in the past that I may have been at least partly, if not totally responsible for. Unfortunately at least one of these incidents resulted in the death of a fairly solid fellow by the name of Hypatia of Alexandria. You may not remember since it was a bit before your time, but he was was killed by a Christian mob way back in 415. I took the blame for it even though it may have been politics that was more responsible than myself. Also, he wasn't technically a scientist but rather a philosopher and mathematician so probably I don't need to apologize to you, but I am doing it in any case because I no longer have contact info for either math or philosophy. I had your address in my old Iphone address book for some reason and figured you were close enough and could accept my apology on their behalf. Please pass the message along the next time you speak to either of them. You are still friends with them right? As I recall you were always really close with math though you and philosophy had quite a number of altercations over the years though nothing like all the crazy fights we've had, am I right?
By Everyday Junglist6 months ago in Humor
Sorry, I made you the scapegoat. Top Story - April 2026.
I should have told you this before, considering we have been lifelong friends. Not besties but close enough. It's time you knew that I am the reason you got in trouble with our teacher, Mrs. Thomas, and were punished in fourth grade, and I am sorry.
By Cheryl E Preston6 months ago in Humor
Think Before You Speak. Top Story - April 2026.
Joey groaned as he all but slammed his forehead on the table, ignoring the milkshake that had just been placed before him. “Dude...what is up with you?” Leo asked. “You have been...whatever this is, all day. I thought a milkshake would cheer you, but you won’t even look at it! And I even paid for it!”
By Rebecca Patton6 months ago in Humor
I Am SO Sorry For Scratching Your Bumper!. Runner-Up in Sorry About That Challenge. Top Story - April 2026.
Hi Angie, I am so sorry to bother you at home! But, uhm... Generated with Artistly.AI by Author I found out that you called in sick today. And you didn't say how long you were expecting to be gone, so I got worried.
By Sasha Desideri6 months ago in Humor
