Willow Sonnets

It’s three nights before Christmas eve and the downtown crowd is huddled in pockets of fragmented laughter and music of yester’ year’s carols. But when you close your eyes, it’s like everything fades into silence and murmurs. You instead feel the vibrations of the trains departing from the stations below your feet. The vibrato of the caroler’s instruments an vocal chords. You feel the patter of the falling snowflakes and muffled footsteps…

“Lola?” Her cold fingertips is placed on your shoulder. Lightly grazing your skin and goosebumps form on your neck.

“H-Hi Jessica.” You avert your eyes from meeting her deep browns and instead fix your focus to some thick black substance stuck to the side of your shoe. Jessica picks up your chin to face her and you grasp it. Hoping for her to not let go. Of old times in middle school when you protected her from bullies. Shared Lunches and love for vampire lore. Lost time in the back of the library between Greek mythology and Traditional Folklore. You two dreamt of embrace but fear to commit sacrilege in the eyes of who? The head Librarian who kicked you two out due to improper ‘lady-like’ behaviour? You trace her hands over your lips to map the past. Do you remember? You want to say but it never leaves your lips. You touch hers but get glimpse of her survival. Her drunk father that broke her mouth when he found out about you. Still in this moment you want to erase the pain and clean the slate. But you know that scars are words of the past. Mere symbols of experiences and the healed wound of mounded fascia weaved into her book. You lick your fingers and read those pages. You were those pages. You even continued to turn those pages from a far in fear that he would put an end to her character. Sonnets etched at Amesbury under the willow tree for a few minutes. Leaves sheltering you guys from the world as you curled into one another. Exchanging tastes of Tamales and Patties. Cream and Mocha caressed into her cardigan and my FUBU hoodie. Us breaking your glasses. You hope she is the sentimental type and kept the broken spectacles because you obviously would. When you walked her home, you kissed her before you hit the corner and see her off disappearing behind the door where raging Spanish ensued behind the door. Never to see her again. Until a month later, she comes back possessed and you are unrecognizable.

But here you are. In the middle of Dundas Square. Together.

“Funny running into you.”

“Is it?” You fumble your words but you press your lips shut to stop words from coming out.

“Yeah, I haven’t seen you since middle school.” Jessica sighed.

“We all have our paths I guess. Life, you know.” You avoid eye-contact.

“Yeah. Life.”

“So, How’s… The family?” Your words linger in the cold curled mist.

“They’re fine… My dad… He passed so…”

“Oh… How do you feel about that?” You feel happy for her but they to not let it show. But you can’t help but think this is why she’s still alive.

“It’s okay. I couldn’t feel any happier.” Jessica laughed.

“Gosh.” You sigh holding your chest laughing in relief.

You get a glimpse of her chest and see she’s wearing a pendant with a broken circular glass. “What’s that.”

“Oh this… You know… Happy accident.” Jessica said cheekily.

“Oh really now…” You say leaning into her but a breath away.

A man comes up behind her giving her the coffee and she pulls seconds of heaven away, “Here babe. Who’s this?”

“Oh uh. This is Lola. An old friend from middle school.” Jessica tugged at her hair with her fingertips.

“Hey.” You say shaking his cold, ashy, calloused hands.

“Sup. Nice to meet ya. Jes, you ready to go?”

Jessica nods, “Sure. Hey maybe we can exchange numbers? I’d hate to lose touch.”

“Sure. Of course--”

The boyfriend interrupted, “-- You know maybe another time we’re gonna be late. C’mon.” He nudged her.

You watch her get pulled away like Amesbury all over again. Watching her get swallowed into the dark. Never to be seen again.

~~~

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