CAUTIOUS LOVER P.2

ISTAKES IN RELATING TO THE OPPOSITE SEX

And let's be honest, there are such unrealistic relationships that can only happen between two people of the opposite sex.

At the end of the day, there is even a reserve of natural energy. You'll notice that there are some things you can't say to people of the same gender. You have to share them with another gender.

So there is evidence everywhere. Among your classmates, the girls you always find easy to talk to are part of what I mean.
your female roommate. A girl you can always talk to at the gym.

That's not all. There are several female mutuals in love on LinkedIn and Twitter as well. These things are beautiful and amazing. This mixture of friendships makes the art of our world colorful.
However, there are mistakes people make all the time in this case.

MISUNDERSTANDING ATTENTION OF THE OPPOSITE SEX

Men are more likely to think that a woman is interested in him if she is friendly, and women are more likely to believe that a man is not only friendly but attracted to her. less likely to notice it.The evolutionary explanation for why is intriguing. The rationale is that to maximize the chances of a man having sex, one should assume that a man is interested when he isn't and that a woman doesn't end up with the wrong man. To do so, you have to downplay the interest you feel from men.

Now I can see the guy overdoing it because it happens all the time. The guy meets a woman who is friendly to him and maybe even flirts a bit. Of course, this often leads to funny moments when the man hits her and realizes that she completely misunderstood the signal she was sending. The other half is the part I'm not sure I'd buy. Admittedly, some women are completely clueless about the signals men are sending. I think we're pretty good at sensing if we have one. We men aren't exactly subtle, no matter how cool we try to play. Due to the desperation and frustration of finding a lover/partner, many single people often overreact to attention from someone of the opposite sex, especially if that person is attracted to them. , if you're a woman, you can read a lot when a man looks at you twice. Even if you're a man, if a woman is sitting next to you at a social event, he might think she's calling him.

These advancements have one of two effects:
Depending on whether or not we are attracted to that person, we either like them and react positively, or we think they are pushy and run in the opposite direction.

I've seen cases of single people mocking themselves by misinterpreting attention and clinging to someone like Hill. Here are some practical rationalizations that single people show.


Did she ever fall in love with her?

"Yes, but he talked to me for more than 15 minutes. He didn't have to talk to me that long. I'm sure he likes me."

"But you didn't see the way she looked at me. Women don't look at you that way when they're not signaling. She must want to see me. "

This misunderstanding of attention is one of the main reasons why many single people find it difficult to develop meaningful relationships.


WE PUT UP WITH TOO MUCH AND HANG ON TOO LONG IN A RELATIONSHIP.

Giving too much without getting anything in return can make you suffer more than your partner.

But building a lasting relationship requires more than compatibility.

No two people are the same, so even the most compatible partners don't always agree. Therefore, sometimes giving, sacrificing, and compromising is necessary to resolve conflicts and maintain healthy relationships.

What happens when you concede too much while your partner does nothing?
The answer is simple.
After all, you are not satisfied. Giving too much without receiving anything in return can make you suffer more than your partner. So how much do you need to give to a relationship to avoid being the only one who gets hurt?

There is no general answer to this question. It's not easy to determine exactly how much is too much and when to take no action to prevent imbalances in your relationship.

Every experience is different, so we need to analyze the situation and come to a contextual and beneficial conclusion.

Women often spend too long in relationships with men who abuse them and act like their puppets. The man-made her believe that he was serious about marriage and then started dating someone else to show it off. I was. The man continued to abuse the relationship as he pleased.

Instead of ending the relationship immediately, the woman kept bringing him back and didn't even bother to express her displeasure with his behavior. She fears doing something that will make him go away forever. This is one of the mistakes women make in relationships. If you are in a relationship and are treated rudely, lightly, or unkindly; this is a good sign that you are hanging up for too long and putting up with too much. If you want him or her to change, you don't know much about human nature...as long as it's okay for him or her to treat you poorly. There probably won't be any major changes in his/her behavior.


WE'RE NOT ALWAYS GREAT AT SPOTTING RED FLAGS IN RELATIONSHIPS

Romantic relationships aren't always a bed of roses. It should not be a thorny, prickly bush. It's often said that relationships take a lot of effort to survive. Conflicts and fights are also part of love. While this is all true, we often fail to realize that fights and arguments are warning signs of a toxic relationship.

Just as any healthy relationship has its ups and downs, it also has its ups and downs. Where there are quarrels and strife, there is also happiness and intimacy. This is what separates them from unhealthy relationships. So, if your relationship is feeling tired rather than perky, you need to stay calm and pay attention to what relationship toxicity looks like. A toxic relationship can be defined as one characterized by constant conflict, disrespect, and a lack of harmony. A partner with toxic tendencies seeks to undermine the other with a single-minded goal of total control over the relationship and their partner's life. This leads to conflict and a lack of mutual support

All relationships go through turbulent and troubled times, but in toxic relationships, animosity is prevalent. The negative moments far outweigh the positive.

