I have a healthy imagination, a eventful reality, and a very creative mind, I'm here to put it to good use and share my stories with the world, I hope you enjoy my content. Some is real and some is not either way enjoy.
When Suspicions Rise
It is always a wonderful and blissful feeling when you form your first crush on a boy and you want so badly to walk up to him and say hello but every time you try you get the butterflies fluttering in your tummy, your hands get all sweaty, your heart starts pounding, your mind starts racing with thoughts like " what if he does not like me? Or what would he say if I tried to talk to him, you start to shake a little and your legs suddenly feel like they have turned to jelly and one glimpse at him just takes your breath away and the embarrassment you feel when he catches you looking in his direction or right at him. Then from there it feels like an eternity when you finally do build up the courage to go up to him and say hi and it about knocks the wind out of you when he responds to you by saying hi back and it is so cute when it catches you so off guard that when you try to say more to him you cannot help but to stutter a little from being so nervous. You cannot help but to wonder how is he able to stay so calm right now? Is he not nervous at all like you are? Well, that is how it began for Lizzy and Brad. See Lizzy was new in town and Brad was a native born and raised, they just so happen to bump into each other briefly one Monday morning when Lizzy was running late for work and Brad had nowhere specific, he had to be he was just out for a stroll taking in the warm spring sunshine and the mildly warm temperature. Lizzy was in such a rush as she was running down the sidewalk and Brad was off in his mind somewhere not watching where he was walking, they were both on a path headed for a collision. Suddenly it happened they walked right into one another knocking them both to the ground without thinking or even looking up yet they both blurted out " Hey watch where you are going!" Right about that time they both happened to look up and their eyes locked, and for a moment it was as if time just stopped. He gave Lizzy his trademark half devilish smile and she gave him a nervous grin as they both stood up brushing themselves off, they quickly said pardon me and hurried off to get back to what they were doing. At first Lizzy did not give it much more thought afterwards, Brad just brushed it off and kept going. But as the hours ticked away Lizzy caught herself thinking about this increasingly. As the day went on it became the only thing she could think about and it almost upset her to do so. She kept thinking to herself " why can I not let this go? Why can I not move on and think of other things?" Well, another day passed and another and another and no sign of Brad. Until one day Lizzy was out checking her mail and grabbing her Sunday newspaper when she happened to look up and there stood Brad blocking the sunshine from her eyes. All at once Lizzy looked up and said, "oh Brad, what a surprise what brings you to this neck of the woods?" Brad looks down at Lizzy still crouched down grabbing her newspaper and he replies, " oh you know I was bored and decided to take a little walk." The he goes on to say, " I do not live far from you at all." Lizzy stood up and said, " well then maybe I'll see more of you then." and Brad replies, " maybe so " and they both turn and walk away. Well then later maybe just a couple of hours went by and Lizzy was out watering her flowers when she happens to notice just 3 houses down from her there sat Brad on his porch. Lizzy confused and dumbfounded standing there with her mouth wide open thinks to herself, " you mean all this time I've been seeing him in the area and saying hello and he just lives 3 houses down?" She could not help but to chuckle a bit because that would only make sense because in her mind what guy was going to go out his way to make sure he pops up in some girl's neighborhood for no reason without living somewhere near that area? Well the minutes turned into hours, the days into weeks and it seemed as though Lizzy and Brad had really took a shining to each other as now they were talking increasingly, he would stop by from time to time to have a glass of Lizzy's famous sweet iced tea, and Lizzy would often stroll by Brad's place to drop off some freshly baked cookies or some leftovers from the dinner she cooked that night and before they knew it Brad was asking Lizzy out on their first date. Naturally, Lizzy accepted his invitation. Surprisingly, the evening of their date as Lizzy was getting all gussied up and ready to go one would think that Lizzy would be a downright ball of nerves. After all this was their very first date but to her dismay, she was shockingly calm, cool, and collected, it almost felt natural with all the time they had been spending together already. It was finally time to go, and Brad was on time in fact he was right on the dot. Impressive she thought to herself as she was walking towards the door to let him in. She opened the door and there stood Brad all decked out and looking snappy, she took one look at him and said " well my! You clean up awful nice." Brad looks at her and says, " Likewise you do not look too bad yourself." They gave each other a smile and headed out for their evening of fun. First stop they made was to the towns finest Italian restaurant which Lizzy had hear had the best made from scratch authentic Italian cuisine in town, then it was off to a show in the park. When the show was over and they both headed home Lizzy could not help but to think what a wonderful evening this was, and Brad was so sweet and charming she wanted to see him again. And so, she did. The weeks turned into months and right before their very eyes before either one knew it; they were in a full-blown relationship. This was not the first go round for either one of them and neither one was getting any younger, he was tired of the single life and was ready to settle down and she was too, so they decided to take their relationship to the next level and Brad ended up selling his house and moving in with Lizzy. So far so good things were really going great. Then about 6 months into their new arrangement Lizzy and Brad were sitting at the breakfast table eating their usual breakfast and sipping on their coffee taking turns reading the comics section of the newspaper when out of nowhere Brad gets down on one knee in front of Lizzy and taps lightly at the paper she was reading. Lizzy drops the paper and sees Brad in front of her on one knee holding a small blue velvet box in his hand, Brad starts off by saying to Lizzy " Lizzy you are the light at the end of my tunnel. When I met you, I never could have thought that we would ever be here together as we are right now. You came into my life and saved me from myself. You have really brightened up my world. You have been a true blessing in my life, and I could not thank you enough. Would you make me the happiest man alive and be the light at the end of my tunnel for the rest of my life? Lizzy will you marry me?" And just then a tear went rolling down Brad's face as he sat there on one knee and nervously waited for Lizzy's answer, when without a thought Lizzy smiled and began to cry and softly, she said yes! Then all the sudden they both just took a deep breath crying and laughing at the same time they wrapped their arms around each other and just embraced each other. Suddenly Lizzy jumps up and says " oh my gosh! I Gotta call my mother! She is going to be so delighted when she hears the news! Brad jumps up and says yes mine too! So, they both grab their cell phones and begin to call everyone they knew and could think of to spread their exciting news! Brad and Lizzy are getting married. There was so much to do, so much that needed to be done before their big day. Lizzy needed a dress and Brad a tuxedo, then there was the choosing of the Chapple and minister, then there was the cake, the food, the caterers, the music band, the song for their first dance as spouses, the invitations, the seating arrangements at the reception, the total number of guests. the center pieces for all the tables, the tablecloths and dinnerware and cups or glasses, the guest book for all who attended to sign, who was going to be the flower carrier, the ring bearer, the bridesmaids and groomsmen, the colors and theme of the wedding, and the type of flowers. Out of all the hustle and bustle of all the preparations just when they thought they had it all planned down to the very last detail Lizzy finally realized they had forgot something, the most important detail of all. They forgot to set a date. When would it be? Brad thought Valentine's day, the most romantic day of the year, Lizzy thought that to be too original, everybody wants to get married on Valentine's day. It was not long before they both produced a day that pleased them both. They decided to get married on the same day that they very first bumped into each other on the street that led them to this moment only 3 years later. As time drew nearer and nearer and tension began to rise Lizzy began to see a change in Brad. But it was not the change she wanted to see. Brad started being distant towards Lizzy, he started to withdrawal and isolate more, he became less involved in the final stages of preparing for the one day that was supposed to be one of the happiest days of their lives, he became less and less emotionally involved in fact it was as though he was not involved at all anymore. Leaving Lizzy to wonder if this was what he still wanted to do. Well now here it is their big day is finally here and all the worries and suspicions that had been spiraling through Lizzy's head she tried desperately to bury away and not think about as she was at the church in her designated dressing room with her mom buzzing like a bee all around her helping Lizzy with her last final changes like her hair and makeup and getting Lizzy into her dress. When finally, there was a knock at her door, and it was the minister telling her that it was time. Everyone was all there and had been seated and it was time to get married. But there was this sinking feeling in the pit of Lizzy's tummy that kept telling her that something just was not right, that something was about to go horribly wrong. And as her mother ushers her into the Chapple and the bridesmaids are carrying her train of her dress, the doors to the Chapple come swinging open and just then Lizzy looks up only to see that she was the only one standing at the altar. Brad was missing. No one has seemed to know where he was if he had even come to the church and no one had even seen him yet come to think of it. Lizzy just thought to herself " this could not possibly be happening. There is just no way that Brad had just abandoned Lizzy and left her standing there at the altar alone! Lizzy was in total shock as she stood there crying trying so hard not to ruin her makeup looking around just hoping he would come running through those doors any minute now. She tried hard as she could to stay calm, but people were starting to talk, and you could hear the whispers from everybody in the audience. Finally, Lizzy could not hold back any longer, she grabbed up the sides of her dress and with a fountain of tears running down her face she took off running out of the Chapple and back into her dressing area with her mother following closely behind her. It was obvious that there was not going to be a wedding that day so the minister excused all the guests and told them they could go back home now. Lizzy was finally able to move on and get passed this tragic moment in her life and she was able to put it all behind her and get back to normal, but it was not easy for her in fact it took quite a while and many months of seeing a therapist to get passed it all, but she did. To this day no one knows what happened that day or what went wrong or more importantly what happened to Brad and they never will but for Lizzy she has since moved on and found her the perfect man, has been married for 4 years now, has 3 stunningly beautiful daughters and yes you guessed it they are identical triplets, she has the career she has always dreamed of and life could not have turned out any better. It really is true when one door closes another one opens. It is truly one of life's miracles.
