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Chicken Shwarma

For your ensalivation

By L.C. SchäferPublished 3 months ago Updated 3 months ago 3 min read
Chicken Shwarma
Photo by Sandie Clarke on Unsplash

I am going to preface this by saying I have no idea how authentic it is.

It's one I've found on a reel somewhere and adapted it to my own taste.

I love it because:

  • it's easy
  • it's bombproof
  • every plate is always clean after

Here we go, then. As ever, we must leap almost immediately into the recipe. Be forewarned, there is a fair amount of chucking, throwing and wanging. Buckle up:


  • 5-6 Chicken thighs
  • Juice of one lemon
  • Salt, pepper
  • 1 red onion
  • Spices and whatnot


  • blob of easy garlic
  • 1tbsp each of paprika and thyme
  • ½tsp each cayenne, turmeric cumin. Cinnamon optional. (I hate cinnamon, I suggest leaving it out.)

Here's what I recommend:

Pitta breads


Plenty of salad

Bell peppers (translate: capsicum)

Gherkins (translate: pickles)

Dressings. I like garlic mayo and chilli

Sides: fries work! Skinny skin-on ones. Well-seasoned. More salad. Cous cous is OK, but not my personal favourite.


200-220 ish. If you operate in Farenheit, I can't help you. I'm sorry. No one can. Reconsider your life choices.

If you intend to cook this beaut straight away, you'll need to turn the oven on, first. Dim the lights. Tell it what you want to do. Stroke the knobs a little.


Time to prep your thighs, baby. Chicken thighs can be a bit fatty, so you might want to trim some off. I don't.

Once they have only the preferred amount of fat, drizzle those sexy mofos with olive oil and the juice of a lemon. Give them a really good scrunch of salt and pepper.

Slice up a red onion, and chuck that in

Now throw in your spices

Get your hands in there and massage it like you forgot its birthday and you're trying to make it up to it. Pour it some wine as well, you asshole.


You can marinate this baby for a couple of hours or so in the fridge if you like. If you do that, take it out a bit before cooking so it can come up to room temp before wanging it in the oven. I don't like doing this, because who has the effing time? It also just feels weird leaving chicken out of the fridge.

Pack this lot into loaf pan. Tight, if possible. I line it with foil because I'm lazy.

Bake it for 45-55mins


When it comes out, it should be very juicy.

Toast your pittas and slice them open (not a euphemism).

Spread on a nice fat dollop of hummus. Go crazy and use a red pepper or sweet chilli one. There's even a beetroot one which would probably work.

Pile it up with salad.

I like to char the peppers, slice them and chuck them on top.

I also chop up the gherkins and scatter them on.

Now pile up that chicken on a chopping board (careful, as aforementioned, JUICE,) and slice it up. It might start falling apart. This is fine. Wang it on the pitta on top of all the salady bits.

Drizzle some of the meat juices over it. (hur hur, meat juice.)

Be generous with your dressings!

Plate it up with your beautifully seasoned skin on fries, more garlic mayo to dip them in, more hummus (definitely) and more salad if you want to be all healthy and shit.


Thank you for reading!

Please let me know if you give this a go.

We have it at least once a month. I've started putting a pack of emergency pitta breads in the freezer so I can make this pretty much any time we fancy it.

If you enjoyed this recipe, I've done a few others:

Put it in your mouth and tell me you you love me (Strawberry and White Chocolate Cheesecake)

Level Up Your Curry Night (the easiest flatbreads in the whole world, bar none. No yeast, no resting, no proving.)

Mmmm, Eggs Benny 😋 (hollandaise for dummies)


I suck at food photography, so I nicked a pic of Unsplash. I'm not convinced that's even chicken. Whatever, close enough! Next time I make it, I will update this piece with pics!

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About the Creator

L.C. Schäfer

Book-baby is available on Kindle Unlimited

Flexing the writing muscle

Never so naked as I am on a page. Subscribe for nudes.

Here be micros

Twitter, Insta Facey

Sometimes writes under S.E.Holz

"I've read books. Well. Chewed books."

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Comments (12)

  • Shirley Belk3 months ago

    Sounds delish!

  • The Dani Writer3 months ago

    Facts: You could prolly retire on a decent chunk of change "re-writing recipes" by request. Yours are a heck-of-a-lot more entertaining and would garner a large viewership. Side note: One of my nephews who arrived here and worked for Subway had a customer ask for "gherkhins" as a topping, and he was completely befuddled. This country does need a jargon-buster (another lucrative opportunity for you...just sayiin'.)

  • Cathy holmes3 months ago

    Haha. That was such a fun read, and then recipe sounds delightful.

  • Sandra Matos3 months ago

    What an entertaining read! I'm definitely trying this! I love the way you use humor. You make us laugh while sliding the info in. That would be a good way to write text books! A spoonful of sugar and all that! I'm coming back to report on the outcome of my attempt.

  • Joe O’Connor3 months ago

    I really like how you don’t have to scroll for ages to get to this recipe haha😄 Simple, straightforward, and funny too. Good tip about charring the peppers! “ the the effing time”- I think an extra “the” snuck into that line L.C.

  • Hahahahhahaahhahaa gosh you're hilarious! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • Caroline Craven3 months ago

    I laughed way harder than I should at: Get your hands in there and massage it like you forgot its birthday and you're trying to make it up to it. Pour it some wine as well, you asshole. EPIC!

  • “M”3 months ago


  • John Cox3 months ago

    This is the funniest recipe instructions I have ever read, LC. Talking serious belly laughs, here. Which is probably for the best since my wife and I are vegan🤪.

  • Alexander McEvoy3 months ago

    Damn I love Shawarma! It's become all but the official food of my hometown and I cannot but smile at that. Absolutely love eating them! And your recipe sounds amazing, LC! I might have to try it out some time

  • Sounds tasty. Sounds like even more to be cooking with you in the kitchen, lol.

  • JBaz3 months ago

    Now I have my meal for the night. Thank you.

L.C. SchäferWritten by L.C. Schäfer

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