I don’t know what else to do or what else I could say. My heart is heavy. My mind can’t stop thinking about the upcoming hearing. What is believed to be the last hearing. The final decision of who gets custody or what is in the best interest of Chandler.
Today I teared up as I set up your "Big Boy Bed." A full sized, single bed, all for you. Pushed up against your bedroom wall with its little side table and crisp, new dark blue bedding. With the creases still in from where it had been packaged, and two pillows. You had never had two pillows before. I didn't know why it was making me so emotional really, and I felt a bit stupid when your Dad realised I was crying. After all my main goal for the past week had been to get your new room finished. But now with everything nearly done and your new bed all set up here I was, standing in the middle of it all when I should have felt relieved, crying.
I don't think I ever fully appreciated my parents and the home they have given me until the day I returned knowing my stay would be finite and soon ending.
One evening, when my fiance, brother-in-law and I were eating dinner and discussing our parents, something they said had struck me unexpectedly—'we only know our parents as parents, not as people.'
Let’s be honest, there’s nothing better than being a cool parent. It feels like you’re a model for all of the other kids, as well as your own. Still, don’t get caught up in the glory. You can be cool while still acting as a proper guardian for your children and keeping them safe. Parents who get caught up in the fun sometimes happen to forget about the wellbeing of their kids and accidents happen as a result.
Becoming a mom is an exciting time for most and a scary time for all. There are so many questions with little answers. What kind of mom will you be? Will it come naturally? Are you doing what's right? Breast or bottle?
If you’re a teen mom such as myself you know the stares, the judgmental looks we get just going into the grocery store. It’s hurts but hey, that's what we signed up for right? Wrong!
I yearn to know him, so I can Know myself. I want to know why he left. Why he never came to see me. I wonder if he even thought about me, about the new being he helped bring into this world. How can someone just leave part of themselves behind without a thought? A part of them that was molded into the most innocent of beings. I ponder over reason why he would have wanted nothing to do with me. And so I cry at the thought of ever having to confront him. Not knowing my father growing up was a challenge for me; because, it felt like the key to understanding the map of me was missing.
The way we choose to parent influences the manner in which the child perceives the world. For example, are you unconsciously telling your child the world is unsupportive vs. the universe has their back. One of the most effective ways to help deepen your connection with your children is by being present with our mind, body, and soul in that very moment. Being present heightens our sense of awareness and enables us to immerse ourselves in our child’s spirit.
Remember how you used to think as a teenager, “Oh, I’ll never say that to my child," or, “I’ll definitely do that differently,” immensely looking forward to being the adult. I can vividly see myself at the kitchen table, my mother practically force-feeding me broccoli. I vowed never to feed my kids that odious green vegetable. Needless to say, I made broccoli soup just the other night.
For many women, and I know for me, finding out you are pregnant comes with an onslaught of thoughts shortly after seeing that little red line. Many questions come to mind. How will my life change when this baby is born? Am I ready to become a parent? Will I have a boy or a girl? Is labor really as painful as it is made out to be on TV? Among all of these questions, one that lingers and continues to become more and more of a question an expectant mother wants to figure out an answer to is: Should I continue working or become a stay at home mom?
The word ominira means freedom or liberation in the language of Yoruba, and for most of my life it felt like I never had the chance to experience this and it slowly ate away at my conscious until I couldn’t take it anymore and I had to break free, I was sick of always trying to please everyone else, never considering how it could affect my future or all the opportunities I have missed out on because my family said that’s not the right way to do things. There is no one way to do things in life everyone has to travel their journey by themselves. So here’s my story, my journey for everyone to experience.