Fish-Head Drinking Isn’t a Shandong Rule. I Lived There 40 Years and Never Saw It.

Last winter, in a small restaurant in Jinan, a fish stew in an iron pot had just arrived. A Shandong man turned the fish head toward me and asked, “Is fish-head drinking really that fierce in Henan?”

I said, “Yes. Three for the head, four for the tail. The waitstaff even has to know the toasts.”

He was stunned for a moment. “I’ve lived in Shandong for 40 years. How come I’ve never run into it?”

Someone next to him laughed. “Because you haven’t drunk in southwestern Shandong.”

That sentence is basically the answer. Shandong has no single fish-head drinking rule. The custom belongs to formal baijiu banquets in the Huang-Huai region and the Central Plains. Henan, northern Anhui, northern Jiangsu, southwestern Shandong, and southern Hebei all have similar variants. Henan is especially systematic. If you haven’t encountered it in 40 years in Shandong, that’s normal. If someone else has encountered it in Shandong, that’s normal too.

I. What fish-head drinking looks like in Henan

In some parts of Henan, when the fish comes to the table, whoever the fish head points to is the honored guest. The fish tail points to the host’s main companion. Then “three for the head, four for the tail” begins. Three cups for the fish head, four for the tail. Then there is “five for the belly, six for the back,” or “five for the belly, six for the back.” The numbers vary from place to place, but the logic is similar: use the parts of the fish to pull the whole table into the drinking.

At higher-end restaurants, when the waitstaff serves the fish, they need to know whom the fish head should face. The manager or the server can recite a round of toasts:

“The fish head shines, good luck arrives; the fish head faces you, wealth and honor. Drink this cup of fish-head wine, and promotions and fortune will all be yours.”

“The carp is fragrant, the carp is fair; little sister wishes you a raise. The carp is fair, the carp is fragrant; promotion and fortune, all the way to the center.”

“The fish head faces its pair, great wealth and great honor; brother toasts you first. The fish mouth opens, good things come in twos; brother toasts you again. The fish head shakes, the whole table joins; come on, let’s share the joy and all drink with the honored guest.”

In short videos these lines sound like comedy. At some Henan dinner tables they are part of the service. The host wants face. The honored guest needs to be lifted up. If the server recites it smoothly, the whole table looks good. At those tables, the fish head starts the ritual. The cups follow.

II. Why fish-head drinking is so fierce in Henan

In traditional Henan baijiu banquets, cold dishes come first. Cold dishes with baijiu: crisp and cool against the sharp burn. Even when snow is falling, cold dishes still come first. Why? Because the drinking session is long. If hot dishes come too early, they go cold as people eat, and the texture is ruined. By the time the hot dishes arrive, the drinking session is already in its later half.

The order of hot dishes also has its rules. The first is chicken, the second is fish, the third is “big meat skin.” Big meat skin is pork with preserved mustard greens, served with steamed buns. It is equivalent to a staple, and Henan people call it “bringing out the meal.” The fish sits between the chicken and the pork. Once the fish-head drinking is done, once “three for the head, four for the tail” is finished, the honored guest and the host’s main companion exchange pleasantries and give the final tone to the matter at hand. Then the whole table drinks a cup together. The drinking stops. Everyone focuses on eating.

People with poor tolerance cannot make it to this stage. This is what people mean by “not getting to eat the hot dishes.”

So fish-head drinking in Henan is not casual. It is the climax of the drinking session and also its conclusion. Like the finale of a performance: once it is done, the curtain falls.

III. Why some people in Shandong have never encountered it

Shandong is too big. In Jiaodong (Qingdao, Yantai, Weihai), the drinking table leans more toward beer, seafood, and home-style food. Baijiu is drunk too, but the rules are not necessarily the Central Plains set. Jinan, Zibo, Weifang, Linyi, and Dongying each have their own style. In southwestern Shandong (Heze, Jining, Liaocheng, Zaozhuang), close to Henan, northern Anhui, and northern Jiangsu, fish-head drinking and “three for the head, four for the tail” are not unfamiliar. But southwestern Shandong is only one part of Shandong.

