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Why Do Men Hate Women? Unveiling the Fear of the Feminine

Understanding Men's Hatred of Women

By ILYAS KHANPublished 4 months ago 4 min read
Unveiling the Fear Understanding Men's Hatred of Women


At first glance, the title of this article may seem sensational or even offensive. However, it stems from a profound question posed to me by a female colleague. In light of the prevailing issues of femicide, gender-based violence, domestic abuse, and gender inequality, she asked me a challenging question: "Why do men hate women?" Delving into this complex query,

I embarked on a journey of research and introspection, seeking to shed light on this matter.

Unveiling Masculinity: Robert Brannan's Research

To understand the underlying reasons for male animosity towards women, we can turn to the work of Robert Brannan, a researcher from the 1970s. Brannan sought to decipher and categorize masculinity, ultimately revealing four fundamental pillars that encapsulate the concept.

The first pillar, "Be the sturdy oak," emphasizes the importance of strength, unwavering stability, and rootedness in traditional masculinity. The second pillar, "Be a big wheel," centers around achievement, success, and the glorification of power and leadership. The third pillar, "Give him hell," perpetuates the notion of "boys will be boys," encouraging impulsive behavior and shooting from the hip. However, the most relevant pillar for our discussion is the fourth one: "No stuff." This pillar encompasses the outright rejection and repudiation of anything feminine.

My Experience: Bullying and Gender Expression

Reflecting on my personal experiences, I recall being bullied as a young boy. At that time, I was labeled as "gay," which was used as a derogatory term. In retrospect, I realize that the bullies were not attacking my sexuality; we were too young to fully comprehend such concepts. Instead, they targeted my gender expression, which leaned toward femininity or effeminacy. This realization led me to understand that men have been conditioned to hate women and to repudiate anything feminine within themselves.

The Repudiation of the Feminine

Throughout our upbringing, societal expectations teach men to reject and repel femininity. We are influenced by norms that dictate what we wear, how we speak, and even the colors we choose. A prevailing belief ingrained in us is that to be a "real man," we must detest anything associated with women. Consequently, this mindset shapes how we engage with women and perceive their existence.

Hating Women as a Reflection of Internalized Self-Hate

Men's hatred of women does not stem from the intrinsic nature of women themselves. Instead, it arises from the profound self-loathing instilled within men due to the rejection of their own feminine aspects. Women become the external representation of everything men have been taught to despise within themselves. This phenomenon can be described as "femme phobia," an ingrained fear of the feminine.

Embracing Both Masculine and Feminine Aspects

To move forward, men must acknowledge that masculinity and femininity coexist within all individuals. By unlocking and nurturing the feminine aspects within us, we can challenge the idea that hating women is a prerequisite for being a "real man." It is crucial to recognize that we are not confined to rigid gender roles and expectations. True strength lies in embracing the richness of our multifaceted identities.

Redefining Masculinity for a More Inclusive Future

As a society, we must question and redefine traditional norms and expectations of masculinity. We should encourage emotional expression, sensitivity, and vulnerability, allowing men to break free from the constraints of toxic masculinity. By embracing a broader definition of manhood, we can create a more inclusive and compassionate future for everyone.


In conclusion, the initial perception of this article's title may seem shocking, but its essence lies in addressing an important question: "Why do men hate women?" The roots of this issue lie deep within the societal conditioning of men to reject femininity. The path forward involves nurturing and accepting the feminine aspects within ourselves while challenging the notion that hating women is necessary for true masculinity. By embracing a more inclusive and balanced view of gender, we can foster healthier relationships and create a world that celebrates the entirety of human identity.


Q: Is it natural for men to hate women?

A: No, hatred is not a natural inclination. Men are influenced by societal conditioning that propagates the rejection of femininity, leading to hostility towards women.

Q: Can men overcome the fear of the feminine?

A: Yes, by acknowledging and nurturing their own feminine aspects, men can move beyond their fear and embrace a more holistic understanding of themselves and others.

Q: Does embracing femininity make men less masculine?

A: Embracing femininity does not diminish masculinity. Instead, it enriches one's understanding of gender and promotes a healthier and more authentic expression of individuality.

Q: What role can women play in this transformation?

A: Women can play a crucial role by fostering an environment that encourages men to explore their feminine side, offering support and acceptance while challenging traditional gender norms.

Q: How can society promote gender equality and understanding?

A: Society can promote gender equality by educating individuals about the harmful effects of gender stereotypes, encouraging empathy, and dismantling systemic barriers that perpetuate inequality.

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