What is narcissism?

What is narcissism?

Long before the first selfie, ancient Greeks and Romans had a myth about someone excessively obsessed with his own image.

In one telling, narcissus was a handsome guy wandering the world in search of someone to love.

After rejecting a nymph named Echo, he caught a glimpse of his own reflection in a river and fell in love with himself.

Unable to tear himself away, Narcissus drowned.

A flower marked the spot of where he died, and we call that flower the Narcissus.

The concept of narcissism is more than just a personality type seen in advice columns. It is a set of traits studied by psychologists. Narcissism is defined in psychology as having an inflated, grandiose self-image.

To varying degrees, narcissists believe they are better looking, smarter, and more important than other people, and that they deserve special treatment.

Psychologists recognize two forms of narcissism as a personality trait:

grandiose and vulnerable narcissism.

There's also narcissistic personality disorder, a more extreme form, which we'll return to shortly.

Grandiose narcissism is the most familiar kind, characterized by extroversion, dominance, and attention seeking.

Grandiose narcissists pursue attention and power, sometimes as politicians, celebrities, or cultural leaders.

Of course, not everyone who pursues these positions of power is narcissistic.

Many do it for very positive reasons like reaching their full potential or helping make people's lives better.

But narcissistic individuals seek power for the status and attention that goes with it.

Conversely, vulnerable narcissists can be quiet and reserved.

They have a strong sense of entitlement but are easily threatened or slighted.

In either case, the dark side of narcissism shows up over the long term.

Narcissists tend to act selfishly, so narcissistic leaders may make risky or unethical decisions and narcissistic partners may be dishonest or unfaithful.

When their positive self-view is challenged, they can become resentful and aggressive.

It's like a disease where the sufferers feel pretty good but the people around them suffer.

Taken to the extreme, this behavior is classified as a psychological disorder

called narcissistic personality disorder.

It affects one to two percent of the population, more commonly men.

It is also a diagnosis reserved for adults.

Young people, especially children, can be very self-centered but this might just be a normal part of development.

The fifth edition of the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual describes several traits associated with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).

Traits of narcissism include a grandiose self-view, lack of empathy, entitlement, and a need for admiration. These traits become a personality disorder when they cause major issues in someone's life. For example, using loved ones for attention rather than caring for them. Or rejecting feedback and insisting on being right instead.

So what causes narcissism?

Twin studies show a strong genetic component, although we don't know which genes are involved.

However, the environment also plays a role.

Parents who put their child on a pedestal can foster grandiose narcissism.

And cold, controlling parents can contribute to vulnerable narcissism.

Narcissism appears to be higher in cultures that value individuality and self-promotion. In the United States, narcissism has been increasing since the 1970s, transitioning from the communal focus of the 60s to a focus on self-esteem and materialism. Social media has further amplified the opportunities for self-promotion. However, there is no definitive evidence that social media directly causes narcissism. Instead, it serves as a platform for narcissists to seek social status and attention.

So can narcissists improve on those negative traits?

Yes!

Anything that promotes honest reflection on their own behavior

and caring for others, like psychotherapy or practicing compassion towards others, can be helpful.

The difficulty is that it can be challenging for people with narcissistic personality disorder to continue working on self-improvement.

For a narcissist, self-reflection is hard from an unflattering angle.