7 Easy Ways to Make Your Poems More Impactful!

It's subscriber party time!

I recently realized 34 humans have willingly chosen to follow me through one of the most inconsistent writing journeys out there. That's 12 more than the record for most people to have ever fit into an old Volkswagon Beetle and 2 more than the longest human tunnel traveled through by a skateboarding dog!

So I decided based on these impressive facts that 34 was a perfect milestone to celebrate.

DISCLAIMER: I have zero clue if I'm going to make this a thing but the idea of writing a parody every time I hit a random subscriber goal hits a funny bone in my goblin brain, so let's run with it.

Also, shout out to my friend Ian Read for keeping me in check on this article. It was truly a heroic sacrifice.

Also, ALSO, I don't endorse the use of drugs. This is satire, not actual advice.

HERE ARE 7 EASY WAYS TO MAKE YOUR POEM MORE IMPACTFUL

1. TRAUMA DUMP

This is an age-old, tried-and-true method to make any baby cry ( or to trigger somebody already having one of THOSE days ) and to ensure you snag comments praising you on your incredible bravery for forcing the audience to be your therapist.

It's one of the simplest and easiest ways to add more "UMPH" to your poem. Just dig through your childhood trauma until you find a memory that sends you into a void from which you never wish to emerge from again, and then format it into a long, non-sensical list of edgy descriptors and metaphors that sound like lyrics from your favorite emo rock band in middle school.

BOOM, you now have impactful poetry.

But wait, Amanda, what if I DON'T have trauma?

Well, if that is the case, then just wait.

...

MOVING ON.

2. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TOO MANY METAPHORS

Speaking of edgy metaphors, you really can never have enough of them. It's one of the best ways to communicate your theme and message by completely running around the POINT until your reader eventually collides with it like a bunny rabbit getting obliterated by a 19th-century 914 Caliber cannon. See how that just impacted you?

Metaphors don't have to be edgy, they can be any flavor you desire. From referring to a forbidden love as a dance with satan himself to reminiscing on how your grandma's dead dog had a heart of gold, the possibilities are literally endless.

3. LIVE IN THE WILDERNESS

Like any good dead dog, you too should find a nice peaceful place to become inspired in the wilderness. This is essential if you wish to tackle the very elite and ever-illusive NATURE POEM.

Nature poems are like dandelions. Blow on one hard enough and you'll soon spawn dozens of dandelion seeds that scatter to the wind...and multiply...and grow...until they get blown on again.

But to make your little dandelion fluff truly spread its wings and get far enough away from its siblings to actually grow and make an impact, it's important to get back to your roots.

TIME TO GO CAMPING.

Ask your boss for at least two months off and completely vanish from the radar, never to be part of civilization again. Bring only the most basic necessities and give the rest of yourself to the wilderness. It is only here, in the wild, naked and afraid, that you will learn what nature TRULY feels like. Use this experience to create more powerful and realistic diction in your poems that will surely make an impact wherever you share them.

Just leave out the part about the mosquitos. They don't deserve poetry.

4. MAKE A FLOWER FOREST OUT OF YOUR LANGUAGE

Have you ever gotten lost in the woods? No? You should. It's a wonderful experience. Very impactful.

There is something so fantastical about discovering all the imposing, winding, and twisting trees whose bark is aged to messy perfection. Much like poetry, each word can be like this; elongated and muddling to further engross your audience.

I mean, just think about it! The enduring and lengthy language of your poetry will make you sound astute, enlightened, and sagacious. No one could ever possibly think that you are the most monumental literary poet impersonator!

Who needs simple diction when you can have a forest in every sentence?

5. USE BIG WORDS

The bigger the better, at least in Texas, but why not apply that to your poems? Bigger words represent intelligence, education, and a profound knowledge of the English language. Try to use more of them, even if you don't know the exact definition, and it will leave quite an impact on your readership!

Take that, pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis!

( THAT word that refers to a lung disease contracted from the inhalation of very fine silica particles, specifically from a volcano; medically, it is the same as silicosis. ) - I don't know, Google?

"As we all know, you must use the biggest words possible, otherwise, how will people know you have a graduate degree?" - Ian

"Or access to a smartphone?" - Amanda

"So much for my graduate degree..." - Ian

6. WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, USE DRUGS

Did you really think the Beatles wrote all those famous songs sober? Surely taking inspiration from such creative powerhouses can't be a bad thing right?

But, Amanda, they weren't poets. They were lyricists!

I mean, close enough, but I assume you want to know which famous writers and poets were drug users, just to see if indeed you should use this tactic as a last resort. Let's see here:

As a case in point, the British Romantic poet John Keats (1795-1821) used opium. His countrymen Charles Dickens (1812-1870) used morphine; Aldous Huxley (1894-1963) used mescaline and psychotropic drugs. Across the globe, the U.S. playwright known as Tennessee Williams (1911-1983) abused alcohol and drugs. - American Addiction Centers

Ah, yes. The truth comes to light. I guess it's time to fold and light a joint for the glorious literary future!

BUT WAIT AMANDA, I DON'T DO DRUGS!

Oh...well there is one last thing you can try.

7. PRETEND YOU KNOW HOW TO POEM

Just fake it till you make it, so they say. Why study or be authentic when you can just trick your readership into thinking you're the God of poetry? With proper impact application, you will be wowing every reader for miles around, regardless if you've never bothered to learn what makes a poem a poem.

Poetry after all is so subjective.

_________________________

AUTHORS NOTE:

Hello, again! Thank you to all my 34 amazing subscribers for joining me on this little journey. I hope this brought out a few chuckles, and to those who are not yet subscribed, why not join us on this rollercoaster ride of chaos? Who knows what the next subscriber special will hold?

Now back to your regularly scheduled content: depressing poems and dark stories. (:

With much love,

Amanda S. <3

P.S.

You must read an Ian Read piece if you haven't yet. Here are some beginner-friendly suggestions: