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Moving On

Moving On

By Mak PlayaPublished 4 years ago 5 min read
1

I’m not a saint, not a sinner, but lord forgive me for my sins. I’m only human just like any one else. I made mistakes after mistakes, I also learned from a lot of them, but always fall back into the category of making mistakes. Over the years I put a lot of effort, energy, and love into a relationship. A marriage that ended up not what I expected. In the beginning it was all love we spent a lot of time together. We had our first child together which was a baby girl name Serenity then Taylar. God blessed us with a baby boy after that name Elijah who passed away at four months, but then came our baby girl Halo. Like I said I have made a lot of mistakes so you should know where I’m going with this in the beginning I wasn’t the faithful boyfriend I suppose to been.

Eventually I got my act together so on December 16,2016 we got married. Talking about loving someone man I loved this woman so much. I just knew we would be together for a life time. Once again problems came they never stop coming I basicallly made her stop loving me, liking me, and the communication wasn’t there. It was like we was just roommates with kids. No sex I mean it got to the point she was barely home. I would be getting ready for work at 3am she would be just coming in not even worrying about the time she just came in. I started to see a lot of changes I noticed she locked her phone after the fact I constantly accused her of cheating.

One day she left her phone unlocked i happen to go through it, and found out she was talking to another dude. Talking about the most hurtful feeling. Let me tell you something this for my brothers worldwide women can take all the cheating we come with but the moment they do it to us we can’t take it! So after all that she just show no remorse toward the situation or situations. She didn’t care at all same thing kept going on.

Let me go back to the point I was wrong majority of the times. I made her not like me my ways, my anger, and sometimes I just think I wasn’t what she wanted in a man. At one point I got angry enough to manger to pick up a gun. I was just playing trying to scare her I wasn’t thinking so dumb of me for real. I didn’t give her the space that was needed or asked for. I tried my best to make up for my ways. I cook, clean, wash clothes, fold clothes, work two jobs, made sure the kids was good always, and did anything she ask me. Same results it kind of got worse she stayed gone more. I couldn’t touch her, she was barely cooking, and talking to me any kind of way. I remember her saying this when we was having an argument. “I wish you would hurry up and find a girlfriend.” I use to be like I know you got a dude on the side I just didn’t want to believe it. Another time I remember her leaving one night. I couldn’t believe her phone pocket dial me! I heard her having a conversation with a dude. We managed to get through that up until May.

Now before I end this I just want to say this. My Ex-Wife was the most beautiful woman my eyes i loved to see. I loved her deeply My love had grew for her over the years. I cherish her in my heart she had my kids. The first woman I had married I just knew she was the one for my life time. That’s how life works you have to move on if someone not happy. Eventually you’re not going to be happy so basically it’s not healthy for one another and that’s what happen. She been trying to tell me quite some time but I wouldn’t listen and now it’s too late.

One day in May we came home laid in bed, talk a little, and watched a movie. While we was watching the movie I couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t put the phone down. I snatched the phone just to see her reaction. She chase me down for the phone. Even if I wanted to go through the phone I didn’t have a chance too. I gave the phone back to her. She cursed me out, and told me how she really felt. Told me to get out! Get your stuff and go! I packed my stuff from our room, moved it to the living room, and went to sleep on the floor. Later that morning around 1am I slept in my car until it was time for me to go to work. After that my first Wife and I was history.

It takes a lot to get over someone you truly love. I’m mentally and emotionally damaged from this. I’m not going to lie I still miss her I don’t want to do nothing sexually anymore. I’m not ready to communicate with her. We do have kids I’m still going to do what’s right for them no matter what. The kids didn’t ask for our problems. So at the end of the day I just think it was time for us to move on.

breakups
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About the Creator

Mak Playa

Born and raised in Atlanta,Ga. I have been writing all my life.

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