Anxiety and discouragement: how they are related and how to overcome it

Living with anxiety and discouragement is an exhausting experience, which causes us discomfort and which unfortunately is becoming more and more frequent. Anxiety leads us to stress, exhaustion and anguish, and discouragement subjects us to a vicious circle of discomfort and negative thoughts that seem to never end. Why do these sensations arise? How they relate?

Although anxiety and discouragement were very common psychological and emotional problems , since 2020 the number of people who live with these sensations has been growing. We live in a world that is increasingly complicated, rushed and full of insecurities. However, the solution to this problem cannot be a massive medication.

If you live with anxiety and discouragement and want to solve the problem, you have come to the right article. Here we are not only going to define what anxiety and discouragement are and why they occur, but also to try to find solutions based on psychological evidence and, above all, with real experience in consultation over 12 years.

I am Rubén Camacho, a psychologist and Human Empowerment coach , and in the last 2 years the percentage of people I have attended with anxiety and discouragement, or who lived with these sensations frequently, exceeds 70%. Although it can be a distressing problem, the solution comes when we learn to understand where it comes from, how we manage it, and you begin to apply practical changes that take you out of the loop.

That is the objective of this article: that you can start applying the first changes that lead you towards that solution.

The origin of anxiety

Anxiety is one of the most unpleasant sensations that human beings experience. It is a state of generalized fear that makes us live on alert, as if what we fear could happen at any moment . It is common to feel anxiety when we have become accustomed to living with fear and insecurity, in relation to couple breakups or some conflict that we fear, or in relation to health problems. In short: anxiety makes us feel that something negative and dangerous for you is going to happen at any moment.

In turn, anxiety leads us to ruminate, to experience intrusive thoughts. We think nonstop about what we think is going to happen and we feel more and more exhausted and fear grows.

If I asked you where in your body you feel anxiety, you'd probably tell me it's in your chest or pit of your stomach. Depending on the person, sometimes it is felt in the stomach, it causes gastritis problems or lack of appetite, anguish in the throat (which we calm down only after an episode of crying) or headache. But why does it first arise in the pit of the stomach?

Feeling anxiety can be normal when we experience an event for which we are not prepared. A first day of work, being before an exam, a first date or a move can cause us anxiety. It is a passing experience that is not a major problem. Difficulties come when anxiety is too frequent, intense and long-lasting .

We feel anxiety in the pit of our stomach because, faced with that alert feeling, we begin to breathe, completely unconsciously, quickly and superficially. Our diaphragm is a large muscle that serves as a bellows to help us breathe.

When we feel anxiety we barely inflate our lungs and breathe so shallow and fast that our own diaphragm crushes the pit of our stomach. This is the reason why to overcome your anxiety it is essential to work with your respiratory mechanics. Resorting to anxiolytics (something more and more frequent) is a short-term remedy that usually makes the definitive solution difficult, since it relaxes the diaphragm and prevents you from learning to breathe fully. This is the first step and the most essential when we begin to live a process of change to solve anxiety definitively.

Now, why do we associate anxiety with discouragement? Anxiety is above all fear, while discouragement is related to sadness. The relationship and explanation will help you discover what is happening to you in more depth.

Discouragement as a reaction to anxiety

Feeling low is not exactly depression . Discouragement is an unpleasant experience, linked to sadness and also to laziness and lack of motivation. We feel a lack of encouragement or meaning because our day-to-day life is exhausting, unstimulating, as if it were a spiral or vicious circle. What causes discouragement?

Discouragement is not a primary reaction. That is, discouragement is always a consequence of something else that has happened . There can be 3 reasons to feel discouraged:

• Taking too long without generating well-being by your own means: emotional dependence on your partner or a life that is too stressful or worried can make you forget about yourself, what you need, you focus too much on your fears and insecurities and finally we lose a sense of or purpose for the day
• Discouragement can be, above all, a reaction mechanism to anxiety.
• Anxiety is exhausting, so much so that our body can enter a state of discouragement. For this reason, it is not usually effective to work with discouragement as the main cause. It is necessary to solve your problem with anxiety first.

7 keys to get out of anxiety and discouragement

The 7 keys that I am going to tell you are based on what people who have overcome their problems with anxiety and discouragement have experienced in a stable way. Although what happens outside affects us and conditions us (problems with the couple, work, etc.), the only thing you can work with is yourself, with your way of understanding and managing it. From your own personal change everything else will happen. These are the 7 keys.

1. Work with anxiety as a priority

Anxiety is a borderline feeling. It affects us in all areas of our life. When we decrease its intensity, frequency and duration, everything becomes much easier . It is important that learning to manage anxiety is your main goal. The solutions are not in external remedies, but in your way of breathing and managing your emotions.

2. Respiratory mechanics

Learning to breathe fully will give you more peace of mind, energy, and above all it will help you reduce intrusive thoughts. To get this achievement you need patience, since it is a daily job. But... don't you think that daily work that will bear fruit for your whole life is better than an immediate and temporary remedy that makes the problem come back the next day?

3. Manage your emotions

Anxiety is an intense fear that has become widespread. Learning to understand and manage your fears, insecurities, guilt or anguish is vital so that anxiety is reduced and you can live your day to day with more calm, acceptance and confidence. This learning is also related to your way of building self-esteem and relationships , as well as your interpretations and belief systems. Working with your emotional part is essential to solve what happens to you.

4. Set limits

Learning to communicate assertively will help you set limits in relation to what you want, don't want, can or can't. Limits are a necessary part of our lives to feel well-being and improve our personal relationships. What prevents us from setting limits is above all the fear of the other's reaction (hence the importance of learning to understand and manage what you feel).

5. Belief system

Your belief system relates to what you interpret about what occurs. But what you believe is not reality, but your subjective interpretation, also based on your fears and difficulties. Discovering how your belief system works and overcoming habitual limits will help you to know yourself and feel better.

6. Have support

The greatest difficulty we experience when we feel anxiety is loneliness, which is why it is so important to have an expert company that supports you constantly and flexibly , every day, for any difficulty you have, in addition to weekly sessions and tools. The company will make you feel that change is possible.

7. Discouragement

It is also important not to leave discouragement aside, but to apply practical changes that make you recover the meaning of your day to day life and generate well-being .

Solving anxiety and discouragement involves a delicate process, but one that will bring you benefits for your entire life. It is about understanding yourself, knowing how to manage what you feel and that your emotions are for you instead of against you. And above all: may the change you experience be stable and always help you.