A New Year And A New Me
As the years end and the New Year begins it seems like every year on December 31st instead of getting all dolled up fixing my hair, doing my makeup, getting my nails done, shopping for a new sexy and fancy outfit and going all out and calling up my " girls" and heading out to the bars and clubs to get drunk and watch the ball drop on a bar television I find myself just staying home in a comfy pair of pajama pants, fuzzy slippers and a sweatshirt sitting in front of the tv with my notepad and a pen racking my brain and making a list of all my New Year's resolutions that I intend to put into place starting the next day on January 1st, some of my resolutions seem pretty reasonable and obtainable while others are so far out of reach that even I have to take a second look at them and ask myself " what was I thinking "and all too often they are the same old generic resolutions as I'm sure most other people have on their list too, you know the lose 30 pounds, go out to eat less, spend more time with the family, play more with the kids, spend less money and save more, use less swear words, be less stressed out, get more rest, take more time for myself etc. But now that I think about it are all those things really resolutions or are, they things I could already be doing without having to wait until the first of the year to implement them into my life? So, this year my New Year's resolution is simple, and that is to just be the best me I can be and just try to live this year better than the last. No rules to break, no elevated expectations that I put on myself, no time limits, and no pressure on myself to get things done. Just me being me but simply doing my best to be a better me today than I was yesterday learning from the mistakes I made the day before and trying not to do them again tomorrow. And instead of being hard on myself for making a mistake or not accomplishing what I set for myself to do but just putting forth the effort to make my wrongs right and just be the best part of me I can be. For me this means to be less judgmental towards people, let go of old grudges and forgive whoever and move on, treat others with more respect, let go of all my character defects such as my jealousy, spite, anger towards past relationships, hatred towards past relationships, my competitiveness, my need to be better than someone else, bullheadedness, stop cussing so much when I talk, and the list could go on. But instead of getting mad at myself and giving up on it all when I happen to slip up and find myself still doing any of those things, I hope I have the strength and compassion for myself to brush off the dust, get up, try again and just keep trying and instead of focusing so much on my failures, I want to see passed that and start celebrating my accomplishments and that would be my resolution for this new year and every year to come. Nothing outlandish and out of reach, nothing that must be done in a certain amount of time, nothing that is unobtainable. Just me simply taking the old me and making her better not for anyone else in specific but just for myself and not change my outward appearance but to change who I am on the inside, let the real me come shining through for once instead of me trying to be someone I am not in attempt to fit in with the crowd or me trying to impress a guy I am liking or me trying to hide the real me from other people in fear of what they might say or think if they saw the real me. And finally, for me to not worry so much about what others would say or think to see the real me because at the end of the day is what other people think of me really going to be what matters? No what matters is what I think of myself and how I feel about myself. I am my own worst enemy and critic.
Pure Unadulterated Ecstacy
They were young when they met, he was younger than her by two years but that never mattered to either one of them, age was just a number for them. His parents did not mind their relationship while her parents were on the fence about it not because of the age difference but because of what these two were doing together. These two crazy kids had a chemistry and heat between them that was undeniable, it was blatantly obvious to everyone it was no secret. These two were attracted to each other in ways that two young people should not be concerned with, but he wanted her just as much as she wanted him and the passion between them seemed to be so electric that neither one of them could resist each other. Just one touch from him or the look in his eyes would absolutely drive her wild, she was drawn to him like a moth to a flame and she knew exactly what to do to send him into overdrive too but that was what made their connection so magical. For some couples to achieve this level of intensity and passion and with such conviction it would take them years of being together to get to this level but for them it was instant, from moment one they found it merely impossible to keep their hands off each other. Just the feel of his hands running up and down her silky smooth and delicate skin sent shivers down her spine, his lips were like wine and she could not get enough, just a simple look from him would have her begging for his touch, for him her lips were like velvet, her skin was so smooth and silky, and how wet she would get just from one touch of his hand would have her soaking wet and ready to cum for him she would climax from him simply sliding one finger inside her hot, wet area, it would send him over the edge her getting this wet and excited he would slowly and sensually take her clothes off one piece at a time exposing her entire glory to him, breathing deeply and slowly, gripping the sheets just trying to control herself, he gently kisses her silky smooth body working his way slowly down to her dripping wet area, then gently slides his tongue slowly up and down pausing at her clit to tease her a bit, she grabs the back of his head and arches her back, curling her toes and biting her bottom lip, moaning out loudly in extreme pleasure he buried his face deep inside her area making her beg for more, she tries to squirm away but he wraps his arms around her legs putting a strong hold on her keeping her from getting away from what was coming next. What he had planned to do next was a complete surprise to her, he starts talking sexually but a bit aggressively to her , at first it shocked her she did not know whether he was being playful or serious but in the moment she decided to roll with the punches, he went from asking what she liked to telling her what to do, how to do it and what position he wanted her in to do it, he demands her to go down on him, this new aggression was thrilling for her and she was liking it and responding to it in a major way. She was taking his instruction and carrying it out splendidly he did not expect this outcome as she had never been introduced to the world of domination. With them being so young and her inexperienced in this type of thing he decided to tone this down even though she seemed to be liking it he did not feel she was fully ready to be thrown into this new type of experimentation. This relationship they had went on for about a year when they got into their first argument and with her temper and solely out of spite, she announced to him that she had cheated on him, not expecting the response she got from him she never thought that he would ever break up with her over this, she figured with all they had together they would be able to work through it and move on. She only said it out of spite, but he was not standing to hear any kind of reasoning. He moved on and continued living his life as so did she, after a while they eventually lost complete contact, for him it appeared as though it was no important thing to him that she was gone but for her it was a total devastation, she found it hard to move on, she held onto their prom picture for years, she never forgot about him, but she knew she had no choice but to let his memory go and move on. For years, every so often a thought of him would cross her mind and she would sit, and smile think of back then, so in a way she kept his memory alive. Now here it is, and 25 years had passed, and it is now the age of social media and Facebook was the next best thing next to sliced bread and everybody had a profile on there, she was a major Facebook junkie and practically lived online. Well she happened to online one day posting what was going on with her and out of the blue the people you may know section popped up so she decided to scroll through to see if she knew anyone on this list, low and behold the first person on this list was the one she let get away when she was a teenager, she had to take a double look when it slapped her like a ton of bricks, suddenly her cheeks were rosy red, she was feeling flushed, her heart started pounding, her breathing increased rapidly, she felt all giddy and excited when she noticed it was him. Without any thought she messaged him and to her surprise he responded. From that moment on like magic everything just fell into place. He came by to visit her one day while he happened to be in town, and they vowed then to not loose contact again and they did not. Soon after that first visit their interactions became more often and he started staying the night with her on occasion, of course he would have to get up early to head back to his now hometown but that did not stop these two from being always in constant contact being always in constant contact about a month into this reunion and she again was finding it harder and harder to let him go when he would come to spend the night. Now they both had been through some rough relationships and had been through some traumatic things, so it was only natural that they both made it noticeably clear to each other that in no way did either one of them ever want to get into another relationship again. They were quite content with the way things were going and only being together on the occasion. As we all know sometimes life has a different plan than what we do. Well with their visits becoming more and more frequent he decided one day to invite her to come with him to his home, at first she is reluctant and gracefully declines his invitation because although she had not mentioned this to him yet already inside her heart she was wanting more than what they had going, she no longer wanted just the occasional visit or overnight here and there, secretly she had fallen back in love with him but did not know if she should tell him or not, even more she did not know if that moment was the right time or not. He had sent off signals that he wanted more too but then again maybe she was just misreading those signals and they did not really mean that at all. She decided to wait for a bit before saying anything to him about how she was feeling then all the sudden out of the quietness her phone rings and it was him, she answers, and he begins telling her that he is making an impromptu trip and wanted to know could he spend a night or two with her at her place. Naturally, she said yes and there it was she got all giddy like a kid in a candy store. They get to the end of their phone call and as they are saying goodbye all the sudden, she hears him say " ok babe I'll see you then, I love you," and then without a thought she responds, " ok babe, I love you too." and they hung up. But wait a second! Did he just say what I heard him say? Better yet did I just say what I just said too? Does he even realize what he just said? Does he realize that I heard what he just said? She was confused, did he mean to say that or was that just out of normal reaction and he did not really mean to say that? She did not care at this precise moment she did not want to question it, it felt too good and it felt too right. As the day goes on and the hours slip away all she can think about is what they said it just keeps replaying in her mind over and over what he said to her and what she said to him, time went by so quick that before she knew it, he was there and knocking at her door, she was so happy to see him it was written all over her face. When she opened the door to let him in the look on his face said it all there was no need to question anything. He was feeling the same way she was, and he meant what he said, and it was plain to see. As he walks in her door, shits and locks it without hesitation he grabs her by her arms, spins her around and wraps his arms around her in the most loving embrace she had ever had from anyone, and they just stood there embracing each other as though this was the last time that they would see each other, this went on for several minutes, next thing they knew they were both stripping down naked, breathing like wild animals, and he grabs her and gently throws her on the bed then he pounces on top of her and begins kissing on her wildly and passionately, just then it was as though the animal in both of them just unleashed and it was as though time had stood still all them years and they just picked up where they left off as teens. The only thing that made this time different was that they were older now and he knew that she was finally ready to grasp and take on his fetish with domination. So once again he just goes for it and begins introducing her to it and to his surprise she jumps in with both feet, takes to him ordering her to do certain things and she fully embraces this new yet thrilling way of having sex and she just falls right in line with it all and goes for it. She is so wrapped up in the fact that she is finally back with the one she let slip away all those years ago, she is so caught up in the moment that all she wants now is to please him and keep him happy so that she never lets him go again. And just like that they were right back where they started and only a few things that turned him on about her back then had changed but they changed for the greater good. Back when they first met with her being so young, she did not have all the physical attributes that she has now. Now her boobs were huge 40D to be exact and her nipples when teased would just stand to attention all nice and perky but that was not all her ass was perfect, her ass was so full, round, soft, irresistible, and worth spanking. Which mixed with pulling her hair drove her up the wall in all the right ways. He decides to take this new road they were on just a bit further but knowing all she had been through in past relationships he wants her to enjoy what he wants to try with her, so he takes it slow with her. He tells her he wants to try anal sex with her and knowing that anal was the one thing that a past boyfriend had used on her as a form of abuse and punishment for his sadistic pleasures he lets her be the one to say yes or no. With a whole lot of resistance from her and a whole lot more of coaching and persuasion from him she finally decides to let him try and what an experience that turned out to be! This just opened up pandora's box for them. All at once she was taken to a whole new level in the sex game, he was taking her to new heights and showing her how to love what she had been taught to hate so many years ago. She was loving this new side of herself that she had never known before, and he was loving the fact that she was being so open and willing to try these things with him, not only did this heighten their sexual experiences together but it took their relationship to a whole other level. Thus, sending them both down the path of extreme unadulterated sex and ecstasy. Which for these two love birds was nothing new just enhanced and more intense and when you all this with the adoration and love they held for each other it creates a bond and love that will make it through to the very ends of time and for that one could never ask for anything more or greater.
