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Letter From The Unknown, And The Reply, Also From The Unknown.

Dear Unknown

By Carol TownendPublished 2 months ago 3 min read
Letter From The Unknown, And The Reply, Also From The Unknown.
Photo by Kate Macate on Unsplash

Letter from the unknown:

Dear Unknown,

Are you really unknown?

I think I know you.

You're a smart ass, and I don't know how to outsmart you.


You don't know me, even though I'm known worldwide! I promise you, this is very real. Now, don't throw a good thing away. Please don't tell anybody we are in touch. I need your full trust because my PR department will go mad if they find out I have been talking to you.

I have seen you on my verified Facebook page, so I know you're a fan. I am messaging you from my private page because my Facebook page is run by management, and I get loads of messages there, so I can't respond.

I want you to know that I really appreciate you being a fan.

Reply from the unknown:

Yes, I am a big fan but you don't know me.

You see I am used to scammers, so if you are who you really are, please message me from your verified page in order to confirm this.

By the way, yes I am a smart ass, and I'm very apt at detecting scammers. You only know me, because you are a fan on the same page trying to prove yourself as big as the singer I support. Only a loser could do that, so verify yourself you peanutbutthead!

Oh and just so you know. The button that says 'message' on your verified page is what you use to send messages. Nobody uses telegram to chat with someone on facebook unless they know its real!

How will you prove that, if you can't prove yourself here?

I know since I am 'unknown' to you, though my profile clearly states my name, then maybe you don't know me at all!

You're not even using your real name, you scumbucketbagfaced brainhead!

Do you know how I got famous?

Everybody knows my name because I show myself in my profile!

Why are you so squeamish?

Is your face that bad that you have to pose as some very good-looking famous person who you think I fancy?


What a bad judge of character you really are!

D' ya wanna know who I really am?

I mean, you took the time to get to know me. I should be impressed. Wow! Your so 'swell, I should tell you who I am, shouldn't I?

I know who you are; you're 'Joe Unfamous!'

See, you don't have a real name, ha!

Oh, well; my reputation is better than yours.


Don't judge!!

I gotta keep that up for my own fans, right?

Well, here we go 'Unknown!'

Let me introduce who I am!

I'm the thing that stalks trolls, and scammers, then rips their ego's out with my teeth.

I'm not even human, and I play 'I Spy' all the time.

I'm that detective that calls fakes out when they are looking to have some dirty affair, and yes, I have a gob; so I can tell your wife.

Don't think I won't find her. I'm the thing that is everywhere, and I can find her without you knowing anything.

I know why you want to portray the famous. You think you can catch fresh meat; well, I am fresh meat obviously!

I am preserved and protected, so you can't have me anyway. I am way too good for you!

Go and find a bad catch, girlfriend/wife scammer!

That's if you know what a real girlfriend or wife looks like!

Just for the record; I know you don't, otherwise you wouldn't be talking to a computer!

See ya,


SatiricalSarcasmRoastLaughterIronyHilariousCONTENT WARNINGComedyWriting

About the Creator

Carol Townend

Fiction, Horror, Sex, Love, Mental Health, Children's fiction and more. You'll find many stories in my profile. I don't believe in sticking with one Niche! I write, but I also read a lot too.

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  • Babs Iverson2 months ago


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