Joey Renee
Bio
WORD ART LIFE
I always say that words imitate art and art imitates life. Writing isn't just a passion its a hobby. Creating is enjoyed as much as a good read or a real thinker of a poem. Poetry is my first love and the pen is my mistress.
Stories (11/0)
Dietary Addictions
If you are as much of a foody as I am or at least if you enjoy the food network then I am certain you are aware of Washington DC’s plethora of fine dining, fast food, and vending truck options. Even if you are from the city, the shear volume of options can be as overwhelming as picking a movie or show from Netflix during an anxiety attack. Throw in any dietary restrictions or allergies that you or your family may have and finding a restaurant or choosing a place to order dinner from becomes internal panic. Luckily, I have done all the panicking for you. As city native and a person that is both allergic to milk and eggs. I have gone through all phases of grief in losing the ability to digest something. I grew up in a household where food was prepared with blood pressure and diabetic restrictions in mind, so I have a bit of insight. Many of us within these household where there are restrictions lies a few family members with no restrictions, so where do their options lie for dining. Again, I have done all the heavy lifting for you. As a native I have dined almost everywhere but that is not much relevant to you in this moment. You want to know where my family can eat if we visit the city tomorrow. This list is relevant to this very moment. All these restaurants are currently open regardless of the pandemic. If you adhere to whatever requirements, such as face masks or other protective equipment or measures you can grab a seat and enjoy. I know that you are wondering So, what makes me an expert? I have indulged on both sides. Although may allergies developed later in life, there were many digestive issues that I dealt with early in life as a child. I did not become aware that I was even allergic to milk or eggs until 2015 while enjoying an entire cheesecake to myself for my birthday, greedy I know but we all have our moments. That was the moment I stopped trying to eat what I wanted and started listening to what my body did not want in it. So, over the past seven years I have been in this city searching for safe, delicious options for my family and me. The first thing I did was perfect my in-home recipes and alternatives to know what great vegan, or non-diary meals taste like. If you can cook this transition is easy peasy. The hard part is taking your family out to celebrate or meeting friends for lunch because sometimes you just want to or must eat out. So, whether you have food allergies, dietary restrictions, or are just trying to eat healthier you may want to save it in your browser or grab a pen to jot down a spot or two to visit the next time you are in DC.
By Joey Renee3 years ago in Feast
Father of All Dildo's
Let me start by saying that I do not embarrass easy. When I was younger there were many moments where the worst-case scenario happened. I cut the cheese during a test, walked a mile from the restroom with tissue on my shoe, had a boob pop out on a roller coaster as well as on the beach during a volleyball game etc.… but you get the point. By the time I was an adult, few things made my cheeks flushed. Weeks were spent compiling a list of embarrassing moments and though a lot of them were gold no one of them were cringe worthy. It was not until I was arranging my closet for the summer and a few boxes fell on my head that it all came back. Bursting into tears with laughter I declared it the one. Before delving into it let me share the 2nd place and third. In third is Bumble Bee Suit. 2nd place is Fast and Furious Repast, and first place is Father of All Dildo’s
By Joey Renee3 years ago in Confessions
Poetic Noir
As lovely a evening as any in Dilano’s Speak Easy. The atmosphere was always spot on from what I had heard. This is probably why my sisters chose this spot. Glenda and Stella felt like it was time I get out of the house. Brady was five and Tony had been gone for three years. Honestly I knew it was time I come up for air. My sisters understood this. Our mother baby sat him for the night. So I wouldn’t have to pick him up until morning. Earlier’s reluctance made them duck out soon as we hit the scene. Still I was enjoying my evening with the girls. With a final sip of Noir I was off to mingle. Frankie and the boys set was on fire tonight and not a glass was dry. Dilano made sure of that as pin up style baristas filled glasses through the floor. Of course what he passed out was bootleg wine most of which was fine considering you get get it nowhere if you didn’t already have it. Still fermented nicely but not my favorite by a long shot. His Pinot Noir was the beez neez. So I enjoyed what he was great at while taking in the sites.
By Joey Renee3 years ago in Humans
Thrift Meisters!
