I Hate Mondays and Other Ramblings

Yesterday, I discovered Judey Kalchick's challenge to the Vocal community: Write 100 thoughts in 20 minutes.

After reading that post and Cathy Holmes's story, I decided to give it a try.

Needless to say that my brain and hands hurt! I actually think I caught wrist tendinitis.

Without further ado, here is my entry.

1. I hate Mondays.
2. Yes, like Garfield.
3. But I like lasagna.
4. Yes, like Garfield.
5. I should watch the stars more often. It’s cloudy these days, though.
6. I love annoying spammers. James Veitch just copied my ideas...
7. ... At least that’s what I keep telling myself.
8. Kahlil Gibran is the greatest artist of the 20th century.
9. One of the most beautiful drawings I have ever seen is titled “Sleep”. You can see it here.
10. Useless bit of trivia: Did you know that the legs of Rebecca Ferguson’s mother appear on one of Abba’s album cover?
11. The answer is the album Abba, in case you were wondering.
12. Check out the back of that cover, if you don’t believe me.
13. “But, Cendrine, we cannot see her face. How would we know?"
14. Did I mention her face? I talked about her legs. And Ferguson said it in an interview. So, chill!
15. I watched The Exorcist when I was 12. I was terrified of the dark for many years after that.
16. I once saw a UFO. I was 7 or 8.
17. It could have been something else, like an asteroid or meteorite.
18. It floated in the air for a few second.
19. Genesis is the greatest band ever...
20. Closely followed by Abba and Supertramp.
21. Oh, and did I mention that I love Mike Oldfield?
22. My mother forced me to take piano lessons. I am so badly coordinated that I can only play chords.
23. The same goes for the guitar. I could be good, but I don’t have the patience to learn.
24. I just play along my favorite songs, and only if they are easy to play.
25. Which means that I only know about 10 chords.
26. I once fancied myself a songwriter. I penned a few lyrics, but they were so bad that even my cat meowed in disbelief.
27. Cathy Holmes, your Abigail would be proud of my Ginger, I tell ya!
28. Sometimes, I pretend that I am Céline Dion when I sing in the shower.
29. Speaking of which, have I ever told you that using GIFs of Céline is one of the most effective ways to get rid of spammers, scammers and random strangers asking for dick pics?
30. Case in point, check this out here.
31. Once, I spent three days in a row responding to a guy with said GIFs. I wish I had taken screenshots, the conversation was hilarious!
32. I used to have this image as my profile photo on Facebook. You would not believe the number of men who actually complimented me on my sexy physique.
33. I wish I was kidding. My regular photo has never attracted that many suitors!
34. I once fancied myself a singer. But my dream was crushed on my 18th birthday. It was during a Supertramp concert. The guy in front of me left because he couldn’t stand it anymore.
35. Ginger says hi! (My first tabby cat.)
36. "This challenge is stupid," Teddy says. (My second tabby.)
37. I don’t like when people sugarcoat things with me.
38. I have not had time to open a book in a few weeks. I miss it!
39. I could have done it today, but I was too busy writing for this darn challenge!
40. Thank you, Judey Kalchick, for ruining my evening!
41. I still like you, don’t worry.
42. I am so excited about the release of The Auroras & Blossoms Haiku Anthology! What a fantastic collection!
43. Silence is the noisiest sound in the universe.
44. Solitude is wonderful.
45. I would love to go back to Syria...
46. I took my most “famous” photo there.
47. Too many thoughts to share, not enough fingers to type them.
48. I sometimes think I am the funniest person on the planet.
49. One of my favorite jokes is this one: When you don’t have the right, take the left.
50. It sounds a lot funnier in French, my mother tongue.
51. Don’t leave a comment saying that you don’t understand the joke. Just pretend it’s hilarious.
52. Speaking of French, did you know that I taught the language to adults for 17 years?
53. I was often the youngest in the classroom. My students were 20 years older than me on average.
54. My favorite things to do during the Christmas-New Year period? Staying in my PJs and making / eating crêpes.
55. Yes, the real ones. Not the lame pancakes. I’m French, don’t push it.
56. When I arrived in Canada, I tried poutine because I wanted to fit in. I still regret this decision. Even lamb brains and artichokes taste better.
57. And I hate lamb brains and artichokes!
58. Just like I hate Mondays.
59. (Yes, like Garfield!)
60. Ginger says hi again.
61. Tell me your age without telling me your age.
62. My answer: My first cell phone was a pager. It looked like the one in the show E.R.
63. When someone called you, you had to find a payphone to listen to their message.
64. My first real cell phone had a battery that lasted 10 days on one charge.
65. Do you remember how expensive texting used to be?
66. And my goodness, the 160 character limit was a pain!
67. I know how to rewind a cassette tape.
68. With and without a pencil.
69. Didn’t you find radio stations annoying in those days? They always put commercials in the middle of songs to prevent you from recording them!
70. Can we settle this once and for all: Is tomato a fruit or a vegetable?
71. My mother wanted to call me Cendrillon (Cinderella in English). In those days, you couldn’t just pick a random name, so my parents settled for Cendrine.
72. Thank, goodness because I am a tomboy. I have not worn a dress in 35 years.
73. Cendrine is the alternative spelling of Sandrine.
74. Sandrine comes from Alexandre, which stands for "defender / protector of men".
75. The word “men” is to be taken in a broad sense here, of course. I am just sharing a definition, not picking favorites.
76. Sometimes, I like animals more than humans.
77. Is it a bird? Is it a plane?
78. Wait, what?
79. Or maybe it’s a fly?
80. My sentences are getting shorter.
81. I’m hungry.
82. I will grab a madeleine right now.
83. Did I make the madeleine? No, I bought a batch at Costco.
84. I thought they were on sale, but as always, I didn’t read the label properly.
85. I love Costco!
86. By the way, here is another joke.
87. It’s lame. But I’ll share it anyway.
88. I tell people I visit Sweden every time I go to Ikea.
89. See, I told you it was lame.
90. But I see you smile, anyway.
91. Maybe I should share a GIF of Céline Dion now?
92. Here you go, this one is among my favorites.
93. Oh, and here is another one.
94. Online, all roads lead to GIFs of Céline Dion.
95. The madeleine was delicious.
96. I secretly stalk the internet.
97. Almost done!
98. Entry 98.
99. I can do it—like Nike.
100. That’s all folks!

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Cendrine Marrouat is a writer, photographer, podcaster, blogger, anthology editor, and the co-founder of Auroras & Blossoms and A Warm Cup of Cozy. She has authored and co-authored more than 40 books, including The Train: A Short Story (2023), In Her Own Words: A Collection of Short Stories & Flashku (2022), After the Fires of Day: Haiku Inspired by Kahlil Gibran & Alphonse de Lamartine (2021), Rhythm Flourishing: A Collection of Kindku and Sixku (2020), Walks: A Collection of Haiku (2019-2020), and In the Silence of Words: A Three-Act Play (2018).

Cendrine's work has appeared in many publications. She is the creator of the Sixku, Flashku, Sepigram, and Reminigram; as well as the co-creator of the Kindku, Pareiku, Vardhaku, and Hemingku.