breakups
When it comes to breakups, pain is inevitable, but Humans thinks that suffering is optional.
Romantic Quarantine Lies
Now that the pandemic had wreaked its havoc on the world and had finally abated, restaurants were gasping back to life. Occasionally, people still wore face masks, even if they were ill with the common cold or the flu. This was normal in her culture, but it wasn’t normal here in the United States.
Mimi SonnerPublished 4 years ago in HumansIf I Knew You Were Being Groomed By Your Sister
senior year of high school I asked you out twice, and both times you denied me. we’d been friends for a while, and you were the one I talked to when I was in pain. when my depression drowned me underneath endless waters. and I did the same for you, I told you that I would be there because I meant it.
VikingIndiePublished 4 years ago in HumansFalling for a heroin addict is my biggest mistake
The emptiness in my heart physically hurts. You can see it on my face. You can hear it in my voice. I wish I could go back and tell myself what I know now. I wish I never saw your photo on meet me in 2015. I wish I didn’t somehow know I would love you when I saw that photo. And for two years after you rejected me. I still couldn’t forget you. I would do anything to go back in time and tell myself Tracy please listen to me don’t send him a message. I know you weirdly feel a connection based off seeing his photo. I wouldn’t even lie to myself. I’d tell myself I won’t even lie to you this person is your soulmate. It will never be possible for you to love somebody else like you love them. But once you know that type of love. Once you know that type of connection exists, you’ll start to feel incapable of being able to settle for anything less. I’d make sure that the old me knew, he will never be with you because he will always chose drugs. He will never sleep with you because he would rather sleep with girls he can do drugs with. In 2017 you will reconnect and you will spend close to three years loving him. And as you love him for those close to three years he will be doing heroin the entire time. He will never get clean. He will never fully make you happy. And even when he does make you happy it lasts for a very short amount of time because he remembers how much more he loves heroin than you and he will start calling you mean names and making you want to hurt yourself all because he needs to leave you so he can keep using. You think that he will fight to keep you. You think you’d matter more to him because it turns out you are the only person to fully love him. You are the only person who believes in him and wants him clean. But he just doesn’t care. He rather watch you leave and lose the love of the person who loves him most than be with you and lose the fake love of heroin. You tell him if you start seeing other people you may like somebody else. You think that this would alter his mind. But all he says is “If you fall for someone while we are physically apart then it’s fate, I can’t come between fate.” When in reality he’s just reiterating that it doesn’t matter to him if you leave or stay, he doesn’t value you. The only reason he says you have to be physically apart is because you can’t see each other. And you can’t see each other because he won’t see you while he’s using. Which means he’s not scared of being physically apart from you and you meeting someone new because it’s heroin and female addicts he wants to spend his life with. You are not the most important love in his life and losing you will never be such a huge tragedy to him. You agree to be there for him through his journey with sobriety (the journey never comes). Even before you have done everything you possibly could for him. The amount of money you’ve spent supporting a jobless, homeless, heroin addict has all gone to waste. Because not one single thing was appreciated. Because it was a feeling you gave him. Not a feeling heroin gave him. And he feels entitled to it because all he does is think of himself. Which is why you will never get anything back in return not even a Happy Birthday. Every birthday he doesn’t reach out when you go through lengths for his. Followed by every single holiday. And most of the time he ignores you even when you cry to him and express that you are in the verge of suicide. If you were hanging off a cliff next to a female drug addict and a bag of heroin and he had to chose who to save, he would never chose you, every single time. Even though you’ve spent so much time praising, comforting and loving him. Making and sending him food, getting him a place to stay while he’s homeless and spoiling him with affection. He still tells you after all you’ve done for him that you are still not enough for him. It’s not just drugs you are competing with. He also tells you he needs to sleep with other addicts and do drugs with them too. You only actually are together for 3 months and you both fall madly in love. But when he leaves you for heroin you don’t sleep with anybody for two years because you don’t want anyone but him. You try to convince yourself he’s doing the same. But it will kill you to find out all the girls he’s slept with and it will hurt even more when he tells you he loves you but says he can’t stop sleeping with other female addicts for you. And these girls are the bottom of the barrel, lowest of the low. He doesn’t even care that he surronds himself with people who wouldn’t even care if he died. God does a lot to keep you apart. Things happen during your time together that there should be no turning back from. But your bond is so strong that it’s unbreakable. Even god can’t keep you apart once that bond is formed. You think because he is your soulmate that means you will be together. But sadly Tracy you won’t. He will not choose you. He will not get clean. You will waste three years loving him. And who knows how long it will take for you to move on. The feeling is so strong that you don’t think it’s possible you could ever not love him. And a part of you doesn’t want to let go because there will always be a part of you that wishes for that happily ever after with him. You will only ever love his potential and his core personality. Which he very rarely shows. He will leave you broken, miserable, feeling unloved and that you were never good enough for him. You will be in and out of depressive BPD episodes and there will be multiple times you come close to committing suicide. He will break down your will to live. He will always be selfish and never be there for you. You will call him crying. You will tell him when it’s getting too hard and you feel you’re drowning. But he will never comfort you. He will never care. The only thing he will ever truly care about is drugs and maintaining relationships with women who do drugs. I say this in all honesty run far away from this person. Because after your first phone call in 2017 you’ll immediately feel something you’ve never felt before. And as time goes on all that feeling does is grow stronger and stronger. You’ll spend two years apart but you will end up loving him even more than when you first fell in love with him three years ago. He will never change. And this will kill you inside.
Tracy RosePublished 4 years ago in HumansHow Do You Move Past A Random "Break-Up"?
I recently had an experience that I imagine is all-too-familiar to many of us millenials trying to navigate the dating apps. We matched on Bumble and then Tinder, so I decided (after a glass of wine or 2) to send him a message teasing that I'd go for the dating app trifecta by trying to find him on one of the other popular apps.
Riley PearcePublished 4 years ago in HumansHeartBreak
Having your heart broken is like having your soul taken away from you. You give so much to a point that there is nothing left. What is left after a heart break? Sadness? Depression? Anxiety? I opened myself up to a person after hiding in my shell for so long. And for what? Heartbreak? What I recall from my relationship is that everything seemed good. I thought we were fine. But from their perspective we were not. How so? They claim that I was at fault. That I was hurtful and mean. When all I did was care, (which I showed in many ways) I now realize that this person grew up around violence. Their home wasn’t all peaches and cream, which I can’t blame them for. You can’t blame someone for how they are, when they were raised so poorly. Parents should teach their children what love is, rather than teaching them how to love violence. Nobody is to blame for how they were raised. But you are to blame when you repeat the same mistakes knowing that is not what you want for yourself or your significant other or even your children. It’s heartbreaking. Being committed to someone for 2 years only to realize that they don’t know what love is, is heartbreaking. How can I teach this person, when they believe that they already know? I can clearly see that this person does not know love when they treat themselves so poorly. They do not hold themselves high. I am heartbroken with this person. I want to care for this person but I cannot continue to hold this persons hand and guide them every step of the way. Sometimes you have to let people learn on their own. Especially if they do not want help, there’s only so much you can do before it’s time to let go. My time has come for that. There is so much I have done already, where there is nothing else I can do. I have been pushed down, and neglected. I have been cheated on and lied too. I have been abused physically, emotionally and mentally. I am not perfect, I have made my mistakes as well. We are both to blame, but I am not to blame. I was committed, loyal, honest, and most importantly I loved with everything I had. And now I’m left with nothing. I have no friends, no life outside of my home or job. I associate, but still I am lonely. I have no problem being alone, but being lonely is always painful. I lost everything including myself. Heartbreak is hard but I promise it gets better. This is not the end of the world. My life is not over. We live and we learn. Trial and error. I am here and I am focused. Heartbreak is temporary. Do not let your heartbreak get the best of you. Use this as a push to get on with your life. Better things are always around the corner, just as you let something or someone go, something good appears. Heartbreak.. it’s a life lesson that we all end up dealing with and it’s up to you to learn and grow from it. Have your moment of sadness, and then wipe your tears and continue walking your own path. Don’t let someone else’s path intervene with yours. It’s okay if you want to walk the same path as someone, but don’t let this persons path overrun yours. Heartbreak.. it’s not always a bad thing
