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To All the Empaths Who Been Strug-ga-LING:

And the people who care about them

By The Dani WriterPublished about a month ago 5 min read
Photo by The Lazy Artist Gallery on Pexels

Words are hard when feelings overwhelm.

Other People: But they’re just feelings.

Empaths: Oh, you poor deluded souls.

It’s been a long indescribable journey.

Am I ready to talk?

I’m not even sure.

Ditch the dictionary definition. An empath doesn’t have concentrated feelings. They ARE concentrated feelings.

When someone is having a meltdown, We're the one they want—the emotionally-available-sensitive-intuitive soul who is an ironclad anchor in rough seas.

A heart. A hand.

An ear. A shoulder.

Except…

It’s not limited to one person. I could not stop with only you if I tried. Compassion fatigue is an engineered illusory foreign concept.

Photo by Marcus Winkler on Pexels

How can I get tired of caring about people in need?

Never happens.

It’s…caaaring. I’d need to be a robot.

Somewhere along the way, I breathe. Replenish. Close eyes. Make a difference. No matter how small. A repetitive loop. Can’t look away. Even with hard things. It’s an irreversible, unstoppable biochemical process.

It’s no big leap for me to understand how lonely it must be to have life pulled out from under you…mind reeling…lungs gasping…spirit ripping but no one even deigns to pay you any mind for long because it’s too trauma-laden, too overwhelming. Or they experience helplessness that may retroactively reflect as self-judgment and shame.

Why can’t I do something to make it better?

Empaths are a 24/7, 365(6) non-unionized presence across the planet who didn’t choose this as a career path. It remains an essential part of who we are. Of course, we don’t have an organizational administrative infrastructure. Undoubtedly, there aren’t policies and procedures or legislation.

And not to throw shade, but how well has that been working for humanity thus far?

By Mika Baumeister on Unsplash

I am not the only empath who doesn’t voice my support requirements.

Sure, understanding and patience would be welcome, but it cannot be demanded. At least, I’m not wired that way.

As with many things, there’s a spectrum.

I’m moderately high-functioning and not in any way fragile (partially evidenced by the fact that I have survived and thrived to adulthood without being medicated or institutionalized.) Numerous others on the spectrum are equally hardy.

But recent global suffering and catastrophes have reached record highs.

By Tengyart on Unsplash

In the space of neither here nor there is that incessant pounding of my autonomic nervous system to take figurative breathing space. It’s most difficult when it is people who are decidedly cruel.

Perhaps it was some time ago that recognition of my own dire straits became evident...

...As I put on my shoes, with Al Jazeera News broadcasting on television, I glimpsed enough to make me freeze. When I returned to awareness, I was

already five minutes late for work (I’m never late) and river-flooded cheeks had to be contained before I got in the car. All in all, I might have seen eight minutes of the program.

Other People: Stop watching the news!

Me: Ohhh!!! So, you think cutting the news supply means empaths won’t feel nuthin’??? (Not to mention, it’s not JUST the news…there is a social life scene with stuff happening too. Should I become a recluse?)

My empathic spectrum trait is often experiencing sensations before, during, and after events, hence the need for gargantuan chunks of downtime. I’m grateful that (in my case) this characteristic is not a permanent state. I'm pretty sure I’d implode.

And before anyone can say PG “Poppycock,” consider this against the scientific backdrop that humans have more than five senses.

By William Krause on Unsplash

Yup.

Feel free to catch up.

I gladly entertain the probability that many non-empathic earth inhabitants are equally disgusted at the insatiable greed and indifference of various world leaders and organizations, etc., etc., with money and power seeking more money and more power at the expense of the environment as well as the endangerment and extinction of animal/plant species. That they are justifiably aggrieved at the unresolved plight of the Palestinians, Yemenis, Haitians, Rohingya, Melanesians, Sudanese and so many others suffering, often in silent obscurity.

I got waaaay more than tears.

Empaths all soft fuzzy feelings my ass!

There’s this targeted stealth-seeking righteous rage part of me that itches to lay waste to injustice’s perpetrators in the most inconvenient and embarrassing way possible (sans saying a word) to make a substantive point.

Like, I would totally (and secretly) airlift all the women and girls out of Afghanistan to a luxurious secret oasis where they could enjoy every human right and privilege they’ve ever been denied. Let the Taliban stew in the reality of having no one to boss over and degrade.

