I try and treat my brain to as much rest and recuperation as i possibly can. I have a stressful job as a carer and worries about family. When i am at home distractions usually involve loud music and focus on something, i even managed to finish a high level work qualification as i found it easy and a good way to forget everything else.
What keeps me going through the trials and tribulations of my turbulent life?
I don't want to be 50. I decided that I should stick where I am, all my plans for this year have been postponed or cancelled so why cant my birthday be as well. I had 3 concerts to go to, 2 holidays and I should be on honeymoon from my wedding 2 days ago. All moved to next year, the wedding was the most upsetting to cancel but there was no choice. I planned it partly so I had it in my mind rather then turning 50.
My mental health has been poor for a while, many small things piled on top of each other. I planned this year out so could raise my spirits along with my fiancés. Planned our wedding, honeymoon, 3 concerts and a further trip away. At present the final trip away is all that's left and I am sure it wont go ahead. Add to this I knew one of my best friends was dying. He had all the treatment, the support of his brilliant wife and friends.
Towards the end of last year, when the uk had a general election, I heard a theory I hadn't heard before. There were the usual posters, tv adverts and buzzwords but there were always some that stood out and got talked about the most. They were the posts that were unclear, muddled or simply looked lie they were done in a school project. There were 2 or 3 word slogans that either covered many things as were so vague or nothing as they were confusing.
My mood and mental health is quite bad at present and the news I get is bad, so I take anything I can for a cheer up. After a day as a frontline carer, stinking from the sweat and fed up after hearing a close friend is heading for his last few days on earth. As I struggled through the day and while perusing Facebook and trying to share posts pointing out the problems with covid and its treatment.