Lourdes RiosPublished 4 years ago in HumansDear TFBS
Dear TFBS I started to fall in love with you but I’m happy I never said it to you. I started to get comfortable with the fact that you may be here forever but thankfully I never told you. Lastly I stopped looking at other people because I thought you were the one, but thankfully I didn’t tell you that. I loved how much you cared about me just as much as I cared about you. I loved how I was able to talk to you everyday whether I was happy, irritable or sad. I love how you would find a way to cheer me up. I loved how easy it was to talk to you without feeling judged even though you always told me how crazy I was. Deep down I know I am crazy which is why I would let it slide. I loved how honest you were with me, even when I didn’t want to hear it. I loved looking at you even if we weren’t so close to each other while we were together. I loved the way you looked at me everytime we talked. I loved your smile,quirkinesses,laugh and sarcasm. I loved listening to you talk about things you are so passionate about. I loved when you tell me jokes because you are funny. Yes I would get mad when jokes were on me but you always let me know you were kidding even though it did hurt alittle. You gave me time to get over it and even made it up to me. I loved how we had the same goals and ideas about who and what we wanted to be. I loved how happy I was just simply hearing from you. Lastly I miss how we use to talk over the phone even if it was for just 10 or 20 minutes, it would make my whole day better.
I Miss My Best Friend
I test drove 3 official best friends before I met 'The One.' The first claimed me as her bestie on the first day of 3rd grade, at a new school for both of us. I was euphoric, accompanied by an instant ally. No one could separate me from her. I thought we would grow up together. But the following year we were put into separate classrooms and she quickly claimed someone else without looking back. Our friendship was inconvenient, so it ended.
Sarita LarochePublished 4 years ago in HumansGetting over the narcissist.
When you're right in the midst of their grasp you feel like there's no way out. You swear you can't bear the blame and emotional torture for another day and yet you feel sick to your stomach walking away from this person for good. Even all the failed attempts of leaving before he would come crawling back and hated to lose all control over you, killing you with promises of change.
Try Something New
I started this new thing for myself for the month of October and I am really excited to try it out. I call it “Focus Points.” I put all my main points for the month on one page, whether it be a quote or something I want to focus on. It also includes a book to read and a personal development book for the month because I don’t want to push myself so far when I just started. I want to ease myself into it, so I don’t set myself up for failure. I have also included two worksheets to help me figure out who I am. I think I lost myself somewhere along the way in life and I want to bring myself back.
Ashlee GrantPublished 4 years ago in HumansMoving On
I’m not a saint, not a sinner, but lord forgive me for my sins. I’m only human just like any one else. I made mistakes after mistakes, I also learned from a lot of them, but always fall back into the category of making mistakes. Over the years I put a lot of effort, energy, and love into a relationship. A marriage that ended up not what I expected. In the beginning it was all love we spent a lot of time together. We had our first child together which was a baby girl name Serenity then Taylar. God blessed us with a baby boy after that name Elijah who passed away at four months, but then came our baby girl Halo. Like I said I have made a lot of mistakes so you should know where I’m going with this in the beginning I wasn’t the faithful boyfriend I suppose to been.
The Relationship Seemed Great Up Until... And Then...
In my senior year of high school I dated my first, what my father called a nudnik, who I met as my co-worker at my first restaurant job. In the beginning, he was a gentlemen and he acted like he truly cared for my well being. There had been no previous warning signs (as far as I could blindly tell) and the relationship seemed great. We were only a couple of months into the relationship as things started to unravel that summer.
Andria VetellaPublished 4 years ago in HumansLove's Season
Leaving the taco stand at 12:15 in the morning, my part-time job made me question my sanity since I had to tackle my daytime job at 7:00 in the morning. Walking home always cleared my head and put the craziness of my shift to rest before I climbed into a hot shower that silenced my thoughts and helped me settle into a night of slumber.
Annie BryantPublished 4 years ago in Humans