Oh Anxiety...what have I done to You...!?

I have never felt so downcast having to see my self go through the ridicule of a shaky mouth on an interview of a life time. Hell "No" heaven must have failed me, speaking to myself...I said. I ought to get this job; oh I was so prepared. I read, read and read repeatedly preparing to give the Best. Indeed, I failed myself. What a shame I thought to myself.

Little did I know that to be " Forewarned is to be Forearmed.....and "to be in form is forethought"... Anxiety has killed me... oh! I read....why me!??

Haven found myself unexpectedly tongue-tied or feeling uncomfortable in the midst of my interviewers …I lost grip of myself...oh! why me!? I could not explain.

With the disappointment of the day, I came out all worn-out on myself...I never could believe such an embarrassment on the first day of my interview. God help me, I said to myself downcast.

So, that very getting home, I talked out my experience with a close friend of mine...more like a senior mentor that just moved into the neighborhood …the then Ikaptang Layout, Boki Lane and that was all for it.

Why or why didn't I talk this out with Bro. Henry before my interview. I kept saying to myself ….Bro. Henry was a senior graduate of psychology from the University of Calabar, Cross River State, Nigeria. That was my Saving Grace.

After, talking with Bro. Henry for a long time that evening, He told me he noticed I had issues with pinning my eyes eyeball t eyeball with conversation and that was my first flaw or sign of Shyness He said terming it "Social Anxiety" .

Social Anxiety!? I said in shock.....and Bro. Henry continued....Yes, s" Social Anxiety" immediately, I became enmeshed …going further he asked do I normally "sweat in my palms when I talk to adults or people I respect socially"!? O h yes, I loudly said.

Confused the more, I couldn't ask for less....I'm I sick or something I said!? Not at all, he responded....You are not just used to a certain lifestyle.

Immediately, he asked me...how did you grow up and that was it!....I blew the cat from cover...I had a very challenging childhood I said....amazed with all that was coming into my ears. Out of curiosity I asked again, "how does my childhood affect my ability to socialize as a person or lead to social anxiety!?… OG Henry laughed as he was fondly called in the yard.

Oh God! what is wrong with me I kept thinking inside....from shaky -mouth to eye contact during conversation to childhood experience? This most be "the story of my Life: A must hear...I kept listening.

How exactly does my childhood experience affect my confidence in social gatherings? was definitely my next...

Bro, Henry as OG had it all for the day...and I needed every piece of it to get done with this thing called "Anxiety" and get ready before my next interview...but was it so fast to be resolved?... I wish, all I thought at the moment.

Yes, it can he said but it needs a bit of time and practice to get it right once and for all. That was all I wanted....I went ahead all hills high...Bro. Henry, it's I and You today I said....I don't feel like going home anymore I exclaimed..Cheering me up he said....Bro. Henry, you won't understand it's like I never knew myself all this while...22years into my life? Oh I was lost....Why have I never heard it!? I kept saying inside ….I lost a golden opportunity today of an Oil ring company job worth a life time with a car to go for it was unbelievable!

…stay tuned and find out...what Bro Henry said about Childhood....

By Albin Tawo