Lesson Learned

Sarah and John were the model couple. They first met in college at a pep rally just hours before the big football game that night. Sarah was standing in a circle just talking and laughing it up with 3 of her closest friends when this tall, buff, athletic blonde haired and blue-eyed jock from the football team was not paying any attention to where he was going had walked up behind Sarah and bumped into her causing her to drop all the books, notebooks, and folders, she was holding scattering them all over the place and nearly knocking her to the ground. Without any hesitation Sarah hollers out " hey, watch where you're going bub!" Catching John completely off guard he instantly looks up and says " Gosh, I'm so sorry, I was not watching where I was going." Then a split-second later Sarah and John happen to look up and lock eyes for forever but was only a minute if that, but it was the most powerful minute in history for them. Sarah not taking her eyes off John quickly bends down and starts to gather her books, notebooks and folders up off the sidewalk and John not taking his eyes off Sarah says " where are my manners? Allow me to help you with that." And with an innocent yet flirtatious smile Sarah just says " ok." Sarah looks at John and introduces herself and John answered her by introducing himself. From that moment on life was never going to be the same for these two because the very next day they were meeting up for a cup of coffee and a bagel at the small bistro they had there on the campus. And what was only supposed to be an hour-long meeting at the latest they ended up talking and laughing and flirting and smiling and really enjoying each other's company for 5 hours. They were so engaged in the moment and so fascinated by each other that they had totally lost track of time. It is a good thing neither one of them had any classes that day because if they had they would not have made it. While all this was going on Sarah looks up and just happened to catch a glance at the clock on the wall when she realized just how late it had got to be when she let out an unexpected gasp and says " goodness gracious! Would you look at the time?" She goes on to say " I really hate to end this, but it is getting late and I have a test I need to study for in the morning. I really should get back to my dorm room now." John just smiled sweetly and agrees and says '" Ok well at least let me walk you to your building, no girl such as yourself should be walking alone this late in the evening." Sarah gives John a grin and gracefully accepts his gesture. From then on, these two love birds were inseparable, they did everything together, they even graduated together and went on to get jobs in the same office after graduation. This turned into them dating for another 4 years when without giving any clues or hints to Sarah John had secretly planned this elaborate and romantic date night for him and Sarah. The night started out with drinks at the bar in the most expensive and exclusive restaurant in town, then a candle light dinner for two with a nice quiet table back off in the corner of the room allowing them all the privacy needed for John to surprise Amanda with what he had been planning for the last two months, they got seated, their waiter had got their drinks and took their orders and had walked away, Sarah and John were deep in conversation when John slowly reaches across the table taking both of Sarah hands and holding them in his, he looks Sara square in her eyes, gives a nervous grin, he stands up next to Sarah just to drop down on one knee, slowly pulling a small blue velvet box out of one of the pockets in his pants, he looks Sarah in her eyes again and with a tear rolling slowly down his cheek John takes a deep nervous breath and says " Sarah, from the moment we met I knew instantly that you were the girl I had been waiting my entire life to meet, and I knew that no matter what I had to make you mine, and I did, now here it is some few years later and every moment I get to be with you and spend time with you feels like I did the day we first met, I could not be any happier than I am today so would you make me the happiest man alive and be all mine for the rest of our lives? Sarah will you marry me?" Sarah looks at John, tears rolling down her rosy pink cheeks, she is trembling, in shock, Sarah gasps for air and without a moment of hesitation she throws herself to the floor, wraps her arms around John and begins to shake and she looks John in his eyes and says YES! Sarah said yes! Well, it was not but 6 months later and Sarah was meeting John at the alter in a huge white Catholic church, surrounded by hundreds of family members and friends and John's family and friends, all decked out in flowers and candles and decorations galore, John and Sarah are saying their vows to each other and saying Idol and at last it is time for everyone's favorite moment, the bride gets to kiss the groom. Sarah and John are now Mr. and Mrs. John Matthews. This blessed event turns into many years of love, joy, happiness, and bliss followed by the births of their 3 glorious children 2 boys and a girl all of which were exactly 2 years apart. But this is where things start to get tricky. Sarah had left her job at the office to be a stay-at-home mom to their children. Sarah soon found herself smack dab in the middle of getting the kids up every morning, cooking their breakfast, packing their lunches, taking them to school and picking them up at 3. But it does not stop there. Sarah had Ballet lessons for her daughter, soccer, and football practices for the 2 boys, parent teacher conferences, PTA meetings, music concerts, plays, making sure the kids got their homework done every night after cooking dinner and feeding her family etc. All the classic duties of the average homemaker. But that