Technology has changed how we purchase groceries, buy gifts, even how we cop new threads. Along with this surge has come a major drift to people mainly doing online thrift shopping. My standpoint is simple. The best thrifting is done person to person or store to customer. If you live in a city as do I then in person thrifting is at your fingertips. For those of you in more isolated areas you may find a decent number of in person steals through garage sales or local farmers market. Now even though I stand mostly opposed to online thrifting you can find the items you want online. I thrift more closely to antique’s road show, meaning that I never really know what I am looking for until I find it. Fashion thrifting is more magical that way. Also the people running these online site’s set their prices as if they have all studied fashion, owning every Vogue magazine since their founding 128 years ago. Meaning they know what brands are trending, vintage, and even what looks are in, while the older woman that prices tags at Value Village will simply sell that mildly scuffed Luis Vition Bag for 12.99. This is the magnitude of finds you see. The one area of online thrifting I see no harm in is electronics, but even with that I go refurbished because you can get a warrantee for that. All that I am saying is a little homework goes a long way but running into a thrift store and catching an insane steal is like a shot of adrenaline. Join me as I break down how I come across crazy finds, not far from where I live.
By Joey Renee3 years ago in Lifehack
My Bloody Valentine
Another mundane Monday, I thought sitting on post for my concierge style security job. Sunday was Valentine’s Day though it felt like any other. The rain began to pour as tears rolled down my face. The state of my life was wearing on me. I was frustrated and stressed to the brink. Even my plans of making love were ruined by nature. Nature that by this point was giving me a lot more than I could handle. By 7:30 the light cramps I was experiencing had beefed up to a strong ten. Assuming fresh air would remedy things I heated my coffee, went out front to have ease my mind with a a cigarette. In an instant I began soaking through pads and even my clothes. It wasn’t close enough to break time to just walk away so I filled my underwear with tissue and paper towels because by 8:30 I had soaked through all of the sanitary napkins packed for an eight hour shift. Half an hour later clots began coming out of me. In a panic I ran to the CVS and purchased super overnight maxi pads and several wipes to clean up the blood. As I walked more and more pieces came out, each one larger than the previous. None of what was taking place made any sense. I was bleeding as if were raped or sexually assaulted, neither of which were true. The rain seemed to be pouring even harder by this point. It was 10:00 pm. I called everyone from my mother to my husband, even my 18 year old. Each time I stood blood poured from my body as if I were cut. Pain shot through my body with every piece that came out. Spasm for spasm. Only I knew they were contractions by this point. My relief came at 11 and without a word me and my rainbow paneled Raincoat were out of the door. In the truck with my husband without so much as a hello, Take me to the Emergency room! I spat. What! I shouted, certain he'd asked me again. Before I could reply I pressed down to brace for another release of a very large clot. Grimacing through the spams he said nothing. With a hard turn he headed for Greater SE Hospital. Upon arrival I sat for almost an hour before being approached by registration. When they came to me it was only to inform me that the system was down and to sit tight until they can check patients in. This was only more upsetting because time was being wasted. After an hour and a half I threw in the towel and decided that Greater SE was not the way. Begrudgingly we gathered my things and drove to GW Hospital.
By Joey Renee3 years ago in Families
Abra Cadaver
There I sat four rows behind my girl Danny in mortuary science. Last semester we took Biology of the Human Body which was the prerequisite to this class together. So at least I wasn’t bored alone. Professor Senad was cool but I still found myself annoyed with yet another professor that feels they were in the profession to re-sculpt young minds. To me they should be working on the minds we already have, then cultivate from there, but who am I? Even as an adult the student mentality warranted juvenile dictation. Senad was different in every way except in that regard. He was the youngest professor in South Eastern and he was still old enough to feel as though re-sculpting was still on the table, even if it were only for the clones or the mindless. This school was a straight up battle of the clone wars. There was nothing wrong with the class but I was trying to build on my business. Studying wasn’t exactly something I had much time for over the last few month and to be honest I’m falling behind. The midterm was in two days and the only thing I had was a page and a half in notes. Danny wasn’t doing too great either but probably knew a lot more considering she had already taken a nursing program. Either way I had a plan. Professor Senad was going to have four cadavers with separate medical issues. He was going to pair us up in teams of five and have each group conduct an autopsy on them to find out what each person’s cause of death was. My plan was simple. Senad was having the cadaver’s delivered late this evening so instead of sneaking in tonight I’ll wait until about four or five in the morning, sneak into the basement take a quick peak at them and the files that came with each. Senad is always working super late so I doubted that he would bother taking them home with him. With that I continued scribbling songs in a notebook titled Class Notes. As I gazed at a beautiful blue sky and Senad’s baby blues, taking in both beauties separately. Even though I revered sexuality to be as fluid as attraction I had to be honest, he was indeed handsome. Tall, slim build, sandy brown hair tapered in a flattering cut, he wore a cute reading glasses that somehow made his eyes even more luminous. He also had an accent that I believe was Russian but he spoke in a tone I could tell most weren’t used to. He wasn’t loud brut or off putting. His voice was gentle yet firm, backed with knowledge and eloquence. Normally he is threaded from top to bottom in cliché college professor gear. Khakis, a dressy button up of some sort, even in the summer, but today he wore black jeans and a gray polo. I was actually surprised. Others have said not once has anyone ever seen this guy dressed down.
By Joey Renee3 years ago in Criminal
Stoners Guide To Streaming
Stoner’s Guide to Streaming The Ultimate Collection When it comes to streaming, I enjoy movies across a wide range of genres. From as far back as a teen I have always been heavy into the late-night comedy of Judd Apatow style films. From Half Baked to Jay and Silent Bob. I have the perfect lazy day, kick back and light one list. This list is broken down into five categories, Comic/Adventure, Sci-fi/Fantasy, Rom-Com/Sit-Com, Late Night/Raunchy and Delightfully Dark. Each category will branch out from movies to shows. Each can be found on the following streaming sites. Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime and Disney Plus. I will also give up a decent amount of movies and shows found for free on Tubi as well as Peacock and Pluto. All offer you the chance to go premium with no commercials but if you are a TV buff from the good ole days then the few you see while streaming aren’t as bad as the 10minute commercial breaks we endured the 90’s. Bill and ted’s Excellent adventures and Bogus Journey followed by the new Bill and Ted is a must. Harrold and Kumar is one I have grown to love. It is a fun stoner trilogy. Now this is coming from a woman that still enjoys Weekend at Berny’s
By Joey Renee3 years ago in Potent
Wonder Woman
As a kid you seemed fearless as if nothing was too much to handle. This astounded me, watching you do countless acts of kindness no matter the situation or the hoods in which we resided. Sometimes it is difficult for children to view their mother as the toughest person you know in a two parent house hold. Even with the security of dad I always knew we were just as safe with you. Protected in a way that went beyond the mama bear and baby cub analogy. A real life Sarah Conner hell bent on protecting the very platform in which our innocence fell. Given strong values and upbringing we were taught by you that it isn’t where you live buy how you live. Where ever we lived or rested our heads was home by your creation and design. A mother of five daughters, you taught me compassion. Helping fellow neighbors and feeding the elderly in our apartment building, never for thanks, always from the heart. In home or not you were there for many. At thirteen I was hospitalized constantly for a heart issue that was not life threatening per say but unique in its treatments. I had an artery that was a little longer than needed so about three inches hung off. So every time that I, a teenage girl had anxiety my heart rate would jump to as many as 300 beats per minute. This needed to slow down so that my heart would not stop from excursion. Therefore an ambulance was needed almost every time this happened, to stop and restart my heart. All of this went on while you were helping to extinguish several other fires. Caring for your baby girl who became a diabetic young due to an infection that shut down her pancreas all while being there each of us in whatever way needed. I just want to say thank you not just for all you have done but for showing me humility and how to contribute to humanity as a whole. Thank you for the ability and drive to fight and push for my goals with the integrity not to knock someone down to get mines.
