Andrew C McDonald
Bio
Andrew McDonald is a 911 dispatcher of 30 yrs with a B.S. in Math (1985). He served as an Army officer 1985 to 1992, honorably exiting a captain.
https://www.amazon.com/Killing-Keys-Andrew-C-McDonald-ebook/dp/B07VM843XL?ref_=ast_author_dp
Stories (299/0)
Castle Chronicles V
MILITARY: WAR DECLARED!! As our illustrious realm has been repeatedly attacked by the heathen realm calling themselves "Immortals," our magnificent regent has seen fit to declare a state of war. War Chief Alistar was quoted as saying, "As unsinkable ships sink, so too do Immortals die!" Cpt. Strongarm of the royal guard has sent forth a call for volunteers to join in a concerted attack on these our dastardly foes. Lord Dakkarious, royal gardener and artificer of atomic dung bombs, has sent forth a call for extra sheep bladders and wool necessary for the fabrication of bomb casings. Meanwhile, Lord Tolke's kraken, Spike, is said to be creating copious amounts of the main ingredient necessary for the synthesization of dung/fertilizer bombs.
By Andrew C McDonald7 months ago in Humor
Castle Chronicles IV
WEAPONS / RESEARCH: Lord Androlian has reported the disovery of an adhesive that may solve a number of problems inherent in Lord Dakkarious' ongong weapons research. Whilst climbing a tree to avoid the wrath of the warrior princess Vice Nanaja, Lord Androlian was sapped upon the head. While Lady Emcat professes responsibility for the fortuitious blow which knocked our jester from his perch, Androlian maintains he "slipped on a batch of bat guano." Be that as it may, the sap covering Lord Androlian's hands and hair upon his rather abrupt (and painful) departure from the tree was found to have properties similar to gorilla glue. While Lord Androlian sports a new crew cut, the result of having to cut his sticky fingers loose from his hair, Lord Dakkarious is delighting in expolring the uses to which this adhesive may be put. Our hermetic researcher stepped out from his lab long enough to inform this reporter that our new Sapper Super Glue will undoubtedly be perfect for the attachment of our latest dung bombs to their frisbee disc delivery systems. [See Science & Technology below]
By Andrew C McDonald7 months ago in Humor
Castle Chicanery II
MERCANTILE & TRADE: Caravan Leader Fired: Turb N. Guye, long time caravan leader for Lord Androlian - court jester - was terminated yesterday [from his position, not from his life, although the vote was close]. Per reliable accounts it seems Caravanser Guye has on several occasions delivered property and goods to the wrong coordinates, thus causing massive problems with proper distribution of resources and revenue. This firing took place amidst allegations of possible animal abuse as Turb N. Guye was also accused of humping the camels.
By Andrew C McDonald7 months ago in Humor
Castle Chicanery
News of the Realm: CASTLE & GARDEN: "Release the Kraken!" has long been a battle cry certain to thrill the hearts of our military commanders in their march to glorious victory. Today, however, this phrase took on a new meaning. Spike, Lord Tolke's allegedly castle trained Kraken, had an 'accident' in the council chambers. Said occurrence resulted in a distinctly odoriferous problem with the royal elevator. In a side note, it has been declared that the royal elevator shall be henceforth known as the privyvator. It is surmised by royal academy experts on animal husbandry that one of last month's rounds of alleged virgin sacrifices fed to Spike may have been less than honest in reference to the state of her maidenhead. As a result of this incident the privyvator is now to be part of the royal gardens where it shall be utilized for the growth of mushrooms. NOTE: If interested in obtaining good shrooms grown only in the finest kraken dung, contact citizen Dakkarious.
By Andrew C McDonald7 months ago in Fiction
Wipermorse
Oh God, where's the bathroom!? Crap! Please let me make it... Nathan hustled rapidly down the hallway of the unfamiliar office building, one hand clutched to his abdomen. Just his luck to have an early morning interview after eating what he was now certain had been bad sushi. Should have listened to Maria when she warned me about that new restaurant.
By Andrew C McDonald7 months ago in Fiction