Wonder Woman

As a kid you seemed fearless as if nothing was too much to handle. This astounded me, watching you do countless acts of kindness no matter the situation or the hoods in which we resided. Sometimes it is difficult for children to view their mother as the toughest person you know in a two parent house hold. Even with the security of dad I always knew we were just as safe with you. Protected in a way that went beyond the mama bear and baby cub analogy. A real life Sarah Conner hell bent on protecting the very platform in which our innocence fell. Given strong values and upbringing we were taught by you that it isn’t where you live buy how you live. Where ever we lived or rested our heads was home by your creation and design. A mother of five daughters, you taught me compassion. Helping fellow neighbors and feeding the elderly in our apartment building, never for thanks, always from the heart. In home or not you were there for many. At thirteen I was hospitalized constantly for a heart issue that was not life threatening per say but unique in its treatments. I had an artery that was a little longer than needed so about three inches hung off. So every time that I, a teenage girl had anxiety my heart rate would jump to as many as 300 beats per minute. This needed to slow down so that my heart would not stop from excursion. Therefore an ambulance was needed almost every time this happened, to stop and restart my heart. All of this went on while you were helping to extinguish several other fires. Caring for your baby girl who became a diabetic young due to an infection that shut down her pancreas all while being there each of us in whatever way needed. I just want to say thank you not just for all you have done but for showing me humility and how to contribute to humanity as a whole. Thank you for the ability and drive to fight and push for my goals with the integrity not to knock someone down to get mines.

Growing older I saw you through mature eyes, beginning to see you as the women that you are and not just as a parent. Remembering stories of the many obstacles you faced coming up, from being stabbed at 14 to stepping out to work and earn a wage; cleaning silverware for neighbors. I knew then that you were the epitome of inner strength and endurance. Every story passed down from aunts and uncles that are here or gone has proven this true. At seventeen I was with child, earning a paycheck all my own. It was in that moment I saw you as an adult and an equal. Every day you would go to work with a smile on your face and a song in your heart ready to earn a dollar for your family at a place where some decide to let their husband make a way. It gave me a peek at the integrity and character that makes you the woman you are.

Over the past three years I have seen even more truth in that. Losing dad was the hardest thing my family faced. He was the heart and soul of this family and your best friend. My only goal was to be there for you in any way you needed. At time you needed an ear, at times where you needed space I would simply text you a heart so that you knew I was still there. If you needed to pour your sorrows I had a beer. Times you simply needed a quiet hug and cigarette I was there with a light to stand and be the company needed. But I pleaded with God because I’d never seen like that. People would say watch out because a broken heart will take her too. I knew that was common but in your case it wasn’t true! Because as strong as you are, after all you have been through that you would rise from the ashes of grief and sorrow to create a new life, way and story. One for yourself because all the times you almost or could have given up. I know that you still miss him every day but you still found a way to turn your loss into alight for those that walk along the path of pain, helping them to not be as broken as they were before.

In 2008 when Dad had the stroke you continued to work, not to avoid the truth of his condition but to continue care for the family. Making sure that your insurance continued to cover his medical expenses, procedures and treatments. For almost a decade I watched you leave to work overnight shifts for dad’s appointments, double shifts to be at his side during procedures, and vacations centered around Dad’s wants and needs to ensure he still felt alive. I watched you place yourself on the shelf, all for a smile, all while maintaining one yourself. How do you do it? I often asked myself. There is just something inside of you that reaches out to those around not as an attempt not to drown but rather to pull them up. We all have our imperfections but that is what’s up. Being a good person is given the highest regard. It doesn’t hurt that you are always ready to fight but not looking for one.

When I told you that I was writing a piece about you, a smile stretched wide across my face at your response. “I am not strong. I am human. I get scared and frightened like the rest and crumble at times I’d rather be whole”. All of that is true mother but your blatant honesty with yourself as well as the action you take regardless of fear makes you the strongest toughest most bad ass person I know. Seeing you react without a second thought. That speaks to the person that you are. Teaching us that no matter where you are in life things will happen and people will hurt you but you can’t let it break you. Even in panic you reacted, like that time the young boy got his hand trapped in the minivan door in the KFC Parking lot. You jumped out the car and stopped that boy from bleeding out before cell phone where someone had to run to a payphone and call 911. I’ve seen you hop a fence with two kids while we ran from dogs on our way to the swimming pool from summer camp. I have fought side by side with you defending my sister, your daughter from her abusive husband’s hand. Flowing you into the storm on any day because you have done the impossible all my life. There is nothing in this world that would stop you from your purpose. An angel with an axe equipped for the task of protecting not just her children but His children. So it is certain that I know if I am half the woman you are I can take on anything life throws my way.