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The Remnants Of A Toxic Love

by Amy McGuffey about a year ago in humanity
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A shell of her former self

The Remnants Of A Toxic Love
Photo by Edgar Chaparro on Unsplash

Love can be many things, it can be a good thing, bad thing and so much more and it can take you to places you have never known before. It can be a true blessing or in some cases a curse and it very easily broken all too often these days which sets the scene for this story. See Ginger was the kind of girl that loved deeply, hard, unconditionally and to the fullest. See when Ginger was only 18, she met a guy that she fell head over heels for the moment she first laid eyes on him and she couldn't have been happier. Well as the saying goes all good thing must come to an end and boy did it! Only this came to a crashing halt and without a moment's notice. If anything in life could have broken Ginger this is the straw that broke the camel's back. See Ginger never did anything half assed, when she committed herself to anything she always jumped in with both feet, and balls to the wall it was all or nothing for her. For Ginger meeting him was no accident, she saw him, and she saw stars and knew that he was the one she had been looking for. Now what it was like for him God only knows but if it was not the same for him, he sure was good at making it look like it was. Everything seemed to be going so well for a while and one day it was like something inside of him just snapped. Suddenly it no longer mattered what Ginger said or did or did not say or did not do nothing was ever good enough and if you know anything about love a girl you know that the quickest way to break a woman down is to make her feel or think that she inadequate and like she does not measure up. And that is exactly what he ended up doing. He took a girl that was strong willed, independent, secure in her own skin, confident and outgoing and turned her into a scared, withdrawn, insecure, paranoid, jealous, mistrusting, co-dependent, lacking self-worth and confidence shell of her former self. To say the least if you knew Ginger before all of this you would not have been able to recognize her after. Even Ginger noticed the drastic change in herself, but she did not try to do anything about it because she thought this was her normal. This was her life now and any relationship that followed this one was doomed before it got a chance to start. She would never be who she used to be again. So, this is how life really is for couples? This could not possibly be how love was meant to be. This is nothing like she imagined it as a little girl dreaming about that big white wedding with all her friends and family surrounding her flowers and music cake and bridesmaids and groomsmen and the flower carrier and the ring bearer the vows to each other the commitment and unity this day would symbolize. This could not possibly be all there was. She feared that if she stayed, she would never know anything more than what she does now but then she knew if she left, he would eventually track her down again and find some way to drag her back in. But what should she do? Does she stay and risk the chance of this getting worse than it is now and it all ending in her being severely injured or worse dead? Or does she take her chances and leave and take the chance of survival? This left Ginger sad and hurt and confused. She knew what her mind was telling her to do but she knew what her heart was saying too. It was a tough decision for her to make and she could not decide between the less of two evils. She went round and round in her head for a long time and she just could not get her head and heart to agree on the same thing. And right when she thought that all hope was lost and that she had missed her window of opportunity and it was now too late she had waited too long to make her move and she was ready to just give up when it came to her and slapped her like a ton of bricks. It was so clear to her now and she knew what she had to do. If she was going to make it out of this alive, she knew she had to plan of action and get out while the getting was good. He tells her he is going out with the guys and she was not going because he did not want her to embarrass him in front of the guys and to his amazement, she did not put up a fight, she did not try to question him matter of fact she did not even try to beg him to stay. No, she just simply nodded her head said ok and walked out the room. You would think this type of behavior coming from her would have raised red flags, but he did not see them none the less. And he left out for a night of enchantment and fun with the guys and for her this was her chance, this was her way out and if she did not take the chance now chances are, she would never get this chance again. So, she waited by the door and watched him drive out of site, she waited until she could no longer see his brake lights and she jumped into action. She did not have a whole lot of stuff, so she grabbed the two duffle bags she came with threw her belonging in them and out the door she went. She knew she did not have a huge window of time and if she was going to get away from there it had to be quick. She ran down the street to the nearest filling station where she ran to the man behind the counter and asked that he let her use his phone to make a call, he dialed the number for her as Ginger was in no shape she was shaking like a leaf on a tree, she could barely stand up. She was riddled with fear that if she did not get away from there the chances of him coming home only to find she left was greater than as if she would have stayed. Lucky for her ride wasted no time getting to her and getting her gone. Finally, she felt a sense of calm wash over her, but she was not in the clear just yet, she still had the task of finding somewhere safe to go that she could not be found if he decided to come looking for her. Just then she remembered that not long ago she noticed a women's shelter that had recently opened up so she decided to stop in and see if she could stay there for a while and would it be safe for her. She stopped in and walked through the front door and up to a really nice looking woman sitting behind the desk. She told the lady what was happening with her and at once the woman just said " follow me, I'll take you to your room" and without a word being said she follows that nice lady into a room that was fit for a queen. The woman was so kind and gentle and had such a soft sweet voice, it left Ginger with a feeling of safety and security and reassured her that she was safe now and everything was going to be ok. For once she believed the woman as she was telling her this. It was not long that Ginger could finally start with the healing process and move on. It was that moment in time that Ginger looked up towards the clear blue sky as she stands there looking out her bedroom window, she took a deep breath and right then she vowed to herself that she was not now or ever going to be defined by her tragedy, she was not going to be labeled as the one who got away! Ginger was going to come back from all of this. She was not going to live as the remnants of a toxic love.

humanity

About the author

Amy McGuffey

I have a healthy imagination, a eventful reality, and a very creative mind, I'm here to put it to good use and share my stories with the world, I hope you enjoy my content. Some is real and some is not either way enjoy.

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