The Girl Behind The smile
Josey was a spirited, beautiful, smart, and talented girl who had a lot going for herself, she had a bright future ahead of herself and she had big dreams and plans for her life after high school and college, she was always so happy and always had a big smile on her face it was as though she never had a difficult day. If there was ever anything that was bothering her or that she was struggling with no one would ever know because she always had a smile on her face and acted like she was so carefree, she was such a delight to be around and an all-around great person to know. She had a huge heart that she wore on her sleeve and lots of love to give, then just out of nowhere her friends began to see a change in Josey, even though she still always had a huge smile on her face and went around acting as if nothing were ever wrong those who were closest to her could tell that something just was not right with Josey, they could see it in her eyes from time to time and if her eyes did not say it sometime her facial expressions would. Josey would get this look on her face kind of like a look of worry or distress of some sort almost like she was staring off into another dimension or something, her eyes would be blank like the lights were on but no one was home, her face would be blank if that makes any sense and she would be non-responsive for a good minute or two maybe three and her breathing would drastically slow down, but then she would just snap out of her trance like state and she would claim to not have any recollection of what just happened, her smile and cheery attitude would come right back and she would be right back to the same ole Josey she had always been. Her friends were in total shock and disbelief to the whole situation, they would stand there all confused and trying to make sense of all of this. After all this was something brand new, they had never seen Josey like that before, they did not know what to do or if they should even try to do anything for that matter. And to make matters worse anytime anyone would try to talk to Josey about what was going on or try to question her about its Josey would just laugh at them and dismiss it like they were crazy or did not know what they were talking about. This new behavior from Josey had all her closest friends confused and wondering what to do or say next because none of them wanted to rock the boat giving Josey any reason to go off into another one of her trances. Finally, about 1 week after Josey's friends noticed this strange behavior from her all her friends decided to call a meeting to discuss what it was, they could do to try and figure out what was happening to their friend and what they could do to help her but none of them could produce anything since none of them knew for sure what was really going on with Josey because Josey never did say what was going on. In fact, she always would laugh and dismiss what she had done as nothing ever happened. So finally, her friends just decided to back off Josey for a bit and just watch and observe her for a few days or longer just to see if things would change with Josey. So, for three days they sat back and just watched her every move and not once did Josey have one of those episodes. So, they all decided it really was not as bad as they were making things out to be and they decided to just trust what Josey had been telling them, that there was nothing going on, they backed off and put it out of their minds and began to move on from this whole ordeal. Then maybe a few days later around lunch time Josey and her friends were enjoying an early lunch together before having to go their separate ways to their different classes and they were all engaged in their normal type of conversation when just out of the clear blue sky one of Josey's friends happened to look up at her and noticed Josey had went into this trance like state again. So now it was official in their minds that something just was not right and there really was something going on with Josey and as usual Josey snapped out of her catatonic like state and was again back too normal. So once again they questioned her about it but only this time, they told Josey that they were not going anywhere, and she was not either until she told them the truth about all this what was going on with her. Just then Josey broke down in a raging fit of tears and that is when the flood gates broke open and Josey began to tell everything, amidst all the crying Josey began to talk about her deep depression and her feelings of anxiety and how even in a room full of people she still felt as though she was all alone, she talked about her fear of abandonment and how she felt like if she did not keep up her usual happy appearance then people most likely would not like her and think differently of her so she kept it all inside and refused to let her true feelings show, Josey then talked about how she had been feeling like this for an extremely long time years to be exact, then Josey went on to say where all of this was stemming from. See when Josey was born she lost her mom at birth, Josey's mother died while giving birth to her due to an unexpected complication she had during birth that caused her mother to have a stroke in the middle of delivering Josey and that forced the doctors into doing an emergency c-section to try and save Josey in time, but unfortunately with all efforts the doctors took to save Josey they were not able to save her mom, a tough call to make yes but it had to be done so Josey was taken and raised by her two wonderful and loving grandparents which were Josey's mom's parents but aside from all the love, care, attention and devotion that Josey's grandparents gave her raising her as if she were their child Josey could not help but to feel like a huge part of her was missing and honestly it was her mom was not there to celebrate any of her major milestones in life like her first word, first step, first day of school, first crush, first boyfriend, prom, date, kiss etc. All the firsts that a girl would want her mom there for her mom was not there for so pretty much all her life Josey never really felt like she really belonged in this life and all too often Josey wished it were her that would have died that day and not her mom. Sure, Josey's grandparents never kept her mother's spirit from her, and they showered Josey with all sorts of pictures of her mother when her mother was a little girl and on up to when she was Josey's age and right up to when she went into the hospital to have Josey. They would speak of Josey's mom all the time telling Josey that if her mom was alive today to see the girl she had become how proud her mother would be of Josey, telling Josey that even though her mother is not physically here she is somewhere up in heaven watching Josey and smiling down on her and guiding her from heaven, they never once let Josey forget who her mother was and the type of woman her mother used to be, her grandparents tried their hardest to keep Josey's mother's spirit alive in Josey but somehow Josey still felt alone. This alone every so often would send Josey into a spiraling whirlwind of deep and dark depression and anxiety and for that reason Josey felt like she was not like all the other girls her age, she felt like she was different than all the other girls, she would see girls from her school out and about with their moms and all Josey could think was that she wished she had her mom too, but Josey did not realize that she had something that none of these other girls had, Josey had two loving and nurturing and amazing grandparents that loved her and cherished her and raised her as if she were their own, she had a mom and dad too only hers was in the form of her grandparents and that was awfully special. Without delay you could see it in Josey's face that this had hit her like a ton of bricks and suddenly she felt horrible all over again but this time she felt horrible for discrediting her grandparents like that but at the same time she felt so much better now that her friends pointed that out to her and explained that to her. You could see it in her eyes and face that it was like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, suddenly the old Josey started coming back and Josey was beginning to be that bright, happy, spirited girl she had always been again. But this also brought about a change in Josey to a change for the greater good. Josey began going to church on Sunday's and reading her bible and praying every morning in night, Josey wanted more than anything to be close to her mother once again and wanted to go to heaven once it was her time to go so just jumped into religion with both feet and decided to put all her faith into a power higher than herself. This brought out a girl in Josey that her friends had never seen before but to tell the truth they were liking this change in her, and they were not afraid to say so either. Along with this new change it had sparked the plans and dreams she once had for her future again and suddenly Josey was back to planning her bright future again, back to working towards her goals, getting the good grades, and studying a lot and such. Josey began to take things a lot less seriously and began to enjoy life more, she started to not take things for granted and took things more as a blessing and she began to treat her friends and grandparents with more love and devotion and started seeing what she had as a blessing and not as something that was owed to her. Josey finally had a fresh new take on life and started to really appreciate what she had more. Josey really started to blossom into a wonderful person after her friends gave her this new revelation. It was like Josey had been reborn and given a whole new aspect on the life she had been given. Josey was a brand-new girl and she acted as such. Now Josey really loved life and she dove head on into this new change and she really confronted a problem head-on and gave it everything she had to become a happier and better person from then on and that she did. It is truly a miracle to have friends so dear to you that they take the time and effort to stick by you when you are at your lowest point in life, you can always count on them to help you rise above and become someone greater. Thank goodness for the trivial things and the blessing that are given to us in our darkest hours, without them where would we really be? It is hard to imagine a life or living in a world where we had no one to care about or for us when we needed them to. It just goes to show that thankfulness and gratitude are two great traits to possess.
