Humor logo

I Don't Want Lunch, I Want Dinner!


By Carol TownendPublished 3 months ago 3 min read
I Don't Want Lunch, I Want Dinner!
Photo by Stephanie McCabe on Unsplash

I was brought up with Breakfast, Dinner, Tea, and Supper.

Today, I have a desperate dilemma!

My children were brought up the same way, but now they are older; lunch has become tea, and dinner has become a mid-morning meal!


I thought 'dinner' was served between 12 and 1 in the afternoon!

And hey!

Where does supper fit in?

Supper when I was a young girl in the '70s, '80s, and '90s was biscuits or toast, and milk or hot choc before bed!

Now, here I am at 47 years old, all confuddled (aka, confused)!

Me and my daughter had the following conversation a few weeks ago.

"Daughter, it's dinner time."

"Mum! It's lunch-time, not dinner-time."

"No, Dinner is served mid-morning!"

Well, do pardon my manners, but 12, noon, was always referred to as the 'afternoon' by my parents!

Or maybe, I was taught wrong!

No wonder, I felt confuddled when the afternoon news announcer referred to 'lunchtime news!'

They referred to it this way when I was a child too!

I proceeded to ask about supper, and my daughter replied,

"It's teatime!"

Teatime for me was at 4 in the afternoon after school, and supper followed at bedtime!

So, please tell me;

Does Supper still exist?

We all seem to be bringing our children up to learn one thing, while the world is teaching them something else!

Playtime at school is now break time. We will be calling it "Off our heads time!" next.

So what's hometime? Striketime?

Then, we invented 'timeout' as a way to get our children to calm down and think when they did something wrong, then uh-oh!

Someone made a chocolate bar out of it!

NOTE: Never give your kids time out, because as I learned the hard way; Certain authorities don't agree with it.

So, it's ok; we'll just give our kids a chocolate treat, next time they misbehave!

Now I am

100% confuddled!

Can this get worse!?


I refer to a bath as a 'bath.'

As the argument goes in our house,

"It's a barf, not a bath!"

Please, I don't want to barf in my bath!

And then there is the toilet!

My nickname for a toilet is bog!

Blame my parents, they taught me!

It's also a loo, lavatory, piss pot, shit pot, piss hole, and Lemon fizz bottle, amongst others by people who live in my house, and by people who visit us!

It seems that words are invented as people change.

I can't keep up!

A message to this bonkers world!

Can we please stop changing every word we use?

I am quite happy with my stinking bog, and having dinner at lunchtime and supper at teatime.

I was brought up to eat 'dinner' not lunch!

Also, whilst I do keep my 'bog' fresh; if it doesn't stink, then you haven't enjoyed your lunch; hench 'the bog.'

A lavatory requires a sink to be fitted, but sorry I'm not pissing in the sink, and it doesn't stink enough when I shit in it anyway!

Who needs fucking word hygiene, when we don't even know what hygiene is?

Have you not seen the toilet paper, leaky sinks, and smelly loos when you're out and about?

Hardly clean enough to be a fucking lavatory, but stinky enough to be a bog!

I'll stick with my words, (my shit's sticky enough because I pigged out this afternoon!) and you can stick with yours!

Now, please excuse me while I run to the bog for a Lemon Fizz, and yes; you are right!

I am going to stink you all out because I just had dinner!

SarcasmLaughterJokesIronyHilariousFunnyCONTENT WARNINGComedyWriting

About the Creator

Carol Townend

Fiction, Horror, Sex, Love, Mental Health, Children's fiction and more. You'll find many stories in my profile. I don't believe in sticking with one Niche! I write, but I also read a lot too.

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments (5)

Sign in to comment
  • Mariann Carroll2 months ago

    Nice invented word. Can I tell you a secret, I eat Chips in the morning. I can do that cause I am adult and no one can stop me any more 😊😘

  • Daphsam2 months ago

    Hahahahaha, I love dinner more than lunch!

  • Kelly Sibley 3 months ago

    I totally agree! - Supper time - a bickie before bed!

  • Naveed 3 months ago


  • Rene Peters3 months ago

    Thank you for the chuckle!

Find us on social media

Miscellaneous links

  • Explore
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use
  • Support

© 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.