was not all that had changed. Sarah had noticed a huge change in John too. John had started working more hours than normal, working late more often throughout the week, coming home later on the days he left work at his usual time, she noticed that John was becoming more and more distant with her and the kids, he was becoming more and more easily irritated by Sarah in general, he stopped going to any of the kids school functions and activities, he seemed to be depressed a lot, he was talking less to Sarah about things that were going on with him, they stopped sleeping in the same bed together and John had moved to sleeping in their guest room, he had become so withdrawn from anything that had to do with their family so much so the children began to take notice. Something was amiss, and Sarah just could not figure it out, she too became depressed and withdrawn and had started separating herself from John and the kids. Things had gotten so bad between them that they finally had to hire a live-in babysitter just to tend to their children and keep them from noticing more of what was happening with mom and dad. Sarah always being the stronger one of the two had begun putting two and two together and started trying to figure out just what was going on with her husband. She could not help but to repeatedly ask herself how was it that after all these years together and having and raising their three wonderful children together could this marriage be falling apart all the sudden? She started to blame herself for everything that was going on. She could not help but to think about what it was that she had done or said or not done or not said that was so wrong that it caused all of this to happen? Was she not being the wife she needed to be for John? Was she not being the mother she needed to be for their kids? Was she not taking care of the home, right? Was she not performing correctly or as good as she should be in the bedroom? Had her appearance become so bad that she was no longer attractive to John? Was there something more she should be doing to make him happy? Where was all this coming from? Sarah never had been one to jump to conclusions and assume stuff about anything, but this really had her baffled and it was starting to take a toll on her wellbeing. All the sudden all these different scenarios began to flood her mind. She started to ask herself could all this be happening because John has another woman on the side somewhere. Could her husband that she loved so much and doted over be stepping out on their marriage and family to be with someone else? Could John be having an affair on all the nights he says he has to work late? She did not want to think the worst and she sure did not want to jump to conclusions and she sure was not going to accuse him of something she had no proof of, but she had to do something, she had to know what was taking her husband and the father to her children away from her and his family, she had to put these suspicions to rest finally. Sarah started recording all their phone calls, going through his phone at night while he slept, reading his emails, and even hired a private investigator to follow John for a while to see if she could find the underlying cause of all this nonsense. Sarah was so wrapped up in getting answers to all her suspicions and questions that she did not stop to think that when all is said and done, and she finds out what John is up to and she finally has an answer to all her questions that the answer she gets just might not be the answer she wants and is looking for. Well, this went on for about two weeks while the private investigator did what he was hired to do, when it had finally come down to Sarah getting some answers. She meets up with the investigator and he start to show her his findings. As she is listening to what all the investigators had seen she realized that her suspicions were true. John was cheating on Sarah with a 26-year-old red headed slutty bimbo that happened to work in the same office as John. Sarah fought as hard as she could to contain her emotions and to keep from falling apart, she had just found out that her life as she knew it was ending and things from here on out were never going to be the same again. She was devastated, crushed, in total disbelief, she was speechless, she felt lost. This would explain all the weirdness that she had been going through these past several months but that still did not make any of this better, it certainly did not make her feel any better. All Sarah wanted to do was give up and give up all together. Then suddenly a vision of her kids flashed in her eyes and she realized no matter how bad she was hurting and how much she just wanted to run away for the sake of her 3 children she had to suck it up and stay strong and never let on to her kids that she was dying inside. So, with that in mind she just swallowed her pride and did the best she could to keep the rest of her family together. After a while thing began to get better and she was coping with things a lot better. The divorce was finalized just 6 months after their separation, Sarah kept the house and the kids and the car, John moved in with the new floozie, the kids stopped asking about dad and life was getting back on track. Things were going good again. Now it has been about 4 years since the divorce and Sarah has moved on with her life and kids and the only thing that weighs on her mind today is if he can leave her so easily for a newer and younger girl, she did not need that in her life anyway. But the one thing that has really brought her the most satisfaction is knowing one thing and that is that if he will leave her, he will also leave his new girl it is just a matter of time because as the age old saying goes...... You cannot make people change their ways. Once a leaver always a leaver. Lesson learned.