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Motivation and Achieving Goals; But What's The Cost?

Is it possible for the most effective motivation tactics to be the worst course of action? If so, where is the line?

By Peter ThwingPublished about a year ago 3 min read
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Motivation and Achieving Goals; But What's The Cost?
Photo by Hello I'm Nik on Unsplash

When considering motivation, is efficacy the best metric to use to judge/compare them? Can there be effective and powerful motivators that are dangerous, destructive, or chaotic? And how do emotions help (or hinder?) us in attaining a better understanding of this conundrum?

For example:

-In sports, humiliation might be a very powerful motivator.

-In parenting, letting children learn the “hard” way may often be the most effective way to learn a lesson.

-In relationships, passive-aggressiveness can be a very effective tactic to achieve a particular outcome, when viewed in a vacuum.

-In life, “hitting rock-bottom” is often the fastest way to learn a lesson that translates into a change of action or attitude.

-Likewise, fear, revenge, hatred and other “negative” emotions can be very effective tools that heavy influence thoughts, beliefs, values, and behavior.

Therefore, if all of these examples are “effective” at achieving a particular outcome, is there something else, maybe more important, than the mere efficacy that should be used as a metric to determine the “best” path to take? Or, is arriving at a particular goal by any means necessary, including very “efficient” or effective means, the most important thing?

Personally, I would imagine that everyone is unique in how they are best-motivated on an individual level. For example, what works for one person, might work for someone else but in a different way, or it might even have the completely opposite effect. So, there might be more than one path that leads to the same outcome when considered in a vacuum, but context may greatly influence how “good” the outcome truly was, despite the original goal being achieved.

Therefore, what seems to be true, across-the-board, is the level of caution that must be exercised to avoid potentially disastrous outcomes.

Consider the following example of the last expressed concept compared to what tends to be the more-common occurrence:

-Parent-set A compares child A to their peers/other siblings with a tone that suggests extreme-disapproval, but with the “pure” intention/goal of achieving an outcome where the actions of child A are different than they have been in the past.

-However, Parent-set B acts with their initial goal to be to first understand the child’s feelings, desires, and perspective, including the limited information the child may have access to, then tediously works to persuade the child they might be more interested in the outcome/consequences from this other path of action by helping them to understand the potential undesired outcomes/consequences from their original desired path, either in a more tangible or hypothetical way, depending on the individual.

One might be able to infer the potential danger-to-come after someone acts in the way parent-set A chose.

Some undesired outcomes may include tertiary consequences such as: disassociation, feelings of regret, apathy, a disregard for authority, a desire to intentionally rebel against it as a desperate attempt to maintain and exert some faint degree of control.

Contrast that to the second part of the example when considering the tone and behavior chosen by parent-set B. One may likely conclude the potential outcomes to be a plethora of respectful and loving actions as a response, over a longer period of time, once the child ”felt” heard, understood, and that the parents were their ally in favor of their individuality and personal expression of freedom and control.

Now, both of these might result in the same initial outcome of action of the child altering, or not altering, but which parent-set is going to maintain a healthier relationship with their child in the long-term view, after thousands of cumulative instances of such chosen actions?

We may not always know the ”best” path to take, initially. However, the following things seem abundantly clear. Slowing down, maintaining humility, pursuing understanding, obtaining common ground with regard to the current situation, and the summation/totality of potential outcomes, of all potential behaviors paths, and working together toward an all-inclusive ideal end, are the most important things to weigh and focus on when choosing a path of action to take, and this may overflow into the topic of what is the “best” tactic to generate motivation.

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About the Creator

Peter Thwing

Husband, Father, Talkshow Host/Podcaster, Server. Born in 90's both Millennial and Gen-Z. I love learning and have an open mind. I'm looking forward to having my mind changed amid the process of trying to better understand people/the world.

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