Sarah and John were the model couple. They first met in college at a pep rally just hours before the big football game that night. Sarah was standing in a circle just talking and laughing it up with 3 of her closest friends when this tall, buff, athletic blonde haired and blue-eyed jock from the football team was not paying any attention to where he was going had walked up behind Sarah and bumped into her causing her to drop all the books, notebooks, and folders, she was holding scattering them all over the place and nearly knocking her to the ground. Without any hesitation Sarah hollers out " hey, watch where you're going bub!" Catching John completely off guard he instantly looks up and says " Gosh, I'm so sorry, I was not watching where I was going." Then a split-second later Sarah and John happen to look up and lock eyes for forever but was only a minute if that, but it was the most powerful minute in history for them. Sarah not taking her eyes off John quickly bends down and starts to gather her books, notebooks and folders up off the sidewalk and John not taking his eyes off Sarah says " where are my manners? Allow me to help you with that." And with an innocent yet flirtatious smile Sarah just says " ok." Sarah looks at John and introduces herself and John answered her by introducing himself. From that moment on life was never going to be the same for these two because the very next day they were meeting up for a cup of coffee and a bagel at the small bistro they had there on the campus. And what was only supposed to be an hour-long meeting at the latest they ended up talking and laughing and flirting and smiling and really enjoying each other's company for 5 hours. They were so engaged in the moment and so fascinated by each other that they had totally lost track of time. It is a good thing neither one of them had any classes that day because if they had they would not have made it. While all this was going on Sarah looks up and just happened to catch a glance at the clock on the wall when she realized just how late it had got to be when she let out an unexpected gasp and says " goodness gracious! Would you look at the time?" She goes on to say " I really hate to end this, but it is getting late and I have a test I need to study for in the morning. I really should get back to my dorm room now." John just smiled sweetly and agrees and says '" Ok well at least let me walk you to your building, no girl such as yourself should be walking alone this late in the evening." Sarah gives John a grin and gracefully accepts his gesture. From then on, these two love birds were inseparable, they did everything together, they even graduated together and went on to get jobs in the same office after graduation. This turned into them dating for another 4 years when without giving any clues or hints to Sarah John had secretly planned this elaborate and romantic date night for him and Sarah. The night started out with drinks at the bar in the most expensive and exclusive restaurant in town, then a candle light dinner for two with a nice quiet table back off in the corner of the room allowing them all the privacy needed for John to surprise Amanda with what he had been planning for the last two months, they got seated, their waiter had got their drinks and took their orders and had walked away, Sarah and John were deep in conversation when John slowly reaches across the table taking both of Sarah hands and holding them in his, he looks Sara square in her eyes, gives a nervous grin, he stands up next to Sarah just to drop down on one knee, slowly pulling a small blue velvet box out of one of the pockets in his pants, he looks Sarah in her eyes again and with a tear rolling slowly down his cheek John takes a deep nervous breath and says " Sarah, from the moment we met I knew instantly that you were the girl I had been waiting my entire life to meet, and I knew that no matter what I had to make you mine, and I did, now here it is some few years later and every moment I get to be with you and spend time with you feels like I did the day we first met, I could not be any happier than I am today so would you make me the happiest man alive and be all mine for the rest of our lives? Sarah will you marry me?" Sarah looks at John, tears rolling down her rosy pink cheeks, she is trembling, in shock, Sarah gasps for air and without a moment of hesitation she throws herself to the floor, wraps her arms around John and begins to shake and she looks John in his eyes and says YES! Sarah said yes! Well, it was not but 6 months later and Sarah was meeting John at the alter in a huge white Catholic church, surrounded by hundreds of family members and friends and John's family and friends, all decked out in flowers and candles and decorations galore, John and Sarah are saying their vows to each other and saying Idol and at last it is time for everyone's favorite moment, the bride gets to kiss the groom. Sarah and John are now Mr. and Mrs. John Matthews. This blessed event turns into many years of love, joy, happiness, and bliss followed by the births of their 3 glorious children 2 boys and a girl all of which were exactly 2 years apart. But this is where things start to get tricky. Sarah had left her job at the office to be a stay-at-home mom to their children. Sarah soon found herself smack dab in the middle of getting the kids up every morning, cooking their breakfast, packing their lunches, taking them to school and picking them up at 3. But it does not stop there. Sarah had Ballet lessons for her daughter, soccer, and football practices for the 2 boys, parent teacher conferences, PTA meetings, music concerts, plays, making sure the kids got their homework done every night after cooking dinner and feeding her family etc. All the classic duties of the average homemaker. But that was not all that had changed. Sarah had noticed a huge change in John too. John had started working more hours than normal, working late more often throughout the week, coming home later on the days he left work at his usual time, she noticed that John was becoming more and more distant with her and the kids, he was becoming more and more easily irritated by Sarah in general, he stopped going to any of the kids school functions and activities, he seemed to be depressed a lot, he was talking less to Sarah about things that were going on with him, they stopped sleeping in the same bed together and John had moved to sleeping in their guest room, he had become so withdrawn from anything that had to do with their family so much so the children began to take notice. Something was amiss, and Sarah just could not figure it out, she too became depressed and withdrawn and had started separating herself from John and the kids. Things had gotten so bad between them that they finally had to hire a live-in babysitter just to tend to their children and keep them from noticing more of what was happening with mom and dad. Sarah always being the stronger one of the two had begun putting two and two together and started trying to figure out just what was going on with her husband. She could not help but to repeatedly ask herself how was it that after all these years together and having and raising their three wonderful children together could this marriage be falling apart all the sudden? She started to blame herself for everything that was going on. She could not help but to think about what it was that she had done or said or not done or not said that was so wrong that it caused all of this to happen? Was she not being the wife she needed to be for John? Was she not being the mother she needed to be for their kids? Was she not taking care of the home, right? Was she not performing correctly or as good as she should be in the bedroom? Had her appearance become so bad that she was no longer attractive to John? Was there something more she should be doing to make him happy? Where was all this coming from? Sarah never had been one to jump to conclusions and assume stuff about anything, but this really had her baffled and it was starting to take a toll on her wellbeing. All the sudden all these different scenarios began to flood her mind. She started to ask herself could all this be happening because John has another woman on the side somewhere. Could her husband that she loved so much and doted over be stepping out on their marriage and family to be with someone else? Could John be having an affair on all the nights he says he has to work late? She did not want to think the worst and she sure did not want to jump to conclusions and she sure was not going to accuse him of something she had no proof of, but she had to do something, she had to know what was taking her husband and the father to her children away from her and his family, she had to put these suspicions to rest finally. Sarah started recording all their phone calls, going through his phone at night while he slept, reading his emails, and even hired a private investigator to follow John for a while to see if she could find the underlying cause of all this nonsense. Sarah was so wrapped up in getting answers to all her suspicions and questions that she did not stop to think that when all is said and done, and she finds out what John is up to and she finally has an answer to all her questions that the answer she gets just might not be the answer she wants and is looking for. Well, this went on for about two weeks while the private investigator did what he was hired to do, when it had finally come down to Sarah getting some answers. She meets up with the investigator and he start to show her his findings. As she is listening to what all the investigators had seen she realized that her suspicions were true. John was cheating on Sarah with a 26-year-old red headed slutty bimbo that happened to work in the same office as John. Sarah fought as hard as she could to contain her emotions and to keep from falling apart, she had just found out that her life as she knew it was ending and things from here on out were never going to be the same again. She was devastated, crushed, in total disbelief, she was speechless, she felt lost. This would explain all the weirdness that she had been going through these past several months but that still did not make any of this better, it certainly did not make her feel any better. All Sarah wanted to do was give up and give up all together. Then suddenly a vision of her kids flashed in her eyes and she realized no matter how bad she was hurting and how much she just wanted to run away for the sake of her 3 children she had to suck it up and stay strong and never let on to her kids that she was dying inside. So, with that in mind she just swallowed her pride and did the best she could to keep the rest of her family together. After a while thing began to get better and she was coping with things a lot better. The divorce was finalized just 6 months after their separation, Sarah kept the house and the kids and the car, John moved in with the new floozie, the kids stopped asking about dad and life was getting back on track. Things were going good again. Now it has been about 4 years since the divorce and Sarah has moved on with her life and kids and the only thing that weighs on her mind today is if he can leave her so easily for a newer and younger girl, she did not need that in her life anyway. But the one thing that has really brought her the most satisfaction is knowing one thing and that is that if he will leave her, he will also leave his new girl it is just a matter of time because as the age old saying goes...... You cannot make people change their ways. Once a leaver always a leaver. Lesson learned.
The Good, The Bad And The Ugly
Life has many stages the good, the bad and the ugly. This story is about the ugly and for a young girl we will call her Alice life was nothing but ugly. See Alice grew up in a strong Christian loving home but somewhere along the lines that all fell apart and Alice spiraled into a highly toxic and dangerous life of sex, drugs and crime, the type of life that Alice did not belong in. Alice was young a ripe old age of 19 when she got introduced to a life, she had never thought possible, a life that showed her a whole other way of living, a life of fake love, crime, and methamphetamines. For those of you who might not be familiar with the word methamphetamines let me give you a quick overview of what that word is. Methamphetamines is a lethal, dangerous, and highly addictive drug that a lot of teens and young people have experimented with and it quickly became a love hate relationship, like a moth to a flame they are drawn in completely and full on addicted. Methamphetamines will take a good person and drag them down a dark, lonely, and desperate road that seems to never end. For Alice, this way of living was her reality but the only thing that separated Alice from the other meth addicts she knows is that the meth has yet to steal her heart for humanity, Alice still wanted to love and be loved, but that would soon change and faster than she expects it to. Alice was still wet behind the ears when it comes down to the truth behind her meth addiction, she had no clue about street life or how to survive it, so she turned to the ones who knew it all about this game, she turned to the drug dealers. See Alice was a gorgeous girl. She was tall and thin with a coke bottle shape, long straight, soft, blonde hair, a fair complexion, and a smile that could light up an entire room. All the guys wanted her, and the girls wanted to be her, but she never would have seen that. Anyway, Alice had a thing for the drug dealers, they kept her high and happy and she well she kept them happy as well. Alice was like the modern-day Marilyn Monroe, she looked like a goddess and unfortunately for her it seemed that her best asset was between her thighs. She could have been a high paid porn star with as good as that girl could lay it down on a man, to say the least she never got any complaints from the men, she was good at being bad and bad at being good. Anyway, as I was saying Alice was all about dating the drug dealers, for a young and wet behind the ears meth addict who did not have a clue about the streets and how to stay alive through it all, no job and certainly no money dating a drug dealer is the way to go. Think about it, having a drug dealer as your boyfriend was ideal in this type of situation but it was a position that not just any girl could fill, most drug dealers have an extremely specific type in women and Alice sure fit the bill and as it happens Alice had met and fell in love with a real thug like drug dealer, we will call him Prince. Prince was a bit older than Alice, no real job, a pocket full of meth and another pocket full of cash and he had no problems with spending that cash on Alice so long as she always kept him happy and supplied with what he wanted from her the most, sex. If Alice followed his wants and demands he had no issue with keeping her high and happy with anything and everything she wanted or needed. It was like Alice was living the all-American dream just on the other side of the tracks. But the fairy tale soon came crashing down and in the blink of an eye everything changed and not for the greater good either. It was just a matter of time before Alice would get the firsthand view of the cold hard truth behind Prince and this fairy tale lifestyle, she had become used to. Prince become aggressive quick, he formed a hair trigger temper, and anything could set him off at any time, he became verbally aggressive talking bad to Alice and totally disrespecting her, and before she knew it Prince was hitting her a lot and she was having a tough time trying to keep the bruises and black eyes