BREAK YOU

No relationship is perfect, but understanding which behaviors are major red flags of something unhealthy might help you establish a satisfying relationship, These behaviors can range from not being prioritized by your partner and feeling unlike yourself around them to physical, emotional, psychological, or sexual abuse. And when it comes to violent and unhealthy relationships, it’s crucial to seek aid.

That said, it’s not always just abuse that can form an unhealthy relationship dynamic; there is a range of worrisome patterns to watch out for, some of which might be subtle and at times difficult to notice. It can often be hard to discern when things are getting to a place that demands substantial attention, beyond merely ordinary difficulties you can attempt to fix as a pair. But no matter your situation, there are lots of relationship problems that you shouldn’t tolerate no matter what.

Below, experts describe five Signs you shouldn’t put up with in your partnership:

1. You Experience Emotionally Verbally Or Physical Abuse

Controlling conduct can sometimes transit into an abusive relationship, which can take the shape of emotional or verbal abuse. Your partner may insult you, make fun of you around other people, or gaslight you when you try to convey how they make you feel. All of these acts are inappropriate. If your partner is treating you this way, I recommend working with a therapist or counselor to help you cope with the abuse and safely depart the relationship.

Another form of intimate partner violence is physical abuse, which is undoubtedly a valid ground to leave your relationship. If your partner resorts to violence or damages you in any way, communicate with a trusted loved one or expert to help you safely remove yourself from the situation.

2. Your Partner Pressures You For Sex

Our culture already makes it difficult for survivors to recognize and disclose rape, so it becomes even more difficult to perceive your love partner as a rapist.

That’s why it’s crucial to acknowledge that rape can happen in otherwise non-violent relationships and to remember that consenting to a sexual act once does not entail consenting to that act for all time. If your spouse encourages you to engage in unwanted sexual acts because it is your “duty” or because you “owe” them, the relationship is abusive, unhealthy, and unsafe.

3. Your Partner Alienate You From Others

If your partner tries to regulate who you spend time with, that’s a red flag. Independence is an essential element of any successful relationship, so attempting to isolate yourself from your loved ones and interests is a sign that your partner is trying to exert their authority at the price of your happiness, personal relationships, and self-care.

There are various answers to why people behave this way, and all of them are harmful. Your partner may know that your friends despise the relationship for genuine reasons, and hence want to keep you away from those who will bring out severe problems and worries. Or they may be insecure or jealous of your interactions with other people. But your relationships and lifestyle matter, so any spouse who attempts to take that away is not the one for you.

4. Your Partner Doesn’t Publicly Acknowledge Your Relationship

If you and your partner have freely decided to establish a committed relationship, then it shouldn't be a secret (unless, of course, there are reasons you two have consensually chosen to keep it under wraps) If you’re spending time on this relationship, then you deserve recognition. Does your spouse consider you a placeholder and doesn’t want to appear tied down in case someone else comes along? Are they lying about monogamy to several partners and having to keep it secret? Are they ashamed of the relationship? No matter the cause, you should be with someone who respects you and is proud of you.

5. Your Partner Hurt You And Is Not Regretful

Even in healthy relationships, there are occasions when one person is going to harm the other, be it by accident, on purpose, in the heat of an argument, or with a sarcastic remark. However, a good partner will realize when they hurt you (either they figure it out or you tell them) apologize, and modify their behavior for the better. Anything less shouldn’t be permitted. "The truest and biggest symptom of a toxic relationship is displaying no sorrow for harming your partner, the second biggest sign is showing guilt but not changing the conduct or working to modify the behavior that is damaging.”

Overall, red flags can be either blatant or subtle. And while every relationship involves work and compromise on both sides some problems are so toxic that you simply shouldn’t tolerate them. Recognizing when concerns veer into the toxic side of things can be hard, but understanding what to look out for ahead of time, as well as checking in with people you trust, can be helpful in the long term.