When a perfectly healthy relationship goes through ups and downs, one or both partners may become more prone to toxic behavior. I often see single people in relationships with bad decisions written to them. When our emotions pour into a situation, we tend to lose perspective on things. Someone once told me that I have zero emotional IQ, but it's good to remember. These juices flow within you. These romantic concepts can start spinning in your head and you can quickly lose perspective.

Here are some of the red flags you should be aware of.

-Different family upbringing:
No two families indeed are the same, and there must be differences between any two families. But always look at the basics.
What values ​​did your family pass on? What kind of relationship do you have in your family? Some families are very close, while others are not.

- Various cultural interests:
You may be oriented towards classic interests while she is oriented towards more fashionable and contemporary interests. - Different attitudes towards children:
Some love them and want to be with them, while others prefer to admire them from a distance and don't like being around their children. important to

-Mental Life Priorities:
Human individuality should not be underestimated or denied. That's why I believe everyone has the right to set their priorities in life.
When a person in a relationship puts their mental life above others, this is a real red flag and should not be ignored. lowers the opponent to their level instead of lowering them to your level. I've seen it over and over again.



WE ARE PHYSICALLY INVOLVED TOO QUICKLY AND HAVE GONE TOO FAR.

Again, we Christians have allowed the systems and philosophies of the world to permeate our thinking about the physical aspects of human relationships. Romans 12: 1-2 says that instead of conforming to this world, we should be changed by a new spirit. If we are casual about having sex before marriage, we are being forced into the shape of the world. Being overly affectionate at the beginning of a relationship can make the relationship short-lived. Hugs and kisses are so important in love.
However, turning your physical affection completely to the right early in a relationship can be a red flag.

It could mean that you're overcompensating for other, more important aspects that a healthy relationship lacks.
It's also possible that your partner is abusive. Every situation is different, but it's worth considering what's left behind when the dust settles and you want to continue the relationship beyond the honeymoon.

Physical affection distinguishes between intimate and platonic relationships. This is an important part of the equation that brings people together, along with trust, healthy boundaries, and open conversation.

But too much affection early in a relationship can be a red flag. It turns out that they are more likely to divorce than couples who are not married. "It's pretty well known that excessive affection can be a sign of lack of communication or trust, or that a quality relationship is overcompensating." No. Considering having an incredibly intense relationship in terms of affection, it's really hard to maintain.

Rather, it's normal for the passion to fade after you've been together for a while, and there's nothing wrong with that.
"Most people are fine with having a honeymoon period and an end to it. It's usually a gradual one, not a dramatic one," Stott said. "But if it's too one-sided from the start, it can feel like the honeymoon period ended dramatically when it started to wane. You're going from extreme to extreme."


If you want to remain pure in your sex life and think of yourself as the only person God has for you, or if you want to think of yourself as the Christ when you are single. Then you certainly can. There is nothing impossible about it.

However, doing this requires a discipline not found in many singles, a discipline that goes the extra mile to minimize physical contact. You can't trust your body's chemistry. It's very powerful and once it's set in motion it's very hard to find the discipline to keep it under control. The secret is to keep the electricity at a low level by controlling physical contact.




WE RUN OUR LIST OF REQUIREMENTS FOR OUR RELATIONSHIPS AND JUDGE OTHERS TOO QUICKLY AND SELFISHLY.

I used to have a list of things I wanted in men. The list is divided into mandatory and non-mandatory. Well, it's not a bad idea.

One of which he added to my must-have list.
It must be someone who enriches my walk with God and enables us to do more effective ministry together than we could do separately. Isn't it wonderful that our God is big enough to handle all our differences and idiosyncrasies? I'm not looking for an exceptional Christian who behaves like a Christian. Indeed, we all have the same biblical principles that we apply to our lives, but within those principles, there is plenty of room for individuality and individuality.

However, many singles seem to have a long list of potential date or partner requirements and are a bit preoccupied, perhaps in response to the many failed marriages around us. They seem to be checking on you to make sure you meet their needs. They approach this area of ​​life the same way they would when buying a car.

What features do they have and what are the benefits of these features?

Keeping certain key guidelines in mind when meeting and dating people can help you avoid making overly emotional decisions. It's too much to do.


THINKING ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN BEING ALONE.

We indeed need community, but it's not true that being lonely is the worst thing in the whole world. please. There is a big difference.

Most people fear loneliness. Because it means loneliness for them. They have not learned to fill their time in ways that make being alone worthwhile and refreshing. I have learned to love my solitude, but not always. did not. That was when I learned to enjoy God's presence and stopped equating loneliness with loneliness.

Loneliness is an emotion, an attitude. We cannot get through this life without some experience. But settling for anything as a substitute for loneliness is a big mistake. There are worse things than loneliness, but by the grace of God loneliness need not overwhelm or conquer you. God can take our loneliness away and turn it into a beautiful, fruitful, and productive time with Him.

Realize that being alone doesn't mean you're a social misfit. When we are in despair, we act irrationally and unprincipled. We settle for anything when we feel the overwhelming need to have someone close to us.

Also, be aware of your need for social interaction and plan good things. But you don't have to date. Please reach out and share your time. Not the idea that you'd be better off going on a date, just enjoy seeing them as they are because you can't be with them.