Update On My Anxiety Journey

A few weeks ago, I had posted about my journey with anxiety, and how it had been the reason I haven’t been around. I wanted to give an update on how things have been going with my anxiety journey.

I’ve been meaning to give an update when I hit the one-month mark of my new medication, but I haven’t gotten around to it. Luckily, that’s because I’ve been busy as opposed to just anxious, but I won’t get ahead of the story.

My Anxiety Was Nearly Cripping

To recap, my anxiety had gotten to the point of nearly crippling me. I was planted on my couch, unable to focus on anything except finding a solution, and even then, all I could do was cry. It got to the point where I went 2 to 3 days of barely eating or sleeping. The only thing I could do was go for walks, but that was a temporary solution. Eventually, I had to come home and continue to face my anxiety.

While I did reach out to my general practitioner about changing my medication, I knew I was going to need more help than that, especially when even he suggested I also see a psychiatrist.

I Wound Up Starting A New Medication

My general practitioner agreed to start me on 10 mg of Lexapro, as Sertraline was no longer working after being on it for over 10 years. My psychiatrist didn’t change the medication or up the dosage, so I’m assuming he’s fine with me being on Lexapro. He did prescribe a low dosage of Klonopin after discovering that I’ve been having panic attacks. Lexapro can raise your anxiety as you adjust to it, so he did give me permission to take Klonopin daily for the first few weeks.

Where I’m At A Month Later

I was prescribed Lexapro and Klonopin on the same day, so my one-month mark for both was April 14th. Now, I know it can take 2 to 3 months or so for Lexapro to reach its full effect, but I’ve definitely noticed gradual changes over the first month. My anxiety was becoming more manageable, and I was able to approach tasks, situations, etc. with a clear head again. I’m not going to pretend it worked right away, but I’m definitely in a much better spot than I was before I switched to it. My appetite is back. While my dogs make it hard for me to sleep through the night sometimes, at least it’s not my anxiety keeping me awake.

One-Month Follow-Up With My Psychiatrist

My one-month follow-up with my psychiatrist took place a few months after the one-month mark of being on my new medication. We discussed how I was doing, and how there were some painful memories (i.e., two years of Mom’s health starting to decline, which led to her eventual passing), and he decided to refill my Klonopin, just in case I needed it. It’s still on the same low dose. We’re keeping the Lexapro at 10 mg for now, but I have another follow-up at the end of May. I feel he could tell there was a difference in me from our first virtual appointment, in which I barely had an appetite and was practically sleep-deprived.

Good Days and Bad Days

Like anyone, I have my good and bad days. I still have morning anxiety at times, especially if I’m jolted out of my sleep for any reason. However, I haven’t taken a Klonopin since the weekend of April 15th and 16th, and maybe that Monday, April 17th, which was the two-year anniversary of watching my Mom pass out and fall down several stairs. :( Otherwise, the anxiety I’ve had off and on has been more manageable, and when I have morning anxiety, it usually passes quicker than in March. The Klonopin is there when and if I need it, but I don’t need to take it daily anymore.

I’ve been able to focus more on my tasks, and even multitask as needed. I’m finding joy in things again. Am I cured of my anxiety? No. I mean, are we ever really cured of it? I guess that depends on the person. Plus, I’ve always been an over worrier and an overthinker, and I wonder if that was a sign of anxiety even as a child.

I’m still in virtual therapy once a week, but it’s for the best anyway because I still have more reminders of Mom’s passing coming up, including the actual two-year anniversary of her passing on August 15th.

However, I’m having more good days, and I’m feeling more like myself again. I just celebrated “NKOTB Day” the other day, which is something related to my favorite band (New Kids On The Block). For a while, I barely even listened to them, which is honestly not like me. I’m watching my favorite movies and TV shows again, playing Animal Crossing (which I started because of my anxiety, and I just love it), and I even enrolled in HubSpot Academy’s SEO course (which I can take at my own pace).

I’m Determined To Keep Things Manageable

For some of us, anxiety is a never-ending battle, but I’m determined to keep it manageable for the long haul. I’ll reach out to my loved ones and medical professionals as needed, and I’ll continue to take my Lexapro every night. If I wind up having to take antidepressants for the rest of my life to manage my anxiety, then I’m okay with that.

I’m also getting outside as much as possible, and I have outlets that allow me to just relax, such as music, movies, and Animal Crossing. I’ve also added vitamin D3 to my routine, which I’m taking once a day, because a vitamin D deficiency can contribute to anxiety and depression. Furthermore, I want to start journaling again, and maybe at some point, I’ll give meditation a try. It was difficult when my anxiety was through the roof, but it may be worth practicing again now that my mind is more clear. I also need to start eating better (and by that, I mean making healthier choices).

My Advice? Listen To Your Needs

I want to share a bit of advice because I don’t want you all to struggle (or continue to struggle) with anxiety or depression. Listen to your needs. Your mental and physical needs. Get some fresh air or rest when needed, reach out to your loved ones, and if possible, talk to a medical professional. As I’ve said before, your mental health is precious, and you cannot be at your best if you’re not taking care of yourself.

If you’re struggling, please know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and you’ll get through it.

I have previously published this story on another platform. You can find the link to the original version here: https://medium.com/@tammys_85/where-have-i-been-ive-been-dealing-with-anxiety-cf44f189c3ae