This is one of the most chaotic things I’ve done in my life. Not just as far as beverages go, but in general. I’m willing to try pretty much any food once, and that extends to beverages as well. There’s no way I can justify what I’m about to do.I’ve been curious about these drinks for years. I’ve seen them on Amazon, but would always talk myself out of trying them, for completely obvious reasons. I have some predictions about which will be the most repulsive. Ranch is topping the list. There’s literally no way it can be good. I’m not really into Ranch dressing. I prefer Caesar. That being said, I wouldn’t want to try a Caesar dressing soda either. I can’t decide if these drinks would be better or worse without carbonation. It doesn’t matter, because they ARE carbonated and I WILL try them all. The minutiae of it all is pretty irrelevant at this point. What I WILL say, before even trying them, is that I appreciate that they’re all made with cane sugar. I appreciate a nice cane sugar soda. I know people will judge me for trying these. I understand that I will be persecuted and my beliefs will be brought into question. I’m not doing this for ME, I’m doing this for YOU and I’m doing this for US. I hope you all appreciate this sacrifice I’m making, even if you yell at me for it. OK, now let’s get into tasting and reviews.

After trying the SAP! drinks, I vowed to try more beverages that have a cause or positive message attached to it. I’m looking into more brands that do this (and I’m taking suggestions if you have any). Companies aren’t usually transparent about where their money goes or where the ingredients are sourced, and a lot of us don’t really question it. Why would we? We were raised in a climate where corporate brands have been vying for our attention, and it’s easy to miss smaller companies that are trying to do better. It’s tough deciding what brands or companies to spend your money with, when it really comes down to it. I don’t know that there’s necessarily a right choice in some instances. There’s constant stress and grappling with spending the money you earn, and how to spend it (unless you’re rich, but I don’t believe rich people have any reason to read or relate to anything I write). I even have some skepticism when I do find a brand that seems to hit the right marks with me. What are they hiding? What are their values? Sometimes the lines are too blurry to make a distinction between pandering and genuine mission statements. Do you ever feel that way? It seems like inclusivity and awareness are just brand benchmarkers now. But again, the lines are pretty blurry. It’s rare that I find a brand whose owner has transparency about their motives, so it led me to seek out something and report back.

I remember having one of these Zipfizz tubes being passed to me by a family member. I was complaining about being tired and not getting enough sleep. We had to attend to a serious matter. I went to a corner store gas station, but they didn't have my usual choice of energy drink there. My cousin tells me, "Oh! why didn't you say anything? I have one of these with me. It's cool, take one. Just mix it with water."

What do you know about sap? Before trying these drinks, I knew little to nothing about it. In my head, I always confused it with maple syrup. I’m aware that these two things are in fact, different, but I never had a reason to seek out any answers. I guess it was just one of those things I was comfortable in my confusion of. I knew it was sticky and came from trees. That’s as far as my knowledge went. So when I saw the Sap! variety pack of maple seltzer, maple soda and sparkling birch, I thought I could use this as a learning experience.

Recently, I was thinking about alcohol. I don’t drink, and the main purpose of my beverage blog is to introduce products and recipes that are not alcohol-focused. I don’t enjoy drinking, because I don’t like the feeling of being hungover, and I don’t enjoy the post-drinking haze that sets into my brain. I feel foggy, uncoordinated and like every motion I make through the day is going to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Alcohol effects different people in different ways, but I actively choose not to have it as part of my life. What other people do is none of my business, and I have no opinion on what other people choose to do with their bodies. That being said, I’ve noticed an influx of drinks lately that tout having relaxing effects. I’ve tried a couple of them (reviews to come later), and my overall experience with them is that they simply make me sleepy. Tired and relaxed are different feelings for me, and I like to keep them separate. I’d yet to discover a drink that made me feel effectively calm without loopy side effects where I felt too tired to even walk across the room in a straight line. I think those beverages have a time and place, but that feeling isn’t “relaxation” for me. If I wanted to feel like that, I could just take two melatonin and watch cartoons until I rolled over and passed out face-down in bed. I wanted to explore something different.

Bolt 24 is Gatorade’s newest addition to their lineup. Honest to God, every time they come out with a new anything I’m like... hmm... I wonder how much longer they’re going to keep doing this. How many times can they try to reinvent the hydration wheel??

Banana is a pretty polarizing flavor. I know that. Unfortunately, I have a wide range of flavors I like, including artificial banana. I know it’s odd but I won’t stop liking it. I always loved when my mom bought the variety pack of Laffy Taffys to pass out for Halloween, because while my brother and I rifled through the package to save a few for ourselves, I knew my little banana babies would be safe. No one else wanted them. Honestly, of all artificial candy flavors, banana might be my favorite. It is consistent if nothing else. I always know what I’m getting myself into. I can’t always say the same for other flavors. Banana flavor is mellow and creamy. I’d heard of the Milkis sodas before, but never tried them. The idea of carbonation and milk is enough to send me over the edge. I don’t care for cream soda, really, but I do enjoy the very occasional ice cream float, so I’m at a crossroads I guess. I believe in my heart that creamy and carbonated can be a combination done correctly, if restraint and precision are exercised.

I fell for the marketing and advertising and I bought a grande size of Starbucks’ newest Canadian exclusive beverage: the Iced Honeycomb Lavender Latte. I was told that it's new, exclusive and that it is only around for a limited time... and only in select stores across Canada. So, I guess you could say that I made an impulse purchase on Honey Lavender Iced Coffee. The coffee has only been available since June 25, so I was able to try it pretty early... which means there aren't that many reviews out yet. So I was pretty shocked to take my first sip and realize that... it's not sweet.

Apart from being highly delicious, eating popcorn offers various health benefits. This American popular snack has more iron compared to eggs and spinach. Additionally, this crunchy snack has low calories, fat-free, and sugar-free when on a diet. It is no wonder that people eat popcorn at breakfast, when watching a movie, or when out in the park. Below are reasons why not to just eat any popcorn but Popcornopolis.

There was a huge display for Bang energy drink at my local supermarket, so I grabbed a couple of them. They always looked intimidating to me because of the labels stating that people sensitive to caffeine should be careful. There’s also a warning on the back that says it’s meant to be consumed by “healthy” people. I’m not sure whether or not I’m “healthy.” I have good blood pressure and I work out regularly, but I don’t know if those are the kind of parameters they’re looking for. I smoke cigarettes too, and I eat processed food on occasion. I don’t fucking know what healthy is. I don’t even know if that’s an attainable thing, let alone a requirement for consuming a drink. But whatever! I grabbed Blue Razz and Sour Heads. My favorite flavor is sour/tart, so I was hoping these would be lip puckering sour with carbonation and, of course, caffeine.

I have a lot of questions about serving sizes. I’ve always had them, but I started thinking about them again when I bought the Monster Hydro Water Energy Drink (Blue Ice flavor). The flavor is GOOD, tastes like a blue raspberry, not super sweet. It isn’t carbonated, which has its pros and cons. On the positive side, it’s nice to just drink something smooth without harsh energy drink carbonation. On the negative side, it’s not carbonated, so there’s not much to keep me, you, or anyone from drinking the bottle quickly.