A Letter to Them Vocal Judges

*Author's note: This entire thing is one big joke. I say all this with the most lighthearted of comments. This is meant to be a funny work of almost-fiction portraying my inner child that gets pouty when I don't get what I want. I mean no offense to anyone. Enjoy, because this is go'n be a wild ride.*

You have GOT to be kidding me.

If you know me, you know me. (Or you know me on Vocal. Most of my opinions would get me kicked off of here if I ever inserted any of them.) It says in my bio that I write FREE-VERSE poetry. FREE-VERSE.

Free-verse poetry is something I just recently learned about, thanks to a recent Top Story. (When I say "recent," I mean from, like, two weeks ago. My idea of "recent" is very... peculiar.) It's poetry. It's writing. You don't have to rhyme, you don't have to follow a rhyme scheme-- no weird ABBABC-type thing. Just poetry. Just feelings. Just whatever comes to mind.

Free-verse poetry has really taken away my fear of writing poetry. I am terrible at finding rhyming words that make sense and correspond with the story that I'm trying to tell. I like repetition as a poetic thing, and I like alliteration as a poetic thing, but I cannot follow or create a rhyme scheme. Ever since I heard about rhyme schemes when I was in third grade, I have stayed away from them however I can. They confuse me far too much. I just don't understand them.

Now, I think the Vocal moderators who have been looking at my recent memorials & sad poetry pieces have noticed that I do not rhyme. I cannot rhyme. I cannot follow a rhyme scheme. It confuses my ears, my brain, and my mind. I am amazed at other people who can follow a rhyme scheme because of my complete lack of understanding of all the ABBABAX (where did the X come from? Yeah. That's what a rhyme scheme looks like to me.). The Vocal moderators looked at my poems, and when we cry, MATTER, balloon (my personal favorite), and all the others, and they thought, "How can we sabotage this young writer in every way possible? How can we just absolutely destroy her idea of writing poetry? How can we rid her of her privileges to make free-verse poetry and make her feel very horrible?"

Then they cooked up a horrible scheme.

"Oh, I know! Let's make a Challenge where the poetry has to rhyme!" And their evil laughs echoed around their secret underground hideout where they plan out everything that they're doing, most of which is ways to torture me and my plans for writing by not choosing my stories to be Top Stories or winners for Challenges.

I told ya this was a pity party. A pity-me-party scheduled by a high-schooler who finished her homework an hour ago and saw this new Challenge and just exploded when she saw the rules.

You get what you get and you don't throw a fit. Unless you're me. I am an exception.

I just find this whole thing hilarious. It's so ironic. I just started free-verse about a week ago, and the Vocal team decides, "Hey, buddy, how about we just make a Challenge with poetry that must RHYME?!"

It's no coincidence. I just know they're plotting against me. I can feel it in my bones. Why else would they suddenly create this Challenge that requires rhyming for every entry? Just out of pure curiosity? Just because they want to see the results?

Noooooo. I don't think so. The Vocal judges are just plotting my literary demise at this very moment. I should've seen this coming!

Oh well! You just try to get me to write & fail at rhyming poetry, Vocal team! I'll continue on with my free-verse! I see through the lies of the Jedi! (If you know, you know.)

I'm never writing rhyming poetry for a Challenge. Never. See if you can top that, Vocal. Hah!

...Warm regards,

Chloe.