What is most discussed about Shandong drinking tables is actually seating order and the main host and deputy host. Main host, deputy host, main guest, deputy guest, third guest, fourth guest. Who raises a cup first, who leads the drinking, who offers a cup, who wraps up. This set of things exists in many parts of Shandong. Fish-head drinking is only one possible segment, not a province-wide rule.

Fish-head drinking is tied to formal baijiu banquets. Family meals, casual get-togethers with friends, young people’s dinners, class reunions: many do not follow this at all. Even if fish is served, the fish head is just pointed at the main guest as a gesture, or no one bothers. If you do not often attend business banquets, official receptions, weddings, or formal banquets back home, it is completely normal not to have encountered it in 40 years.

An ordinary Shandong person may have drunk a lot of liquor but never experienced a complete “three for the head, four for the tail, five for the belly, six for the back.” That does not mean he is not a Shandong person, and it does not mean Shandong has no fish-head drinking. It only means his life does not sit inside those rules.

IV. Fish-head drinking grew out of Huang-Huai baijiu banquets

Spread the map out. Fish-head drinking looks more like a banquet custom of the Huang-Huai Plain and the Central Plains. Henan is the most typical. Northern Anhui, northern Jiangsu, southwestern Shandong, and southern Hebei also have it. Further south, west, or north, the rules change again.

Why did fish-head drinking grow in these places? Because they share an agricultural base, banquet traditions, and baijiu culture. Carp is a common ingredient. “No fish, no banquet” is an old saying. Baijiu is the lead actor at formal banquets. The fish head facing the main guest is respect. The fish tail facing the main host’s companion is accompaniment. The whole table joining in is liveliness. This logic grows easily in the Huang-Huai region.

But even within the same province, not every city, county, or village is the same. Some places do three for the head and four for the tail; some do four for the head and three for the tail. Some places drink only one cup for the fish head; some really drink three in a row. Some places have the server recite the toasts; some have the main host do it himself. When people say “the rules are about the same,” they only mean the general framework is similar. The details vary enormously.

So you cannot make “fish-head drinking” a label for Shandong, and you cannot say every restaurant in Henan does it. It is a custom of a region, a type of occasion, and an era.

V. Why the internet makes it feel like fish-head drinking is everywhere

Short videos and algorithms love extreme samples.

An ordinary family dinner: no one films it. A casual friends’ gathering: no one watches. But a table around a fish, a server rattling off toasts, the honored guest drinking three cups in a row, the whole table egging him on. This scene has conflict, ritual, and a regional label. Traffic comes naturally. So “Shandong drinking table,” “Henan fish-head drinking,” “Anhui rules” get pushed again and again. Watch enough, and you think it is everywhere.

That is how a local custom becomes a provincial stereotype. Watching 100 fish-head drinking videos does not mean 100 dinner tables are like that. Ten Shandong people around you not encountering it does not mean Shandong does not have it. The internet magnifies a local thing into a whole, turns a skit into provincial character, and turns an extreme case into a stereotype.

VI. Fish-head drinking is fading now

The fish-head drinking custom is becoming less common.

Drunk-driving laws, bans on alcohol in official business, and workplace safety have shrunk the space for hard drinking. Health awareness has risen; many people substitute tea. Young people do not buy it and dislike drinking rituals that feel like obedience tests. Changing customs mean many places advocate thrift and civility at weddings and funerals. Restaurant service is changing too. Servers used to have to recite long toasts; now many restaurants only say a symbolic line or two.

The fish-head drinking you encounter today may be a simplified version: the fish head faces the main guest, the main guest drinks one cup, everyone joins for one cup, and it is over. Or the main host just says, “Fish-head wine, come on, let’s all take one,” and then everyone continues eating. Drinking from “three for the head, four for the tail” all the way to “five for the belly, six for the back” is becoming rarer.

VII. Back to that iron-pot fish stew

In that small restaurant in Jinan, after the Shandong man heard all this, he took the fish head and said, “It doesn’t matter who the fish head faces. Eat first. It gets fishy when it’s cold.”

The table laughed and kept using their chopsticks.

Fish-head drinking changes by region, occasion, and era. It is not a factory setting on a province’s ID card. If you encounter it, follow local custom and drink in moderation. If you do not, you do not need to doubt whether you are a fake Shandong person. The fish head can point wherever it wants. The meal still has to be eaten.