Why Am I Terrified Of Everything When I Quit Drinking?

Fear and anxiety are the top two reasons I found quitting alcohol difficult. It is an experience I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. These feelings can get so intense that it feels like the world is a hellscape, everything is a threat, and everyone hates you.

I often couldn't last longer than a day without returning to alcohol. The pain was too great. I knew the consequences that come with me drinking alcohol, and I knew I was putting this pain off temporarily, but at the time, it felt as if I had no other choice. It felt like life or death.

This is also why once I start drinking, I have to keep drinking until I pass out. It isn't only when there is zero alcohol in my system that this fear and anxiety kick in. 

I recently learned that I don't get pleasure and relief from just having alcohol in my system; I only get these effects when my blood alcohol content level is rising. As soon as the amount of alcohol in my system becomes steady or starts to decrease, intense feelings of fear and anxiety begin.

This explains why the alcoholic can't just have one. Having one is worse than having none because once that drink is finished, the alcoholic feels worse than they did before.

Let's discuss why this fear and anxiety happens once we abstain from alcohol, making early sobriety difficult.

The central nervous system (CNS) is overexcited

When we first quit drinking, our central nervous system can be overstimulated. Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant which slows down everything. Our brains compensate for alcohol slowing down our CNS by speeding everything up, making us need more and more alcohol to feel the pleasurable feelings we seek. This is how we develop a tolerance to alcohol.

This can cause extreme anxiety, especially for people who are anxiety-prone anyways. This can make you terrified of absolutely everything. Everyone is out to get you, nowhere is safe, and it feels like it will never end.

This overexcited central nervous system is also why alcohol withdrawal is so dangerous. In addition to overwhelming anxiety and fear, it can cause nausea, headaches, cold sweats, high blood pressure, and sometimes even seizures. Medical assistance while detoxing is often necessary as alcohol is one of a few substances that can kill people when going through withdrawals.

If I have a relapse and need to go through the withdrawal process, I need to detox at a detox center medically. I get so sick and experience everything listed above that I cannot do it alone. I have tried.

Fear of the effects of withdrawal 

As if the anxiety and fear from your CNS aren't enough, sometimes people will actually fear the anxiety they know is coming. This is enough for people to go back to drinking right away. Worrying whether or not you will suffer from panic attacks for multiple days, spend hours throwing up, have seizures, or even experience the dreaded delirium tremens is enough to keep people from quitting. 

The fear of alcohol withdrawal and experiencing all of these dangerous side effects was a large reason that I could not quit on my own. Luckily, the wait for medical detox isn't too long where I live. I can get monitored by nurses as I go through this process. They usually prescribe medication to help me with anxiety, and knowing that professionals are there monitoring me reduces the amount of fear I experience.

We have to deal with everything we numbed with alcohol

Unfortunately, as alcoholics, we do many things in active addiction that we feel ashamed of or guilty about. I found that I was eventually drinking because I could not deal with the shame or guilt that came with all my alcohol-fueled behaviours. As soon as we stop drinking, all of these memories we've tried so hard to avoid return with a vengeance. 

We lose our main coping mechanism, alcohol. During years of addiction, we depend heavily on alcohol to cope with the stresses of normal life. It works temporarily; if it didn't, we would not become alcoholics. However, it works so well that we don't develop healthy coping mechanisms because we have alcohol.

When we no longer have our little buddy in a bottle, the world can seem like a terrifying place.

Although quitting alcohol can have all these nasty withdrawal symptoms that come along with it, it is worth it. In a few weeks, you will generally feel better than you did while drinking. If you are considering quitting alcohol and have been drinking heavily, you should consult a medical professional to see the best options for you. It is not safe to detox alone.

If you have gone through alcohol withdrawal and experienced this fear and anxiety, or are considering quitting alcohol, let's discuss it in the comments.