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If Evil, Why Cute?

In which I return to Vocal with pictures of my cat.

By Amanda StarksPublished 19 days ago β€’ 3 min read
Top Story - May 2024
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My cat Diamond, edited using Canva Assets!

It starts like this, fair readers:

It's the early morning, and I've just stolen the last cup of coffee from the pot. I open up my brainstorming journal to scrappy pages, my laptop primed upon a dusty, glowing white screen; words either already written or about to be written upon the blank spaces.

But what is this? A cry for help beyond the veil of creativity! A sharp, piercing sound that rattles the brain stem and disrupts artistic pathways.

Tiny patters echo down the corridor while white fur flies into the turbulent air, claws flashing in the artificial light - a fluffy friend, or predator?

No, it is none other than Diamond: the Supreme Overlord of Distraction!

She's so smug...

Do not be fooled by her soft features and dinner plate-sized eyes. She is a menace to all writers, and I can prove her evildoings.

Like clockwork, should my rear end touch my chair beside my writing desk, her heightened senses kick in. She storms the barricades with skillful dexterity, opening closed doors as if she were descended from wizards. Her cries cast a taunting spell, immediately interfering with work flow.

Ignore her, and she might just go away. Answer her - well, you've fallen for the trap.

Any input into her antics will be thrust upon you ten-fold. Should I say, "not now!", her meow will increase in pitch and she will violently rub against my legs, the legs of my desk, and any trashcan unlucky enough not to be tied down.

If I say, "what is it, sweet princess?", her cries will soften and she will sit beside my chair, her eyes tilted up at me with questions to the universe that gods can only fathom.

Either way, it always ends up the same: a direct attack upon my sacred writing space.

She's scheming a way to get my attention...

You know this to be a cardinal sin, dear writers, so do not try to convince me that this soft, fluffy vessel of cuteness is anything other than evil incarnate!

Nothing is safe: brainstorming sessions, novel writing, note taking, research, and EVEN PRECIOUS GAMING TIME!

The piles of paper corpses Diamond has left in her wake are numerous. From RE:SURGENCE poems stopped mid-flow, to epic one-liners turned into "asdfghjkl" by diabolical paws, there is much to be uncovered in her precious treasure horde.

No poetry. Only Diamond.

But don't think that once I leave the sacred writing space that her schemes have ended!

We've all been there as writers: sitting before our vehicles of creation with words to write...but no motivation to convert them into tangible works.

So, what do we do?

ANYTHING ELSE.

Baking 50 cupcakes, binge watching another medical drama, dusting your room for the hundredth time because you live in Texas, going out to get that ONE food your craving, and of course who can forget the infamous LAUNDRY?

These are sensitive moments for writers, as we are not only procrastinating, but probably doubting why we chose this unstable profession in the first place. Disturbing a writer out in the wild while in this headspace is tantamount to torture.

SO HERE IT IS: PROOF OF HER ULTIMATE EVIL -

She's been caught. Execute order 66!

CUDDLING UP IN THE LAUNDRY BASKETS!

So, the question comes around...

If evil, why cute?

Well, dear reader, the answer is simple:

My writer friends always have the answers to age old questions.

________

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

It's been a month since I last posted. Thankfully I wasn't on hiatus because of bad things (tm). It was actually amazing things!

For one, I signed up for a Flash Fiction course! It started right around the time of my last published work and is wrapping up this week. To say I've learned a lot would be the understatement of the century.

Then, I went on vacation! A REAL VACATION! It was a much needed break and got me out of the house, which as a writer is a very rare thing. xD

This piece was seriously so much fun to write! Sometimes you just need to try a more relaxed style of writing to get yourself back into the swing of things. I hope it made you smile!

Looking forward to catching up with all of you, reading your work, and sharing more of my own! <3

LaughterSarcasmHilariousFunny
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About the Creator

Amanda Starks

Lover of the dark, fantastical, and heart-wrenching. Fantasy writer, poet, and hopefully soon-to-be novelist who wants to create safe spaces to talk about mental health. Subscribe to my free newsletter at www.amandastarks.com for updates!

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Comments (21)

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  • Khan12 days ago

    This is hilarious and so relatable ❀️

  • Rowan Finley 12 days ago

    Haha! This is fun. Thank you for sharing.

  • It did make me smile and Diamond is a good looking cat. Great job and congratulations on your Top Story!!! πŸ’œπŸ©·πŸ’™

  • Cathy holmes13 days ago

    This was such a fun read. Congrats on the TS.

  • Ian Read14 days ago

    Awesome work, dude! I also miss your kitties lol

  • Linda Goodman15 days ago

    Fantastic Congratulations on your top story

  • Raihana H.16 days ago

    Congrats on top story! The innocent look is definitely fooling me! I'm doubting your claims!πŸ˜‚

  • Fantastic writing.

  • Jasmine Whitmore16 days ago

    Congratulations on the top story!

  • Novel Allen17 days ago

    Why does the cat remind me of a cheeky Pharoah. I can see the cuteness which drove this narrative...so cuddly. I love cats. Congrats

  • Anu Mehjabin17 days ago

    What a delightful piece! Your humor and vivid storytelling turn everyday distractions into charming anecdotes. Diamond, the Supreme Overlord of Distraction, might be a playful menace, but she embodies the unexpected joys that fuel creativity. Your ability to transform interruptions into inspiration is truly admirable. Keep sharing your wonderful storiesβ€”they bring smiles and inspiration to all!

  • Richard Weber17 days ago

    I have often wondered what would happen if I let the cat write a story. No one would understand the gibberish. I might just put it in a time capsule and let ancient archeologists try to figure out it's meaning

  • Ameer Bibi17 days ago

    I always feared of cats πŸ˜” Congratulations on TS

  • Andrea Corwin 17 days ago

    Fabulous, I love cats and this story about your evil muse!!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ great joband congratulations on TS. πŸŽ‰

  • Catsidhe18 days ago

    Of course the answer is, "Is cute BECAUSE evil," lol. Well done!

  • The Dani Writer18 days ago

    Aww, kitty! Otherwise known as 'supreme-deity-worthy-of-all-attention-all-the-time.' Just doing what she does best 😁 Well done on getting a top story!

  • angela hepworth18 days ago

    That cute little kitty could never do a thing wrong, what are you talking about? πŸ˜‚ Loved this!

  • Christy Munson18 days ago

    Congratulations on Top Story! And on the real vacation! Enjoyed learning about cat craziness. Cute, but evil, indeed.

  • shanmuga priya18 days ago

    Interesting to know. Congratulations πŸŽ‰ again

  • Congrats on your TS.

  • This was great! lots of energy! Even though cats make me nervous! I dared to be brave and pushed through my fear and read all the way! haaahaa! welcome back from Vacation! and a writing course?! How exciting!

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