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Brrr! Brrr!

"Patricia! Answer The Damn Phone!"

By Carol TownendPublished 21 days ago β€’ 3 min read
2
Brrr! Brrr!
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Brrr! Brrr! Brrr! Brrr! Brrr!

The telephone is ringing.

"Patricia; answer the phone, before I electrocute myself trying to cut it off!"

Patricia nods to the beat of the music in her headphones and ignores her husband.

Brrr! Brrr! Brrr! Brrrr!

The phone continues ringing.

James covered his ears and sighed.

"If that damn telephone rings once more. I swear I'll cut its voice out!" he told himself, while his wife continued to ignore him.

Brrr! Brrr! Brrrrr! Brrrrr!

James pulled two cushions over his ears. He had already tried tying them shut with elastic bands, but they had snapped.

"PATRICIA!" He shouted.

"I'M NOT DEAF!" Patricia shouts back.

"Answer the Fucking phone!" he told her.

"Look, I've lost my earphones now!" Patricia complained.

"Yeah...Earglue, more like!" James replied sarcastically.

Patricia shrugged. Placing her earphones back in her ears, she continued nodding to the beat of music.

James took an earphone out of her ear, and directly shouted in it,

"THAT'S NOT THE TELEPHONE!"

Patricia replied,

"Why do you need me to answer the phone, when you have an automatic gob that makes you talk a lot anyway!?

James threw a big tantrum; out of annoyance, he ripped the telephone out. He didn't say a word all night after that.

"Ah, it's quiet now," Patricia told him, but he just sat there with lips pursed and ignored her.

"Did you unplug your gob, when you unplugged the telephone?" Patricia asked him.

James stormed out of the room without replying.

Whilst James was out of the room, Patricia plugged the phone back in. When she had done that, she hid a tape recorder behind the couch.

Ten minutes later, James came back into the room. Patricia put her earphones back in and nodded to the beat.

Brrrr! Brrrr! Brrrr! Brrrr!

The telephone started ringing again.

"For fuck sake, not again!"James complained.

Patricia carried on nodding to the beat of the music.

"Patricia! ANSWER THE DAMN PHONE! James shouted at the top of his voice.

Patricia took her headphones out, and asked, "What Phone?"

"That Phone!" James snapped pointing at the phone on the table.

"It's not ringing!" Patricia replied, sticking her headphones back in.

James sighed and checked the phone.

He knew that it was ringing. He could hear it.

He examined the phone.

He gave it a shake and put the phone near his ears.

There was no sound.

He put the telephone back on the table.

Brrrr! Brrrr! Brrrr!

There was that sound again!

Patricia took her headphones out and started laughing.

"The phone's not ringing. You won't know that because you're talking too much!" she told him.

"That's it. I'm off to the pub!" James replied before leaving.

James came home from the pub extremely drunk that night. When stumbled back into the house; he could still hear the damn phone ringing.

"Patricia! Answer thre damrn phrone!" he slurred at his wife.

"What phone? I have already told you. It's you who talks too much!"

James spent all night, checking the damn phone!

He even took it apart, but it was still ringing.

He decided that the telephone belonged in the trash, so he threw it into the outside bin. five minutes later, he heard it again.

Brrrr! Brrrr! Brrrr!

"Patricia answer the damn phone!" he told his wife, but Patricia was sound asleep.

The next morning, he couldn't remember what he had done.

He couldn't find the phone either.

The bin men had been this morning and cleared away the trash, taking the phone with them.

James found the tape recorder that Patricia had hidden the following night. He pressed the play button.

"Brrr! Brrr! Brrr! Brrr!"

"Patricia! Answer the damn phone!"

He decided that was trash too, so he did what he did best.

Threw it in the damn bin!

SarcasmLaughterHilariousGeneralFunnyComedyWriting
2

About the Creator

Carol Townend

Fiction, Horror, Sex, Love, Mental Health, Children's fiction and more. You'll find many stories in my profile. I don't believe in sticking with one Niche! I write, but I also read a lot too.

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Comments (2)

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  • Naveed21 days ago

    such a wonderful story. I loved it!🀣

  • Babs Iverson21 days ago

    Hilarious!!! 🀣🀣🀣

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