Shreya Kelly
Bio
My mom is not just narcissistic but she has anxiety and is a helicopter parent. Because of her, I developed BPD, Complex PTSD, anxiety, depression and Peter Pan Syndrome. Growing out of these mental conditions is next to impossible.
Stories (19/0)
You Should Look For Negative Qualities In Others Too
We meet so many people in our life. Some are rude and some are friendly. Ever wondered why some people are rude? I analyzed all the people I interacted with. I classified the people into two categories: good and narcissistic. Good people are empathetic and friendly. Narcissists are rude.
By Shreya Kelly7 months ago in Psyche
What Can Greed Do To You?
Alicia is a very greedy woman. She was married and has a daughter Lydia. She was unhappy in her marriage as she is never satisfied with what she has. She thought that her neighbors Paul and his wife were an ideal couple. She didn't know that Paul was a con man who cheated on his wife with multiple women. He sensed that Alicia was interested in him. He gave her too much praise and attention. He told her that he divorced his wife. She believed him and divorced her husband. She married Paul within a month after her divorce. She was madly in love with him.
By Shreya Kelly9 months ago in Poets
Mirror
I have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). In October 2021, I was checked in a mental health institute. However, a couple days later, I went against my psychologist's advise and got discharged from it. I remember how unhappy she was. She said, "When I desperately want to help you, you are refusing help". If I meet her someday, I will tell her, "You are very good at your job".
By Shreya Kelly10 months ago in Confessions
Extremely Selfish Father
I was raised by an evil and narcissistic father. Instead of treating me like a human being, he treated me like an insect. He is egoistic and has absolutely zero empathy. He felt that he was superior to most people because of his English knowledge, profession (professor), etc. I think he turned out to be so selfish because of his own childhood trauma. He firmly believed that good education (and a good job) would get him out of the misery. He was obsessively studying all the time. He didn't stop it even when I was born.
By Shreya Kelly10 months ago in Families
MY DAD PLANNED MULTIPLE HEISTS
My father is the most selfish person I know. My mom is wealthy. He married mom only for her money. He asked her to abort me when she was pregnant. She decided to keep me. When I was 4 years old, I disturbed him while he was studying. He kicked me in my belly. I flew for a while before falling down. I narrowly missed hitting my head on a wall.
By Shreya Kelly10 months ago in Poets
MERMAID'S POOL IS FROZEN
I am a mermaid. The ice is a metaphor for all the people who were stone hearted (in my life). Because my pool is frozen, I was surrounded only by ice. So, I found emotional support only through ice. But I also clawed these stone hearted people in hopes of flying away in a parachute. I wanted to fly away especially from my mom. She is not just stone hearted, but she is also a psychopath.
By Shreya Kelly11 months ago in Education
I was Breastfed by a Psycho
All these days, I narrated my story from my eyes. But I am not able to heal from my childhood trauma if I am doing it. For a change, I want to narrate my story from my cousin Ramya's eyes. I chose her because she is the most empathetic person in my entire family. From the below paragraph, "I" means Ramya and "Shinie" means me.
By Shreya Kelly2 years ago in Beat
HAVING BPD IS A BLESSING IN DISGUISE
Most people don’t know why their company means a lot to me or why I obsess about them. They don’t know that the only obsessive thought that kept me alive was the dream to escape my own MOM. That thought meant the world to me. So, I sacrifice anything for it. Your company means a temporary relief from mom’s racing thoughts. All this happens unknowingly to me in my subconscious mind. I am not even aware of it till today. I don’t know if I am healing or traumatizing myself to process my trauma. Going back to the topic, mom not only traumatized me with her words but she also traumatized me with her threatening looks (also also body language). I was scared for life (natural human instinct). So, my BPD subconsciously told me “she won’t kill me. My life is not in danger. Don’t loose your mind”. I didn’t know that I have such intense BPD. I guess the severity is proportional to amount of trauma. The more trauma you have, the severe your BPD manifests itself. So, though people traumatize me (as I unknowingly see my mom in everybody), I still kept going as I also see a friend in them. The irony is that, I see both a friend and enemy at the same time. I can split that rapidly. I am both mature and immature at the same time. When mom was passing rude (or unpleasant) judgements on me, my subconscious mind tried to numb me from the pain. As a defense, I pretend to not hear certain things you say to me. You would think that I don't obey the rules. But you were not aware of the constant emptiness in me. I can't control my impulses. For regular people, eating food is like listening to music. For me, eating food meant a huge distraction to the trauma that I craved for (subconsciously). So, I eat so fast. You wouldn't understand why I eat like I was starving for 10 days.
By Shreya Kelly2 years ago in Psyche
newest philosophy
For this blog, I will narrate my story and parallelly narrate philosophies. As I have been telling, mom likes to be in control (like psychopaths). She ended up yelling at me at the end of every conversation. She either demands ("why are you not exactly like Havisha?") OR sadistically belittles me (brushing off my honest answers inhumanly).
By Shreya Kelly2 years ago in Confessions
