Dude!!

I been looking for you everywhere to apologize. I know you're standing behind that door, so I'm just going to say it. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about how things went at your party. I didn't know that my mom's would come there looking for me, I didn't!

She was looking for the firecrackers I bought. I left the library and snuck down to China Town to get them. I don't know how she found out about them! Man, all I wanted to do is have some fun when the fourth of July came, I just wanted to pop some of those babies off, light some sparklers, and impress the girlies, you know, like we used to do.

I didn't know that was my mom's was at your door when I answered it! She was livid when she walked in and saw all of us in that apartment drinking things we had no business drinking, and some of us smoking stuff that we shouldn't have been smoking. She blew a gasket when she saw Ms. Garner's daughter, Eva coming out of that room hugged up with Samad, her blouse all unbuttoned.

I knew my mom's was coming for me, so I slipped the firecrackers under the sofa seat and tried to step off to the bathroom, but she caught up to me before I could get to the bathroom door. That was some very foul language she was using for a woman her age while she searched my pockets, looking for those firecrackers. Then she had to grab me by my ear, and in front of Kecia too.

Tywan and Mona were sitting on the sofa when my mom's turned around and saw the joint in his hand. See, you needed to get mad at him for trying to hide a lit joint under a sofa seat. That's when things got lit, Bro, I am so, so, sorry!

The only thing I remember is the sound of those firecrackers going off. Mona started screaming, she jumped up so fast it defied logic. Tywan jumped over the sofa and ran for the door. People started screaming. Big Boy Trevor tried to fit his 300-pound self under y'all's living room table and broke one of the legs. My moms pulled me down on the floor and covered me with her body. I got a big knot on my head from her pulling me down so fast and so hard.

Then Talicia had to go and shout, "Somebody's shootin'! Somebody's shootin!" And everyone lost their doggone minds. Marcia knocked over your mom's prized vase, the one that got her the award in Apartment's Weekly, man was she proud of that vase.

The firecrackers just kept going off and people started heading for the door. Foster, that fake thug, was calling for his momma while he was running out the door. He tripped over Marcy; she tripped over him and then they both tripped trying to beat each other to the stairwell. The two of them looked crazy holding onto each other while they both rolled down the stairs to the first floor.

Everybody was haulin' butt out of your apartment when your moms walked in and zeroed in you. Bro, if I had been standing, I would've been able to give you the warning 'whoop', but my mom's was holding me down, dang it!

They told me your moms grabbed you by your shirt and slammed you up against the wall. They said your feet were dangling. I'm sorry bro, I'm so, so, so, so sorry. I heard that you got grounded indefinitely, they said your moms was talking about grounding you until your 40th birthday.

And me, my mom's is making write a 50 paged research paper on the dangers of firecrackers and lying to your elders. I have to include footnotes and examples. Oh, and I have to interview some of the people that did what I did and got caught. Uh, and that's the other reason I'm over here.

You think you could give me a few minutes of your time? Is your mom's still mad?