The Underwhelming Feeling of a Diagnosis.

Blood tests, X rays, ECGs and repeated exams, but no definitive results can be the biggest hurdle to getting your health back on track, but what to do when you get a non-definitive diagnosis as the final diagnosis?

For the best part of this year, I’ve been being seen at my local Doctor’s practice for chest pain and dizziness and undergone lots of tests to try and find out what’s causing these symptoms.

I first made an appointment for two weeks ahead, then changed it to sooner, as my symptoms worsened, then had a chest X ray, bloods and an ECG arranged (with some cancellations and rescheduled appointments delaying the process), then eventually received negative results for everything.

I had to repeat some blood tests for minor discrepancies and slightly higher levels of inflammation and possible infection, all to be told that there was nothing to worry about and these numbers weren’t cause for concern and were improving on their own.

However, my chest pains and dizziness were and are still there, but I pushed through with the isolating feeling that no-one was taking me seriously and maybe it was just my anxiety, despite it not seemingly being related.

I went back to work after having time off at a still new job, where despite receiving support and concern, I was worried I was letting people down and not proving myself to be a good addition to the team, in a fast paced environment where physical tasks are important.

I’m forever grateful for the treatment I have received so far but have also been both underwhelmed and overwhelmed at the answers I’ve received. I felt like I needed to keep pushing but truly believed it wasn’t worth the effort it would take to be taken seriously, besides, if the tests are there on paper, what else could I be offered?

Gratefully, at this point in time, I at least received confirmed to me that my condition was non-cardiac, which is a huge relief and stress taken away from the situation but still a shockingly underwhelming piece of news, what if not what I thought?!

I had a few good weeks at work, until on Friday when I was in the middle of work, feeling okay physically, when I stretched to do a task and felt horrible pain and became too dizzy to continue. I sat down and waited, tried again and the same thing happened…

I let my supervisor know, who let our team leader know, who contacted first aid and before I knew it, I was sat outside with my pulse, blood sugars and temperature being taken. I had some scary drops in blood oxygen levels and I was nauseous. An ambulance was on the way….

I cannot thank my colleagues and bosses and the first aid or ambulance teams enough, they were considerate and helpful and made me feel like I had to have a reason to feel the way I did and even they were unsure, which made me feel more confident in my confusion, if medical professionals were unsure, I had every right to be…

Because of my changing condition and a lack of answers, I was taken to my local hospital, where after more tests and waiting, I was finally told that I have MSK (musculoskeletal) issues, which is basically a condition where tendons connecting to bones can be overstretched or arthritis can be affecting the area, either from injury or general wear and tear.

For me, this is my central chest area and general physical activity is affected and doesn’t come from a specific injury, as far as I can pinpoint. The pain can also cause breathlessness and in turn, dizziness and other symptoms associated with those issues, such as headaches and the nausea that I have, at times, felt.

I’m now at a stage where I have been referred to the physiotherapist team at my local surgery and told to use basic pain relief and rest in the meantime, then resume everything at my own pace, depending on the situation and advice given by professionals at my first session.

Wherein comes the underwhelming feeling of diagnosis, I have been doing slow exercise, resting and trying to get on with life, interchangeably. I know how to manage pain and I have the resources to do so. So I feel like the answer, isn’t really a useful answer. I can’t work but I can work but I have to rest, but I have to exercise. It’s s lot and it’s nothing, all at once.

And of course, I could be wrong and physio could be the best circumstance and the actual solution to my ongoing problems but I wanted to document and share, this unusual feeling, as I’m going through it in real-time. I feel like it’s over and it’s just beginning all at once and I don’t have a definitive timeline or plan going forward yet.

I do have an appointment for the middle of this week, as I write this and I’ll write more about this time in my life, as it continues and hopefully concludes soon as well.

I just want to end by saying that I’m grateful for my situation and every step of my treatment, even when it has been confusing. I’m grateful for quickly (overall) being seen and referred multiple times. I’m grateful that I have been both able to take time off and continue to work with support. And I’m grateful for everyone who has supported me, medically; doctors, nurses, first aiders and everyone else on that side of things and to my family, partner and friends who’ve been there for me emotionally and physically when needed.

I also want to highlight that I am definitely *Not* a medical professional, all experiences and thoughts are my own. I have to insist that if you have any concerns about your own health, to contact the relevant professionals to start or continue your own medical journey and push and ask again, if you need to.

Stay safe, take care, H x