covered up. Turns out Prince was not the prince she thought he was. See Alice had fell in love and Prince had fell in lust, but it had gotten to the point that regardless of how much sex they had or how satisfied she tried to keep him Prince had gotten all he wanted from Alice and no longer wanted or needed her and kicked her to the curb without a clue or place to go. Alice was to say the least devastated, lost, scared and now homeless. With all the mess and confusion going on it bothered her at first but that did not last long when she bumped into yet another drug dealer claiming that he would move Alice into his spot, supply her with all things that she needed and wanted, provide her with a safe and comfortable place to stay and would keep the meth in high supply if she in return kept him happy too. After leaving one trap house and one drug dealer boyfriend and being left to fend for herself she has managed to find and shack up with another drug dealer with a cute smile and a way with words, Alice was so captivated by the moment that she quickly forgot about the most recent turn of events that had led her to where she was now. Matter of fact after a few hits of methamphetamines she had forgotten about everything to be exact. She had got so lost in the glory of the moment and having a place to go so quickly after being thrown away like garbage she did not stop to think about the days to come and how they could play out and if she needed to draw up a backup plan just in case things ended up going south like the last guy did that she threw caution to the wind and let her defenses down again, she got comfortable again and not long after maybe a good two weeks had passed and tragedy had struck again, she got into a disagreement with the new guy over her not holding up her end of the bargain and keeping him satisfied like she agreed but yet he held up his promise by giving her food, clothing, shelter, and keeping the party favors flowing like water. He felt as though she really had no intentions of sticking to her end of the deal and he felt that she was only taking advantage of him and that bothered him, so much so that just like the last guy he told her she needed to leave, he was quite upset that he had seen a girl in need, and she took his kindness for weakness instead of being appreciative for all he did to help when he did not have to. Even this did not phase Alice either, she just thought to herself " oh well no need to sweat the small stuff she would just find someone else. Alice did not even stop and realize that there was already a pattern of the same type of tragedies happening to her. Although she had not found another place to go as quickly as she had the last time and she had to spend a few nights sleeping on the streets and eating her meals from the local homeless soup kitchens. By now she was really needing a shower and a clean change of clothes and was really wishing she had not blown her chances and burned her bridges with the last few people that were willing to show her some kindness and try to help her. Or were their hearts in the right place to begin with? Could it be that they only tried to help her for their own personal gain somehow? All the sudden all these spiteful thoughts went flowing through her mind and Alice began to see things for what they really were and not through rose colored glasses. Just then Alice realized that the last two guys that had let her stay then threw her out were only using her until they did not need her anymore then gave her the boot. To a normal person this would have been heart breaking but for Alice this only seemed to make her mad and turn and hateful towards people, she began building a deep dislike and hatred towards other people, she started seeking revenge out on all the people who wronged her, she formed an even deeper hatred for other women so much so that Alice could not even be in the same room with another girl and her blood would start boiling and she was ready to fight her for no reason at all. These feelings she was having although dark and scary at times were feelings, she was not used to her embraced them and took off running with them. Word on the street was Alice was not the one anyone would want to find themselves tangoing with for any reason. Alice had become extremely aggressive and violent towards people especially those who she found competition in or those she felt could, would or will do her wrong in some way, she had started to rack up several violent charges, she had gotten and earned quite the name and reputation for herself in the streets. People began to leave her alone more as they soon found out Alice was going to stand her ground. One thing I never mentioned about Alice is that she was kind of a loud mouth at times she was going to make her presence known everywhere she went, she had no issues with speaking her mind when it came to unjustified stuff, she was quick to voice her opinion regardless if anyone liked it or not, she was also very opinionated but over the years that she battled this nasty addiction to methamphetamines she had slowly began to gain a high level of respect from the small time, trigger happy, cocky attitude drug dealers that lined the streets all up and down her usual hangout on Broadway ST, after a while she became well protected by them too they always had her back when anything would come about and always spoke highly of her in conversation. This fact alone had a lot of girls hating her and jealous to boot. But Alice knew that if she were going to be able to make it, she could not be bothered by what everyone thought about her. Well Alice ended up being on the streets and victim to the world of sex, drugs, and fast money off and on for a lot of years 15 to be exact, she had a rough time trying to get through this addiction and battling her demons but for the grace of God she pulled through this tragic era of her life and was able to become normal once again. Alice finally found her a man that adores her, her son is all grown up and 17 now, her life has finally become manageable again, she had got a good job though she could not stand it there she did anyway for almost 2 years, she was doing great until one fateful day she was outside her job smoking and chatting with this older than her devilishly handsome guy and they were talking about her past addiction and how long she had been clean when he invited her to his apartment after work, as usual she was curious about this guy so she accepted his invitation little did she know that visit was going to set the course for the next 2 years or more but once getting to his apartment and sitting on his couch she happen to notice that on the coffee table there sat a bag of methamphetamines and a smoking device, at first she refused it and tried as hard as she possibly could to fight the urges to smoke but after a while of it sitting there in her face the temptation was too strong for her, she should have just got up and left right then but she did not want to be rude or seem like she was being judgmental so she thought she could tough it out and she could not. It was only moments later, and she was smoking meth again. This took Alice and her family for a tailspin, she tried to control it and keep it under wraps and managed to do so for a couple months but then the big obvious warning signs began to pop up, she suddenly lost interest in things she normally loved to do, she became really moody and edgy all the time snapping at people for the littlest things, she was so angry all the time, she started withdrawing away from her friends and family and went into a total isolation from everyone, her shame was apparent and every time anyone would see her or try to talk to her she would always be looking down towards the ground she never could look anyone in their eyes, she spoke poorly about herself as though she really believed what she was saying about herself, she did not stand for anything so she fell for everything. The worst part of her life that she thought she had finally gotten past had unleashed its fury on her once again. She was so ashamed of herself and the lack of control she had over her addiction that she stayed away from her family for the longest at least the first 3 4 months before she finally snapped out of the guilt and shame and reached out to her mom, since then she has really pulled herself up again and has made some major improvements. It appears there is a light at the end of her tunnel for once and now, she has the overwhelming feeling inside that all is going to be ok. Now Alice just sits back and recounts all the events of her life and she likes to smile when she thinks about how she made it through the good, the bad and the ugly.
The Remnants Of A Toxic Love
Love can be many things, it can be a good thing, bad thing and so much more and it can take you to places you have never known before. It can be a true blessing or in some cases a curse and it very easily broken all too often these days which sets the scene for this story. See Ginger was the kind of girl that loved deeply, hard, unconditionally and to the fullest. See when Ginger was only 18, she met a guy that she fell head over heels for the moment she first laid eyes on him and she couldn't have been happier. Well as the saying goes all good thing must come to an end and boy did it! Only this came to a crashing halt and without a moment's notice. If anything in life could have broken Ginger this is the straw that broke the camel's back. See Ginger never did anything half assed, when she committed herself to anything she always jumped in with both feet, and balls to the wall it was all or nothing for her. For Ginger meeting him was no accident, she saw him, and she saw stars and knew that he was the one she had been looking for. Now what it was like for him God only knows but if it was not the same for him, he sure was good at making it look like it was. Everything seemed to be going so well for a while and one day it was like something inside of him just snapped. Suddenly it no longer mattered what Ginger said or did or did not say or did not do nothing was ever good enough and if you know anything about love a girl you know that the quickest way to break a woman down is to make her feel or think that she inadequate and like she does not measure up. And that is exactly what he ended up doing. He took a girl that was strong willed, independent, secure in her own skin, confident and outgoing and turned her into a scared, withdrawn, insecure, paranoid, jealous, mistrusting, co-dependent, lacking self-worth and confidence shell of her former self. To say the least if you knew Ginger before all of this you would not have been able to recognize her after. Even Ginger noticed the drastic change in herself, but she did not try to do anything about it because she thought this was her normal. This was her life now and any relationship that followed this one was doomed before it got a chance to start. She would never be who she used to be again. So, this is how life really is for couples? This could not possibly be how love was meant to be. This is nothing like she imagined it as a little girl dreaming about that big white wedding with all her friends and family surrounding her flowers and music cake and bridesmaids and groomsmen and the flower carrier and the ring bearer the vows to each other the commitment and unity this day would symbolize. This could not possibly be all there was. She feared that if she stayed, she would never know anything more than what she does now but then she knew if she left, he would eventually track her down again and find some way to drag her back in. But what should she do? Does she stay and risk the chance of this getting worse than it is now and it all ending in her being severely injured or worse dead? Or does she take her chances and leave and take the chance of survival? This left Ginger sad and hurt and confused. She knew what her mind was telling her to do but she knew what her heart was saying too. It was a tough decision for her to make and she could not decide between the less of two evils. She went round and round in her head for a long time and she just could not get her head and heart to agree on the same thing. And right when she thought that all hope was lost and that she had missed her window of opportunity and it was now too late she had waited too long to make her move and she was ready to just give up when it came to her and slapped her like a ton of bricks. It was so clear to her now and she knew what she had to do. If she was going to make it out of this alive, she knew she had to plan of action and get out while the getting was good. He tells her he is going out with the guys and she was not going because he did not want her to embarrass him in front of the guys and to his amazement, she did not put up a fight, she did not try to question him matter of fact she did not even try to beg him to stay. No, she just simply nodded her head said ok and walked out the room. You would think this type of behavior coming from her would have raised red flags, but he did not see them none the less. And he left out for a night of enchantment and fun with the guys and for her this was her chance, this was her way out and if she did not take the chance now chances are, she would never get this chance again. So, she waited by the door and watched him drive out of site, she waited until she could no longer see his brake lights and she jumped into action. She did not have a whole lot of stuff, so she grabbed the two duffle bags she came with threw her belonging in them and out the door she went. She knew she did not have a huge window of time and if she was going to get away from there it had to be quick. She ran down the street to the nearest filling station where she ran to the man behind the counter and asked that he let her use his phone to make a call, he dialed the number for her as Ginger was in no shape she was shaking like a leaf on a tree, she could barely stand up. She was riddled with fear that if she did not get away from there the chances of him coming home only to find she left was greater than as if she would have stayed. Lucky for her ride wasted no time getting to her and getting her gone. Finally, she felt a sense of calm wash over her, but she was not in the clear just yet, she still had the task of finding somewhere safe to go that she could not be found if he decided to come looking for her. Just then she remembered that not long ago she noticed a women's shelter that had recently opened up so she decided to stop in and see if she could stay there for a while and would it be safe for her. She stopped in and walked through the front door and up to a really nice looking woman sitting behind the desk. She told the lady what was happening with her and at once the woman just said " follow me, I'll take you to your room" and without a word being said she follows that nice lady into a room that was fit for a queen. The woman was so kind and gentle and had such a soft sweet voice, it left Ginger with a feeling of safety and security and reassured her that she was safe now and everything was going to be ok. For once she believed the woman as she was telling her this. It was not long that Ginger could finally start with the healing process and move on. It was that moment in time that Ginger looked up towards the clear blue sky as she stands there looking out her bedroom window, she took a deep breath and right then she vowed to herself that she was not now or ever going to be defined by her tragedy, she was not going to be labeled as the one who got away! Ginger was going to come back from all of this. She was not going to live as the remnants of a toxic love.
