Walls

Once upon a time you lived inside my head, now just a memory I feel for you instead. Hallow as night you build your guard, only to give hints at who you truly are. So many walls that you care to admit, fear and shame is what doesn’t let you give in. You value yourself to the point of arrogance, give no ish unless to educate or care for someone indefinite.

I trust you day after day but scared of the truth, that like all the others, you will deny me too. So strong and unafraid to be hurt like before, you dealt with a lot and now you close your heart to others. Focus on you like the world says now, toxic positivity leaves us pushing others to infinity. I cant deny you after all says it’s okay, you have proven to be right for me and yet we cant try love because as I lay down my walls for you, you still have them up.

Everyone has them. They use them for protection. From the heart to the flesh, you protect what has been broken with the innocent at bed. Your inner child crushed and heart turned cold. People let you down and now you strengthen that fake crown. The king of the land you once knew, you build an empire of you and that’s cool. Left in the dust all that betray you, leaving room for the few that beseeched you.

Wishing for greatness as we all do for ourselves, caught in a hole where you cant get out of. Feelings of regret and wishing to start a new, no way to stop life and have you set this way. Try to start over or change your mistake, things become out of control even when you attempt to save face. You see everyone else that’s leveled and in their journeys, overcame their hurdles and living on their own with no formalities. These walls that push me back and away, after me thinking I’ve broken through this horrible space. Prerequisites and boundaries that are set in place, life takes a hold even when you sleep to be safe.

Mr. North Star

Upon the lights of beauty, you show up and make me think truly. I question parts of life and you remind me the power of time. I look to the stars and dream of you, only to see that you might be my permanent friend and not my boo. A moment in time that broke my expectations, hungry for more with lasting impressions.

You keep me grounded and force me to stay, you fight to breakthrough my habits and keep to myself at the end of the day. Something special that we shared I cannot forget, another memory embedded so I don’t live with regret. I wonder if you were sent by me long ago, where my heart first broke and life felt torn. Doing your thing while the world kept spinning. Walls strengthened while mine was torn down. Evolved into a final form with stats unimaginable.

Here now and I was starstruck because of what you could provide, something that made me breathe new life. Before you were a version from a dimension different from my own, at a position in life that was a dream for me that has now been shown. I want to keep you safe in my pocket because you continue to influence. Show me a me that live through horror and continue to stay on purpose, just to be the friend that I had called for. The friend just for me.