By Joey Renee3 years ago in Families
Under The Umbrella
Believe it or not finding my one inspiration was a daunting task because as an artist myself I find inspiration in all I cross paths with. The hunger and passion I see is motivation enough. The growth between interactions from those I have come to know simply through the art. It touches my heart in such a way I had to share. First thing that came to mind were all of the writers and poets I know, having a connection made it was easiest especially with shared passion. There was already an understanding considering how highly we revered the written word. Every writer’s first love was a pen. Giving nothing but adoration and love to all of the beauty that music brings without having to be a creator within the craft. It has been humbling to meet musicians who write lyrics, as well as those that play instruments stimulate that euphoric part of mind. Pulling you inside of their heart and mind only to create its intended back drop of admiration. Broadening the scope, on the artists that have inspired. Many came to mind, scanning through the many that I have watched blossom either in person or through online platforms. From sketch artists to sculptors and painters that know there is a certain something that brings us all to life when we see, touch and feel their work deeply. From the owner and founder of Karibu book store in Iverson Mall to a woman I worked with in a mall for two years sharing stories of how we would one day make it. We all share this driving force of emotion. Therefore, several black creators and innovators came to mind when I sought out the perfect candidate of inspiration
By Joey Renee3 years ago in Motivation
Abra Cadaver
Now You See It The Professor stated that part of our midterm was going to be conducting autopsies on cadavers to find out their causes of death. My plan was simple so there was no need for worries. I continued scribbling songs in a notebook titled Class Notes. A few pages over I began to actually take notes for the written exam. I don’t have anxieties about testing so that didn’t bother me. I was just a bit behind on anatomy and procedure. The next morning I arrived on an empty campus at 4:30 am. I didn’t really want to do this but making very little money at the coffee house and lack of space was taking its toll. I needed at least a full 60 credits to work under an internship, one of which would be paid. To me, any step closer to being without four roommates was a step in the right direction, even the wrong one. Ducking through the clearing I noticed a midsized truck leaving the loading dock area. After it turned down 7th Street, I scurried down the loading dock ramp to the side door. After about 10 minutes the door was open and I was in. The Chambers were at the end of the hall. Which happened to be pitch black since the school had not yet opened. I passed the Botanical Lab. Pressing my hands together I shuddered. It was indeed cold but it was the darkness that send a chill up my back. Inside I clicked my flashlight on, facing it upward on top of the file cabinet. The freezer had about 20 compartments that held cadavers for both medical and mortuary science. Each Cadaver was in a white body bag. There were only about 13 cadavers in the drawers but I still had to be quick about it before janitorial staff arrives for their 6:00 shift. It was already 4:49 and a lot of time had been wasted on that stupid delivery truck. It didn’t even have anything on it! Just a plain white nuisance! Now I had to move a lot quicker than planned. The first nine weren’t labeled but appeared to be together. The last four were for our class. It was 5:10 and I was definitely cutting it close. The first one was a woman that had a long battle with cancer. Second was a man who had a long battle with Diabetes. The third was kind of a weird case. It was a woman with no previous health issues. I dropped the file as an ominous feeling crept over me. Pictures of both were quickly taken and I moved on to the next one. Halfway down an arm fell out wearing the same watch as Professor Senad. Pulling faster out of fear his ID badge fell out and my heart stopped. With both hands trembling, I opened the rest of the bag. The truth was in his eyes. As soon as I saw his piercing blue eyes, I knew it was him. This was beyond comprehension. What was going on? Run! No you are on camera! I began hyperventilating, shaking uncontrollably. “Think Sabrina! They’re going to throw you in jail and get you a court appointed attorney because you are too broke for a real lawyer.” I would have to do a quick autopsy on the professor or get my affairs in order for a life sentence. With both options being terrible I swallowed hard, grabbed a scalpel and made a small enough incision to feel around and see what I could find out. There were no markings on his body to assume he was strangled, Nor exit wounds suggesting he’d been shot, or entrance wounds to indicate he’d been stabbed. There was no evidence of a struggle. His clothes were intact. The room didn’t appear out of place. How did Senad die! Frantically scanning his body my eyes darted while looking around crazily to ensure that no one saw me. Then placing my left hand on his side to keep him in place I felt the weirdest thing. There was a stitch up the side of his body. It felt as if it went up about half a foot. Turning him on his side revealed a fresh incision that was in fact stitched up quite professionally if I do say so. Was he killed for a kidney I thought while cutting through them? Slowly I entered. Nothing really stood out beside the displacement of his Kidney’s His liver was also intact but his Kidney was in an odd positioning. I tried feeling around this went on for a minute or so before I felt something odd. Unable to make sense of it I felt around it knowing it did not belong. It was hard and was not attached or connected to any organs. This is becoming odder by the second I thought as I pulled the cover of a small leather cash drop bag. Speaking in the 3rd person I began stutter. There were at least 20 stacks in it. Immediately I tried reasoning with myself aloud. “Twenty thousand dollars! What should I do with the money? You should definitely take the money.” There was also no way I could go home at this point I thought. It was 5:23 and way passed time to go. I gathered all of the loose files that fell, closed every shelf except Senad’s. There were surgical supplies out and all kinds of proof of what took place just now. Startled I jumped from the noise coming from the loading dock door. Someone was in here! Sliding the shelf closed without so much as a peep I clutched my bag and ran for the green house. It was the only room with an alternate exit. It was the glass roof or the bolted side door. Which is funny because the original plan was picking the lock versus running pass it for the readily unlocked rooftop because it is insanely high. Every sound grew closer until gathered the courage and slid down the slanted rooftop, down the water drainage system to only an 8 foot drop sliding on what appeared to be a small black notebook as I sprang to my feet.
By Joey Renee3 years ago in Criminal
