Satire
D.E.A.R MARGARET
I've written and deleted this letter forty-seven times. I know you said you didn't want to hear from me again, and I'm respecting that, this letter is addressed to you, but I'm not sending it. I'm leaving it here, on your porch, in a waterproof envelope, with explicit instructions on the envelope that it should only be opened if: (a) something happens to me, or (b) you find out from someone else first, at which point my explanation will at least be on record. So this is not me trying to contact you. This is me creating plausible deniability while also ensuring you know the whole truth. I'm sure your therapist would have thoughts about that.
By Aarsh Malik6 months ago in Humor
I would like to apologize for punching the octopus!. Winner in Sorry About That Challenge. Top Story - May 2026.
“I would like to apologize for punching the octopus.” Words I never thought I’d say, but here we are. I flexed my sore hand while I looked down and awkwardly shuffled my feet. I put my hand in my pocket, then took it out again.
By Adam Kolozetti6 months ago in Humor
The Unwritten Rules of Grocery Store Parking Lots...
Prologue: Lo, the Battlefield Lo, do I see before me, a kingdom of cracked asphalt and faded paint. A field where the strong prey upon the distracted, where carts roll like tumbleweeds across the prairie, and where no mortal leaves unscathed. This, my friends, is the grocery store parking lot… the true crucible of modern society.
By The Pompous Post6 months ago in Humor
Marty's Adventures With the Whoopee Cushion
Steve was sitting in the kitchen at the table reading the newspaper when Marty staggered in. Marty looked like he had been riding a horse for a week. "Hey, old buddy, what the hell is up with you? I was just about to head off to bed.”
By Calvin London6 months ago in Humor
Dude!!. Honorable Mention in Sorry About That Challenge.
I been looking for you everywhere to apologize. I know you're standing behind that door, so I'm just going to say it. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about how things went at your party. I didn't know that my mom's would come there looking for me, I didn't!
By John Scipio6 months ago in Humor
I Meant to Report It Earlier
I’m sorry about the door. I should have mentioned it sooner. It’s just that when it first happened, it didn’t seem like something worth escalating. The handle came loose, that’s all. Not completely - just enough that it turned a little farther than it should have.
By Alain SUPPINI6 months ago in Humor
A Humble Apology Regarding the "Inconvenience" at the Crane Pavilion
To the Esteemed Board of Directors and our Valued Guests, Please accept my most sincere and profound apologies. At the Izumi-no-Yu Ryokan, we pride ourselves on Omotenashi—the spirit of selfless hospitality. However, regarding the events of last Tuesday evening, it appears our spirit was, perhaps, a bit too restless.
By Takashi Nagaya6 months ago in Humor
It’s 11:59 PM on a Saturday… Guess What Just Broke?
It never happens on a Tuesday at 10:15 a.m. when the repair shop is open, the hardware store is stocked, and your neighbor Dave (who allegedly “knows about wiring”) is still awake. No, no… Life saves its most catastrophic breakdowns for the sacred hour between 11:59 p.m. Saturday and 2:00 a.m. Sunday, when every professional you might call is either asleep, closed, or at karaoke belting out a chorus of “Sweet Caroline.”
By The Pompous Post6 months ago in Humor
Why Didn't You Give Me A Top Story?. Content Warning.
Introduction Obviously, this is fictional because the support person actually has a meaningful dialogue with the protagonist. The protagonist is dismissed, but you can see that this is a total slice of ham fiction.
By Mike Singleton 💜 Mikeydred 6 months ago in Humor
