Ian Vince

Joined October 2020

0 stories

Bio

Erstwhile non-fiction author, ghost & freelance writer for others, finally submitting work that floats my own boat, does my own thing. I'll deal with it if you can.

Achievements (1)

Runner-Up in Dancing with Distraction Challenge

Stories (62/0)

Earth Votes to Leave Galaxy
Dame Maggie Corvid, LAMN*: Lead Civil Service Specialist Advisor, UK Government Galactic Exit Group. Well, I see you've made up your mind now. I was in my garden talking to Lady Fenella Bicester about the council's plans to build a waste incinerator. It's on land they own next door to the village's sheltered housing units and that stuck-up old krone who urged the Parish Council to wave it through on the grounds she couldn't see it from her verandah, has changed her mind now on the grounds that she will be able to smell it instead.
By Ian Vince22 days ago in Humor
The Beginner’s Guide to the End
For forty years, the world awoke each morning relieved to be alive and undisturbed by any of the twenty-two thousand warheads pointing this way and that in the Cold War. World leaders played nuclear poker while booklets told us how to survive the fallout with bin liners, masking tape and interior doors, swiftly unhinged during the three-minute warning. Secret tunnels, chambers and shelters were dug for the lucky few while the rest sweated it out from crisis to climb-down and back.
By Ian Vince2 months ago in Humor
Someone Else is Me
Dear Me, Dear You, I have arrived at the beginning of the end of something negative. Perhaps that’s an odd way of expressing positivity, but if there's one thing that the past few years have taught me, it is that the old, normal way of doing everything should no longer serve as the basis for future plans.
By Ian Vince5 months ago in Psyche
How to Buy Genuine British Justice
Your British Rights In line with its remit to streamline immigration by stopping it altogether, the Department of Social Scrutiny has signed off a number of improvements to the complex and convoluted rights and responsibilities of living in Britain.
By Ian Vince5 months ago in Humor
About Your Government
The Government, your Government, has had its difficulties recently. There have been accusations of sleaze, spin, whitewash and, most recently, less than wholesome conduct with a dead rhinoceros, but these setbacks are really just issues of presentation, and the government remains adhered to its policy of muscular modernization.
By Ian Vince5 months ago in Humor
Set Your Money Free. Give it to Us
be free find freedom find freedom for your money Come to the bank that’s tuned into your needs as surely as we’re tuned into the one-world zeitgeist of aspirational widescreen zenverts.
By Ian Vince5 months ago in Humor
Job Vacancy – Uncivil Servant
Uncivil Servant Excellent benefits including car, speedboat, microlight, gun. Are you... A weak-chinned Oxbridge paedophile with a penchant for mainlining lavatory cleaner and strangling prostitutes? Hungry for a fast-track career compromising third-world governments and blowing up bridges? Is your current job holding you back with poor pay and conditions, modest options for growth and not enough access to high explosives?
By Ian Vince6 months ago in Humor
New Readers' Disgust Prize Draw
Dear You, We have written to you today, in fake biro, because you are one of the 320 million lucky, lucky people our database profiles as vulnerable enough to sign up for worthless crap just to enter a prize draw that appeals to the self-delusional optimism that’s ruined your life so far.
By Ian Vince6 months ago in Humor
Nufonimous
Nufonimous: adj The location or sensation of direct contact with an uncanny ‘otherness’ that has not been immediately preceded by administration of a recreational pharmaceutical.
By Ian Vince6 months ago in Fiction
Britain's New UAP Investigation
Your Willingness to Believe The following examination assesses whether you are a skeptical, incisive and logical member of society or a flaky, idle skywatcher with psychological disorders stemming from poor hygiene and an unrealistically high expectation of meeting beings from another planet.
By Ian Vince6 months ago in Humor
Are You a Gob or Are You a Git?
It's 2023 and democracy is an enfeebled old man in the toilet, simultaneously wiping its arse with the constitution and spaffing into a hankie about how great it is. But you can't decide whether you are engaged in the whole process or not? Find out with our easy quiz.
By Ian Vince6 months ago in Humor
The Notch on a Chimney That Made it English
North of the Black Mountains, beyond Y Gelli Gandryll, the Anglo-Welsh border abandons the long, straight hogback watersheds of unpronounceable Welsh streams and the centre line of the wide Wye to become a much more local and complicated affair altogether.
By Ian Vince6 months ago in History

Ian Vince

Bio

Achievements .css-19zxm0z-Text{display:inline-block;color:var(--text-default-mute);}(1)

Stories (62/0)

Earth Votes to Leave Galaxy

The Beginner’s Guide to the End

Someone Else is Me

How to Buy Genuine British Justice

About Your Government

Set Your Money Free. Give it to Us

Job Vacancy – Uncivil Servant

New Readers' Disgust Prize Draw

Nufonimous

Britain's New UAP Investigation

Are You a Gob or Are You a Git?

The Notch on a Chimney That Made it English

Achievements (1)