He Don't Mean It
Becky had just turned 18, just barely a senior in high school, a very smart, sweet girl with a bright future, she could have been anything she wanted to be had she just put her mind to it, she was a very spirited girl with hopes and dreams of doing big things when she got older, as a little girl she always said she wanted to be a paramedic just like her older brother, but in the blink of an eye here she is all grown up and the little girl was gone, now she was a snot nosed, know-it-all teenaged girl who thought she had life all figured out and you could not tell her otherwise. From a mother's perspective there is only so much you can say before you just must let your children figure it out for themselves, but you love them none the less. So that is exactly what Becky's mom did, she stepped back just a little still staying close for when Becky realized she still needed her mom but stayed far enough away to give Becky the space she thought she needed. Not exactly the easiest thing for a mother to do but she did and without discouraging Becky from anything she wanted to do she was supportive and loving. Well Becky was just in the beginning of her senior year in high school when she was introduced to this guy that her best friend knew, and we will call him D.J. Becky being young, starry-eyed, inexperienced, and still wet behind the ears she just longed to love and be loved and find that one true love of her life. Not knowing what to look for in a mate and what to run from she saw nothing but good in everybody and for some reason Becky really seemed to have a thing for the older bad boys, you know the type, troublemakers, ex-cons, newly released from prison bad boys. And that is where D.J comes in. When Becky saw D.J for the first time she was smitten, head over heels for this guy, he had her at hello. Sadly, it did not feel the same for D.J but he sure was good at making her think it did. A smooth talker this D.J was, a silver-tongued devil he was, he could sell ice to an Eskimo and from an outsider looking in you could tell that he was nothing but trouble. They instantly jumped right into a relationship and Becky before she knew it was moved in and living with D.J. According to Becky they really hit it off and he was such an amazing guy, let her tell it and he was nothing short of perfection and things seemed to be going good for a while. Becky seemed to be floating on cloud 9. Then on one fateful day just out of nowhere, it happened and not even Becky saw it coming. He hit her. It was no big deal to him that he hit her but for Becky it shattered her entire world, just totally devastated her that he would do such a thing to her. Suddenly Becky felt as though all this time spent together and invested in each other was all for nothing. For Becky this was the first stage of failure. But where would she go? She did not dare call home. Then it hits her like a ton of bricks and the realization of everything her mom had tried to tell her was true. She felt so ashamed and all she could hear were the words of her mom going over and over in her head saying, " just please be careful, this guy looks like trouble." She then felt so alone and guilty for not listening to her mom's words and dismissing her warnings. All at once all these emotions overflow her mind and she is sad because the one and only man she ever loved had just betrayed her in a major way, angry at herself for not taking heed to her mom's warnings and also for being so blind, depressed because she could not for the life of her figure out what it was that she had done to make him so angry at her, confused because she never saw it coming and does not know why and lost because for some strange reason she still loved him and just knew deep in her heart that he really did not mean to do what he did and if she would not have angered him this would not have happened and strangely enough she forgives him because it really is not his fault this was on her. So, she goes to the bathroom to wipe away the tears, wash her face, gain her composure, and get herself together and go to apologize to him. Little did she know that once a man hits her for the first time it never gets better it only gets worse and worse and worse as time goes by, little did she know that it was only a matter of time and he was going to hit her repeatedly and again, little did she know that the beatings would only get harder and last longer and the violence would eventually get so bad that he was either going to send her to the emergency room or worse to the morgue. If only she had listened to her mom, if only she would have reached out for help, if only she would have told someone anyone and been honest about it, if only she would have known that she was loved and worth something to someone she loved too. Now here it is 10 years later, and it was Becky's 28th birthday, it is just too bad that Becky will not be with her friends and family to celebrate. It has been 10 years since Becky died in the intensive care unit due to her severe and brutal injuries, but if Becky were still here to talk about it the one thing she would have to say is " it was not his fault and he really does not mean it."
A Turn Of Events
Life as she knew it was far from horrible, but it certainly was not anything like she hoped or dreamed it would be. To be honest it had life had exceeded anything she could have ever imagined it being. Amanda was a sweet and simple kind of girl a rather homely kind of girl that grew up in a rink-a-dink, one horse town nestled on the outskirts of Boston, Massachusetts where she grew up with a doting mother and father, an ornery younger brother and their little Boston Terrier dog Scotty. Amanda had the life that most teenage girls her age always wanted, she had it easy. But if you were to ask Amanda, she has just a normal life like anyone else, she was far from spoiled rotten, but she was compared to most girls in her one-horse town a spoiled girl. See Amanda's mother was a highly regarded and well know criminal justice lawyer and her father was one of their states top baby doctors. People from around the world and from miles around would call on him anytime they would experience any kind of complications with their pregnancy or while in labor, he was the best of the best. This was a family that had it all yet you would not think so if you were an outsider looking in, they lived very modestly, they were not ones to go about throwing their money away on a ton of flashy and materialistic things, instead they like to conserve their money and live like the average middle class family. Sure Amanda had an eye for the expensive flashy things like fancy, shiny, new cars and clothing of all the latest fashions and designers but none of that ever really mattered to Amanda, she was quite content with a worn out faded pair of blue jeans, a faded out loose T-shirt, her favorite pair of Chuck Taylor tennis shoes and her hair loosely pulled back into a quick messy bun or pony tail. Amanda rarely took the time to slap on all the makeup that all the other girls were wearing, she was one to really embrace her natural beauty and boy was Amanda beautiful. All the guys wanted her, and all the girls wanted to be her. She was tall about 5'10", she had an amazing coke bottle shape with a small waistline, long legs, long shiny strawberry blonde hair and the most mesmerizing pair of sky-blue eyes you have ever seen. With beauty like hers most moms might encourage their daughters to become a fashion model or participate in beauty pageants or whatnot and believe you me her parents tried but Amanda never could see the sense in all that high profile, constantly in the lime light, flashing cameras everywhere and fans coming out the woodwork nonsense. No Amanda had dreams of a much simpler career, something a little more subtle and a lot less demanding of her time and attention. Amanda had hopes and dreams of being the next local weather girl on the channel 5 news. For a girl of her magnitude she had the looks and the brains and the dedication to be anything under the sun that she could possibly want to be but ever since Amanda was little and had lived in Kansas for a few years and had experienced the unpredictable weather conditions that Kansas is so well known for having she had become so fascinated with the weather and wanting to know more about what causes certain types of storms and weather patterns and the science behind it all, she loved the sounds of a good ole thunder storm, the rain hitting the roof, the wind whistling through the trees, the thunder rolling like a busy bowling alley on senior citizen night, the flash and loud claps of lightning lighting up a dark cloudy night sky but above all that she adored the smell of rain right before the storm and after the storm had stopped and to say the least she was in awe over the bright brilliant colors of a rainbow right after a storm. Amanda would go out after the rain had stopped, sitting on the porch swing staring at the rainbow and wondering if anyone had ever really found the bottom of a rainbow and even though it was an old wives tale she still liked to think about there being a pot of gold at the bottom of that rainbow and to Amanda nothing would make more sense to do any other profession than to get her foot in the door and start out as the next local weather girl. But as time went on and Amanda got older it seemed as though all her hopes and dreams of what she wanted to be when she grew up had started to change and even though she still loved a good rain shower or the sounds of a good thunderstorm her thoughts began to take her in a direction that she never saw coming her way. She began to take an interest in the mental health and wellbeing of the youth in her community and in the world. See Amanda never had any mental illness issues or problems with depression or high anxiety or anything like that but she still knew a lot about the topic because her ornery little brother Bradley was born with a mild case of autism and was diagnosed at the ripe old age of 3 when her parents started noticing little things about Bradley that made him different than most other boys in his age group, things like it would take Bradley slightly longer to learn certain things that most kids his age would grab right on to, or it was harder for Bradley to socialize with the other kids in his class and he was not showing any interest in certain subjects in school like English class because it was hardly too noticeable at first but whenever Bradley would get nervous, or frightened or confused he would stutter just a bit when he talked. So after some several doctor visits and having tests run on him and cat scans of his brain and having done a few EEG tests to measure his brainwaves and patterns it was determined that the now 5 year old, happy go lucky Bradley has a mild case of autism. It is nothing that with a lot of hard work, patience, determination and cooperation and the help from all the doctors and speech therapists, and a good behavioral specialist Bradley could soon learn the coping skills and routines that would help him to deal with his diagnosis and teach him how to in so many ways be able to live a very normal, healthy and functional, thriving life despite his condition. After seeing the changes in Bradley and now his diagnosis and seeing how much more special time and attention it was going to take to help Bradley and give him the best life possible and all the extra patience and understanding it was going to take to help Bradley flourish Amanda began looking into and researching the topic of mental health and illness and autism, and it suddenly came to her attention that to care for and love and raise children with certain autistic characteristics and special needs it would take a special type of person to be able to live with and love and care for and raise a child with such issues, she realized it would take a person with a huge heart and lots of love to give to tend to an autistic child and she knew with all the love and concern and compassion that Amanda had for another human being she knew right then and there that being a mental health and illness specialist of some sort was her true calling in life. So, without much more of another thought she knew the path she was going to take in life. And Amanda did just that. She dove right in, she went for the gusto and took the bull by the horns and she focused all her time and energy into being one of the most important people in an autistic person's life and she was nothing short of amazing. She took all the classes and read all the books and studied for and took all the tests and even though at times it was a hard and daunting task Amanda made it through it all and passed with flying colors and at the top of her class and with honors. And she quickly became the top world-renowned specialists for her tri-state area. And it was one weekend that Amanda had decided to take a little break and take a weekend off from the job she totally adores and she decided to make the trip back to her quaint little one horse town hometown and visit her beloved mother and father and the brother she feels she owes all her skills and success to for the weekend. It was not until Amanda's first night back home and the whole family was back together again and they were all gathered around the family dinner table holding hands and their heads bowed and about to say grace, that it became very clear to Amanda that despite all she had done and learned and been through in her lifetime that this has got to be the best and her all-time favorite turn of events in her life and for that she has truly been blessed and given the ultimate feeling of love peace and happiness and for which she is ultimately grateful.
