Following todays tragic death of British celebrity Caroline Flack I want to update a piece I wrote elsewhere. In my other piece I talked about celebrity suicides where there was no obvious reason behind it, think Kurt Kobain or Chester Bennington. both massively successful people with millions of fans, a lot of money and a seemingly perfect life. Think more recently of Keith Flint of Prodigy, in the middle of a successful tour and again with millions of fans. In each case there was a reason they took their decision, theories for all but only 3 people know why.
Before I explain the details around the question I will begin with the back story, possibly giving mitigation before admitting the actual crime. Many years ago while enduring the end of what was becoming a painful marriage I made a friend through Facebook. Perhaps unusually it was through the chat function in a game, first talking the game and then getting more adult.
My mental health is bad at present, mainly a pile up of too many things at once. I know "join the club" , this is just my version of my present reality. One aspect I want to touch on is a part I don't really understand, dreams. These seem first of all to be worse when I am bad , strangely they also seem to be more vivid and memorable.
This is easily the picture I am most proud of in my collection. The writer in me should probably embellish how I chose the exact moment and spent forever getting the angles right, unfortunately that wouldn't be quite true.
I knew the type of song I wanted to add here but like many people their favourites can change with mood. So I went a little backwards on the rules, I hope that's ok. I thought of the songs that have helped me through bad times, have cheered me up and helped me forget the world for a while. Despite my increasing age nothing beats screaming along to songs with a crowd at a heavy metal or thrash metal concert.
I have had relatively few relationships for my age, indeed one of the earliest produced children so it lasted 18 years. Now I am for the first time ever struggling to survive without my fiancé near me. My mental health is poor at the moment, but this need is all very different. I look forward to my odd days off when I have the house to myself, but soon after the day starts, I want her home again. This from someone who spent a while single and was happy in his own company.