Those That Die Young
If you know someone who died young, a lot of people will tell you that 'it's God's plan' and 'the universe just picked a flower in full bloom'; nobody talks about the garden when it's lost it's flowers though.
The Size of Your lips changed
Please let me go Caleb, you are not here, and I don't want you to be. Not white and not black. I want home to come get me, so I can heal in an environment where nothing you showed me exists, the bad feelings don't exist either. I have never felt more alone, and you only kick me around in these dark days, after you broke my brain. I don't know what is real and what is not real anymore, that is why I demand I go where I know it's real. Where I know an XL male shirt, doesn't fit someone with my build.
The Old Songs Are The Best
The Old Songs Are The Best is a phrase that many people use when they get older. I usually reply that at any given time 95% of music is at best forgettable , and it’s up to us to find that 5% , and I try hard to do that.
I was watching a documentary about coming of age in the nineteen nineties told by a bright young girl with a bright future and a hit signature show on NBC. Not bad for a seven year old. She is candid, honest ( sometimes embarrassingly so I would imagine). The information and film footage is gritty and real. The presentation is pure and captivating. It’s like watching a train wreck, YOU CANT STOP. Except this train wreck is being operated by all your favorite teen stars from the 90’s.
I Meant to Call You
I meant to call you. I suppose that is easier to say than it is to actually do sometimes. The calling part I mean. We live in a world where technology has taken over our entire lives and even with the ability to call someone right at our fingertips we text, Snap or Zoom instead.
My worst Mistake
I didn’t mean to do it. I was angry. I don’t know what else to say to make it better. Or even less scummy. She was beautiful, someone I could have dreams about. Instead of working in sales, she would’ve been an amazing model. But if she’d done that, I wouldn’t have had a chance.
my dead flower, mid
my dead flower, mid a scene written by ds setting/// it was silent. bent over by her bath tub , showed an indecisive Vera staring at her phone, a text from Brent, an old lover, about a conversation they had earlier.
Living with a superficial person
Some years ago I let a friend and her boyfriend move into my family home. I was a single parent and it was getting hard keeping up with all the bills, and I had a small procedure at the time that was quite possibly going to be a very cancerous journey, but I was lucky, one of the very few that are.
Friend or Foe
As the day that anyone who knows me, knows is a very uneventful day for myself. With my mother at work, and we all had Christmas the day before, when family was family and not jealous people, who I will never understand. This is why I have been creating my own family, and sadly, your not in it when you use me or anything my last name is able to get, the ones who acknowledge my truth, which is not theirs, and even though most of them have accepted it, when there was nothing to gain. Seems like once their is something to gain, suddenly the ones who should of never stopped caring are against me, which they know won't work, so it must be their cast offs who genuinely believe I am here as competition. Like WHAT competition, you delusional bitches?
A Life-Changing Perspective
It was just another regular Tuesday for me at college and I was enjoying my art class. It was an almost four-hour-long class as it was every once a week. The sun was shining and surprisingly it was a pretty day outside for the season of fall in October 2018. My family friend texted me as we used to attend the same college and had offered me a ride to his house as our homes were pretty close by and his mom or dad would drop me home. He was on medication and he was limited to driving from school to home and work due to a drinking and driving incident. He had a breathalyzer attached to his steering wheel and he had to breathe into it before he would start to drive and while driving from time to time as he had explained to me.
Anxiety, Depression & the Un-Social Network
So, I guess we can call this wonderful platform we find ourselves on one of the many groundbreaking products of the ever-so connecting, divine deity known as media or the social network. This omnipotent power that I, as I’m sure most of you, have used to repeatedly like, share, and comment away every night since its creation, has thread its way into our hearts and lifestyles. Consequently, as the vast amount of love and dislikes spew in from strangers you would never think twice about if passing by at the local diner, we began to feel an unexplainable urge to create more content and more adventure. It’s so much, it’s everything in our time and I loved it, until I just felt small.
The Forbidden Fruit
I just want to acknowledge the men that were in my life during the eve of endless destruction. Words cannot express the thoughts that enter my mind, that you five were a cherished gift from The Most High. I was so blessed to have five awesome men that were willing to stand by me under an umbrella of pain and suffering. Your thoughtfulness and tenderness surrounded my soul with love that was so conclusive, that the tears are burning my pillow.