A Perfect Romance
It was the beginning of summer, it was mildly warm outside, the sun was shining bright, and there was a slight breeze in the air and then there was Jenny. Jenny had just turned 20 and she was to say the least a stunningly beautiful young girl, she was 5 foot 7, thin with an amazing coke bottle shape, thin waist, long, thick, soft and shiny brown hair, hazel eyes, and silky, smooth skin, this girl was adorable, but far from being vain and conceited rather she was a rather shy and humble girl, and everybody just loved her, she was quite the popular girl in her small hometown. See Jenny grew up in a very small town with not many citizens living there, but there was one person in this town that had caught Jenny's attention, his name was Billy. And for the two of them this was the perfect year, a year that neither one would ever soon forget, the year of all years. Billy was also 20 but Billy was 6 months older the Jenny. But that did not matter to Jenny because Jenny was just beside herself, head over heels and completely in love with Billy and rightfully so because Billy was everything she had ever dreamed of. He was 5 foot 9 slightly taller than Jenny, he had a medium caramel complexion, thick, short, slightly wavy medium brown hair, the dreamiest baby blue eyes she had ever seen, a smile that could melt an iceberg, and when it came to Jenny he had a sparkle in his eyes that shined like diamonds and to Jenny he was the man of her dreams, he was the one and only one for her, the one she had waited all her life to find, it was a match made in heaven for both of them. It was as though they were the only two people there and no one else existed. The love Billy had for Jenny was a love like no other, they were in all sense of the words perfect for each other and it showed too, everywhere they would go together they could hear the things people would say as they passed by. Things like " oh my could there be a more perfect couple?" Or " oh wow could there be a couple that could ever look so good together as these two do?" And hearing these things had Jenny just buzzing around like a honeybee because just 3 weeks before this Jenny was caught completely off guard with the surprise of a lifetime when Billy had showed up at Jenny's door all decked out to the nines in a dashing three-piece suit, a little black bow tie, and a pair of shiny black dress shoe on and only one thought on his mind. He timidly yet excitingly walks up to the door of Jenny's house and softly knocks on the door, a few seconds later Jenny comes to the door looking gorgeous as usual, but not wearing anything fancy or special but none the less stunning and with a look of amazement she takes one look at Billy and says, " what is this?" Without saying a thing Billy drops down on one knee, cheeks blushed, he reaches into the pocket of his suit pants and pulls out a small velvet blue box, takes a deep nervous breath and looks Jenny straight in her eyes and says " Jenny I have been madly in love with you from the very first moment I saw you, you have made me feel things I have never felt before, you stole my heart and kept it, I have never been so glad to know any other one person ever, and he took another deep breath and says " Jenny would you make me the happiest man on the face of this earth and be my blushing bride for the rest of my life?" And what seemed to be an eternity was just a few seconds and without a single thought Jenny said " YES!" It was right then that for a moment or two time stood still, and the skies had opened and from the heavens they could see the angels, and suddenly they could hear the most beautiful sound the sound of the angels singing a song of love in their praise, it was truly magical, pure bliss, nothing could ever take away from this moment, they were on cloud 9. As so they should be, after all these two love birds just made it official to unite as one in holy matrimony, Jenny and Billy are so ensconced in the moment that it was as though the whole world had stopped, they could barely contain themselves and the joy and bliss they were feeling. Now here it is some few years later and Jenny and Billy are still as madly in love as they were from the very first day. Jenney seems to have this bright radiant glow about her, not like the usual glow though, there's something different about this glow, and Jenny seems as though she's got something brewing in her brain, it is apparent that she is a bit antsy about something, and rightfully so because she has some really excellent news that she is just bursting at the seams to share with Billy, she's just waiting for that perfect moment, not that every moment with her husband is not perfect but she's just patiently waiting. See Billy has been at work all day and away from home as Billy is now a successful Architect and is so brilliant at what he does he moved on from being employed to being the employer, that is right you guessed it Billy has got his own Architectural business and business is booming and Jenny could not be any happier for him and his success, he never fails to amaze her, to Jenny he is still all of these last few years later the apple of her eye, but with what Jenny has been waiting to tell Billy he is soon to share that spotlight with a tiny bundle of joy. It's finally time for Billy to arrive home from the job and Jenny has it all planned out in how she going to surprise Billy with the wonderful news and she's so excited she has not the time to be nervous, after all Jenny knows Billy and everything about him like she knows the back of her hand and the same goes for Billy about Jenny, there really could not have been a more perfect, made in heaven couple than these two, she just knows that the news she has for him is going to take him over the top with happiness, she has spent all day preparing his favorite meal and desert, and she has it planned to give him one of her famous shoulder rubs as she tells Billy of her joyous news. Well Billy finally makes it home right on schedule as he does every day, they sit down to his favorite meal that she's spent the whole day preparing, she sits Billy down and begins to massage his tense shoulders, about half way through she tells Billy that she has the best news ever to tell him and with the smile she loves so much and his face shining with anticipation Billy looks Jenny in her eyes as she tells him " husband, I got a call from our Dr. today and we are going to be a mommy and daddy!" With a look of shock and amazement and sheer joy in his face Billy quickly leaps up and gently wraps Jenny in his arms as they both begin to cry tears of happiness. Billy cannot believe what he has just heard, and he asks Jenny to tell him one more time for good measure, Jenny is happy to repeat it and tells Billy again that they are soon to be mommy and daddy. But the best news of all is yet to come when Jenny says there is something more to tell him, as he pauses, she says " and it is a boy!" Yes, that's right Jenny is giving Billy the bouncing baby boy he has dreamed of having his whole life. See Billy has always wanted a son to pass on and carry on his name when that day comes for Billy to go home to god and now, he is going to have it! All the sudden Billy turns to Jenny, wraps her in his arms, gently kisses her cheek and says, " This very moment here and now could never have been anything less than perfect, I was given the perfect girlfriend now my perfect wife living the perfect life and now it has become the perfect family making this the perfect romance."
It's a bright and sunny, crisp, cool, Fall day. It is just a lovely day outside, perfect for taking a slow peaceful stroll down and around the way. But instead I'm stating inside with a nice cup of hot apple cider with a cinnamon stick in it, just sipping it slowly as I sit back in my favorite resting chair nestled comfortably in the corner of my living room where I have a bay window that is in just the right spot that with the curtains open the sunlight brightens and warms the whole room, I have my feet up and I'm just leaning back and I'm off in la la land and I'm reminiscing about my earlier years as a child, my most memorable and happiest years of my life. My story begins in 1979 the year I was born. To say the least I had quite a rough start to life but little did I know one special family was going to turn that all around for me. See as I was born I was immediately taken by the state and placed in foster care with a family that had 5 biological children of their own when they got me. Now some might want to praise that family for taking me in but just hear me out before you do. See when they took me in that was when my rough start began, I was just an extra income to them as the male figure was a dietician for the local hospital and the lady stayed home with us kids. I was the least of their concern, I was placed in a baby crib and left there to I guess just decorate the place as this family only had me for 7 months when I was then adopted and placed with the family that was going to change this tragedy that was my life. When I was old enough to understand and comprehend what being adopted was and what it meant I was then 10 years old and my mom was now telling me that I was adopted. And as my mom is telling me how her, my dad and my big brother became my now family and how I was so special to them because they got to choose me out of a long list of other babies who needed homes and I was the one, I was the baby that when they saw me for the first time they instantly knew I was the one they wanted to complete their family. But my mom said my story did not stop there, she goes on to tell me that when the day came that they finally was able to pick me up and take me home they were almost scared to touch me in fear they might hurt me, she tells me that I was so tiny for 7 months, so malnourished and sickly, just skin and bones, and my poor little girl area and legs and inner thighs were just riddled with sores and diaper rash, apparently when this foster family took me in and left me in my crib they rarely changed my diaper and rarely fed me, it is a miracle that I survived. But by the grace of God I was spared and given to a family who just thought more than the world of me and to this day as I'm now an adult at the ripe old age of 41 still thinks the world of me and loves me like no other, as do I for them as well. I really could not have been given or even asked for any better family. As I was raised and grown up with a mom and dad and an older brother, what a blessing. But this is where the memories that fill my mind today come in. As a little girl my most fondest memories take place in Mid Western Kansas in a quaint little town called Hays Kansas, boy did I have some of the best times of my life there. I remember in the winter when the whole town would be covered in a foot or two of snow and school would be canceled there was a park not too far from my house that had this huge and extremely tall hill that at the top of this hill was a chain link fence so you would not fall down the hill. Now to a little girl at the age of 3 maybe 4 this hill was the scariest looking hill but thanks to my big brother we will call him bubba, he showed me that that hill was not as scary as it looked, me and bubba would grab our snow sleds and take off to the park with the giant hill. Upon getting to the park we would drag our sled all the way up to the very top of the hill, bubba got in the sled first then put me in front between his legs, wrap his arms around me so I would not fly off the sled, and then bubba would say to me, Amy Jo are you ready for this, scared but excited I looked at bubba and with a smile I replied yeah bubba I'm ready, holding on to bubba as tight as I could he pushes the sled over the top of the hill and with a big and fast swoosh we were flying down this hill. Laughing all the way to the bottom the sled comes to a stop and I look at bubba with a big grin on my face saying again, again bubba again! So we would make our way back to the top of the hill and down we go again, it was a blast. Now when I got a little bit older and it was now the summer time and I had learned to ride my bike and without my training wheels bubba and I would take our bikes and go to that very park with the same huge hill and we would walk our bikes at the way to the top and at the count of three we hop on our bikes and fast as lightning we rode our bikes down the hill. Up and down, up and down we rode our bikes and had the time of our lives. Now as the years went by and bubba was now old enough to drive he got his first car. Bubba loved this car as it was not the traditional car that most kids would pick as their first car, no bubba had a car that no other teenage boy had. Bubba picked an old retired mail truck for his first car, now I know what you're thinking. A mail truck? Who would want a mail truck as a first car? Well let me tell you, my bubba did and he loved that car like no other. He took that old mail truck, and a can of dusty blue exterior house paint and painted that mail truck blue. In the back of this mail truck as you can imagine were these two metal bench seats, one on each side. Bubba had got two long padded camouflage cushions which he used to line the benches so people could ride in the back. I was to scared to ride up front as the passenger side of the mail truck did not have a door, so I took pleasure of riding in the back. I had so much fun riding in that mail truck because every time bubba would hit a bump I would bounce and hit my head on the roof of the mail truck. I would just laugh and laugh and not feel a thing as I was just happy to be riding with my bubba. Now as you can imagine as with any teenage boy as he gets older he gets less and less bothered by hanging out with his baby sister, because now he's on to new adventures as he's now interested in girls and dating and going out on the weekends and hanging with his guy pals, you know the normal average things that teen boys do, bubba got himself a girlfriend which gave me the opportunity to get on my brothers last nerve. See I was always the ornery one, some might say up to no good, I would say just being a typical baby sister and trying to annoy my big brother, to which I did so well. Bubbas girlfriend would always call in the evenings and bubba would be on the phone for hours or so it seemed like, bubba had his own phone in his bedroom down in the basement, mom and dad had another phone upstairs in their bedroom, and every night when bubba's girlfriend would call I would sneak upstairs to my parents room quietly pick up the phone, trying my hardest not to laugh and give myself away I would sit for a few minutes and just listen, then all the sudden out of nowhere I would scream into the phone saying " lovers lovers kiss kiss kiss kiss!" and then bubba would scream " Amy Jo hang up the damn phone!" I would hear him tell his girlfriend " let me call you right back, I'm gonna kill my little sister!" Then I would drop the phone and take off running through the house like a half crazed maniac because I knew if bubba caught up to me I was in for some trouble, I would go running into the kitchen where mom would be cooking and I would hide behind mom, and as mom is telling me " stop running in the house!" She was also telling bubba " leave your sister alone!' Now you know I could not let it stop with that. Right? So I would peek around mom cackling like a hyena and pointing at bubba saying " ha ha ha ha you got in trouble!" Then mom would look at me and say " and you little missy will be in trouble too if you do not stop antagonizing your brother!" Boy looking back now those were the days, such wonderful memories. Now to top that the holidays around our home were just as special too. When Halloween would come around my bubba and I would be busy coming up with our costumes and naturally I was into the ballerina and princess type stuff and bubba, well bubba was into the vampire and scary things like that with the fake fang teeth and the fake blood on his face he would come sneaking up from downstairs and try to scare the bejesus out of me and succeeded at it every darn time, not so funny then but quite comical now looking back at it. Now Summer has come back around and in North Western Kansas it seemed like every year when tornado season would rear it's ugly head that part of the region would always get hit the most and the worst so you can imagine the damage done to all the homes and roofs and whatnot, well our house got hit pretty hard that year and we needed a new roof and instead of doing what most families would have done and just called a roofer to come fix the roof dad enlists the help from bubba and they do it themselves. Well in the mix of all of this bubba climbs down from the roof to grab dad another bundle of shingles and on his way back up to the roof bubba steps on a nail, it goes all the way through the bottom of his shoe and we are now taking bubba to the ER to get the nail taken out and get him a tetanus shot. What a day that was. I could go on and on forever with all the fond and happy memories that I was blessed with throughout my entire life, but just thinking of those few has filled my heart with so much joy and comfort, and to think had my story began and went in the opposite direction I may not have even made it to this point to have the opportunity to write and share all this with you. God bless the families who have the capacity to love someone outside of their family so much so that they take babies like me in and raise us as their own and provide us with such great lives that we have such wonderful things to share and talk about later. And adding to that I would like to take my last moment to say Mom, Dad and Bubba thank you for loving me so much you took me in, loved me and made me into the person I am today! I couldn't love another person any more than I love you guys! Thanks again, your daughter and sister, Amy Jo.
A Sultry Summer
It's been a typical week, nothing too exciting has happened just the same typical stuff but for some reason or another it's been a long week, physically it feels the same as any other week but mentally it feels different somehow, almost as though something is missing. I can't seem to shake this feeling that there's something that I'm lacking, but what? What could I be missing out on? What is it that I'm needing that I don't already have? I sit here going through the events of this week and I can't quite put my finger on it. Is there something I wanted to do and didn't? Is there somewhere I wanted to go and couldn't? I sit here racking my brain and I just can't figure out what it is that has me feeling like something is missing or just isn't right so to take my mind off of this feeling I grab the TV remote and flip to my favorite channel and bunker down for the night. As I'm watching my shows I get a text from a number I'm not familiar with, and it's not just the average text saying " hey how are you?" but a text saying " I miss you, and I still want you." Thrown for a loop my curiosity starts to run wild, who could this be? Could it just be a mistaken number? So instead of replying I just shake it off and go back to watching my shows. A few minutes later I get another text from the same number but this one was a bit spicier than the last. This one said " I love your body, I need it and crave it." Now my curiosity is running ramped so this time I answer, but not with a similar response but with " who is this?" Suddenly I get a reply " this is your favorite lover." I chuckled and thought to myself, my favorite lover. Hmmm. I thought this is odd but with my interest peaked, I continued to respond. I sent back a reply saying " give me a hint." And when I got no response back I just thought maybe this person figured out they had the wrong number. So again I go back to my shows, and all the sudden another text comes in but this time even spicier. This time the message said " It was many years ago, we were young then, I had just moved to town, I was new and nervous, I didn't know anyone, I was walking the hall of our school looking and feeling lost, I wasn't watching where I was walking and we bumped into each other, we both looked up and we locked eyes, you gave me a smile that seemed to light the whole place up, I gave you a goofy yet nervous smile back, you said " Hi I'm Jenny, what's your name?" I was at a loss for words, you were absolutely stunning and beautiful standing there with your right hand extended waiting for me to reply and shake your hand, a minute or two went by although it seemed like an eternity, I reached out and shook your hand and with a real shaky voice I said, " Hi Jenny I'm jack." That entire moment was totally magical for me, I knew right then I had to know more about you, I couldn't help feeling like we were going to be more than just friends." And the text ended there. All the sudden it was as though a light bulb went off above my head, my heart and mind started racing, and it all came flooding back. I thought to myself " could it be? " Could it really be Jack? The guy I fell so deeply in love with all those years ago? So I decided to ask a question that only Jack could know the answer to. So I responded with " on our first date we went to the Dairy Queen for ice cream, you got a vanilla cone and I got a chocolate dipped cone, we ate our cones and then went down by the river, we rolled up our pant legs and took off our socks and shoes, sat down on the bank and stuck our feet in the water, you noticed the birth mark on the calf of my left leg, what was the shape of my birth mark?" A minute or two went by and he answered, he said " it was in the shape of a heart." he goes on to say " I remember it distinctly because I remember saying it felt like it was a sign, a sign that we were meant to meet and be more than just friends." My eyes got wide, my chin dropped and I gasped. And in the silence of the moment I just yelled, " It is! It's Jack! It's really Jack!" I was in total shock! I couldn't believe that after all these years he still remembered me! More than that he still thought about me! It was then that I could feel the butterflies in my tummy all over again, it was like the first day we met! My heart was racing, I began to shake. so much so I dropped my phone. The next thing I knew I had a smile 10 miles wide on my face and I couldn't stop smiling. And all the sudden the events of that summer came rushing back to me as though they had just happened. I started to feel hot and flushed in the face from the memories that came to mind. It was our first and only summer together, and we were inseparable, we did everything together, one summer day we were on a picnic, I wanted to look good for him so I put on my cutest yet somewhat short summer dress and a matching pair of flip flops, there was a slight breeze in the air, just enough that it wasn't to hot outside it was perfect, little did I know that it was perfect for more than just a picnic, Jack and I met at our favorite spot along the river, it was quiet and semi hidden, we deemed it our spot. We laid down the blanket I had brought for us to sit on and we ate our sandwiches, we talked and laughed and held hands, suddenly we stopped laughing and looked up into each others eyes and without a word or both of us even knowing what was about to happen we locked lips and before we knew it we were both smack dab in the middle of our first kiss, it was so romantic, suddenly his arms were no longer at his side as they were wrapped around me embracing me in his arms he pulled me closer to him pressing my body against his so tight, I wanted to stop but couldn't, for some reason it just felt so right, our bodies pressed together, his arms holding me so tight, his lips were so soft and smooth and I was wearing a cherry flavored lip gloss I had just found at the dollar store on one of me and my mothers shopping trips, suddenly i feel his hand on my chest and he was caressing my lady lumps ever so gently, to say the least I was a bit shocked but I liked it, it was almost like this was the moment I had longed for ever since we met, so I pushed out my chest allowing him to continue, it was turning me on in a big way, suddenly we stopped kissing and I could feel his silky soft lips gently kissing my neck, his breathe was hot and sweet, it was ending shivers down my spine, I couldn't help but to reciprocate, one thing lead to another and some would say for two younger kids we took it way too far that day, we say it felt so right. That day changed my life forever, I was so deeply in love with Jack I knew that he was the one, the one for me. Well later that evening changed the entire course of this love story as my parents announced that my dad had accepted a job offer in another state and that we were going to be moving, I was so devastated, I had finally found the one for me and now I was moving, I was breathless, it was as though time stood still. Now here it is 12 years later, I'm still single, never had a boyfriend since I was with Jack, and he's texting me. Once again time was standing still, my heart was skipping beats, my pulse was racing, and before my brain could catch up to my mouth I text Jack back and blurted out" this is my address, come by at 2, I'll be ready and waiting, I can't wait to see you, I hope you really do come by". And I looked at the time it was only 45 minutes till 2. I had to hurry, what was I going to wear? Should I wear red? No blue? No White? I looked up and what did I see? But the dress I wore on that fateful day that changed my life forever! The day I fell in love with Jack! Well seeing as this was a dress I wore so many years ago chances are it wouldn't even fit anymore, but then again I really hadn't changed that much since then, I was still tall and lanky, thin and fit so I decided to try it on. And to my surprise it still fits! And I must say I still looked stunning in it! So it's settled I knew what I was going to wear! Suddenly I glanced down at the time, OH NO! I said out loud. 15 minutes! I only had 15 minutes until 2! I really had to hurry now. No time to wash my hair so I grabbed my brush and gave my hair a quick comb through grabbed my hair scrunchie and threw it quickly back into a ponytail. Ok now I'm ready, I slipped on a matching pair of flip flops grabbed my phone and went dashing down the stairs to wait by the door to see if the man I fell desperately in love with all those years ago was going to come swooping through that door, sweeping me off my feet and swaddling me in his strong and loving arms like he did all those years ago. It's now 5 minutes till 2 and my excitement has now turned into sheer panic, what if he doesn't love me anymore? What if he doesn't feel the same way anymore? What if he's happy being single now? And what's worse what if he's married and happy now? No I told myself, stop jumping to conclusions, you're going to ruin the moment before it has the chance to happen. So I took a deep breath and calmed myself down, and just then it was like magic all over again! Before I knew it Jack had come swooping through the door, rushed over to me with lightning speed, grabbed me up with his strong loving arms, swaddled me in his embrace, pressing my body against his, and kissing me in the most hot, seductive, passionate, long kiss I'd ever had in my life! When we finally stopped kissing Jack looked me dead in my eyes, gave me his smile that I loved so much, told me how much he'd been missing me and how he never stopped thinking about me not for one second, he dropped down on one knee, pulled this fancy, velvet, tiny box out of his pocket, shaking and with a sparkle in his eye, and a tear rolling down his blushing red cheek he says " Jenny you have always been and will always be the love of my life and the only one I could ever see myself being with and the only one I want to spend the rest of my life with! Will you make me the happiest man on earth and be my wife till the end of time?" And without one thought I said YES! It was then that very moment that I finally figured out exactly what it was that I was lacking! I finally found what I was missing out on.