It’s said that misery loves company. I wonder if, without it, misery would turn to self-degradation and wither away.

By Rahul Pabolu on Unsplash

I wanna level playing fields. Flip the board. Switch the script. Reverse polarity.

Not fight fair.

All the thoughts I keep inside while 100% brutes on the news in some country talk about exacting revenge by raping the sister or daughter of an enemy as an accepted societal retribution norm.

There isn’t a nice and neat plethora of coping methods to be left here. I only share what practices I have embraced to remain flower-soft in an ofttimes concrete hard world.

Ancient texts have pervasive truths. Daily reflection on them is a framework that maintains your emotional integrity even when feeling in a state of collapse.

I’m talking The Secret Book of James from the Nag Hammadi Codex where Jesus said, “If you consider how long the world existed before you and how long it will exist after you, you’ll find that your life is a single day and your suffering a single hour.”

And the Tao Te Ching “Nothing in the world is as soft and yielding as water. Yet for dissolving the hard and inflexible nothing can surpass it. The soft overcomes the hard; the gentle overcomes the rigid.”

By Дмитрий Хрусталев-Григорьев on Unsplash

For me, these books are always within reach. For balance. For remembrance.

Seek that part of the human spirit that refuses to cower to injustice so that you do not lose yourself. It's soft but strong.

Stay the course, but please don't try to do it alone.

And rest.

Recharge.

Do what you can but don’t give all you have.

You need to be here...stay here.

You need to be alright.

You, fellow empath, need to know how invaluable you are in this existence to shift polarities and create an unstoppable ripple in history's timeline.

Stay soft where it counts.

Photo by Diego Madrigal on Pexels

I truly appreciate that you took the time to read my story. Kindest of thanks!

Your support helps to fuel my passion for writing. You are welcome to heart/comment/subscribe/tip/give shout-outs/share on social media with author credit, and/or ko-fi me if you'd like because it truly warms my heart.

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About the Creator

The Dani Writer

Explores words to create worlds with poetry, nonfiction, and fiction. Writes content that permeates then revises and edits the heck out of it. Interests: Freelance, consultations, networking, rulebook-ripping. UK-based

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Comments (8)

  • Andrea Corwin about a month ago

    WOW! We think alike and hurt. I listen to news so I know what is going on and am aware - we need to be aware: of sociopaths, of wrong doing, of injustices of cruelty to people and animals. It is very depressing sometimes. This is a great piece. I shared the Al Jazeera piece on Threads and Twitter. I loved the two spiritual texts you mentioned. There is just so much ignorance and selfishness and my many years on this planet has never seen it as bad as now. I visualize you surrounded in white light as you go through your days.⚪️ 💟

  • Babs Iversonabout a month ago

    Informative and insightful you covered a lot of truths. The pain and suffering in the world because of power and greed is overwhelming. When overwhelmed, I pray. 🙏

  • Novel Allenabout a month ago

    Empathy has to be taken in small doses, it will overwhelm and drain the body and soul. I learned to step back very often. I did stop listening to the news (mostly). I just do what little I can when i can. Too much pain and agony all around, I do not wish to absorb more than I can carry or bear.

  • Dharrsheena Raja Segarranabout a month ago

    I'm an empath but sometimes I feel it's a curse more than a blessing. I just feel things so intensely and it just becomes too much for me to handle especially when it's because of things that I can't control like the bad things that are going on in the world.

  • angela hepworthabout a month ago

    Ugh man, my heart goes out. I’m not an empath—not to say I don’t have empathy at all, of course I very much do 😂 I just don’t think my emotions are as sensitive and overwhelming as those of actual empaths. I can only imagine how hard it must be to function with all this madness and hurt and pain going on in the world right now, the feeling of helplessness is something truly universal.

  • angela hepworthabout a month ago

    Ugh man, my heart goes out. I’m not an empath—not to say I don’t have empathy at all, of course I very much do 😂 I just don’t think my emotions are as sensitive and overwhelming as those of actual empaths. I can only imagine how hard it must be to function with all this madness and hurt and pain going on in the world right now, the feeling of helplessness is something truly universal.

  • Kayleigh Fraser ✨about a month ago

    I tunes out of the news a long time ago for this reason… it helps no one for me to consistently lower my vibration. The only way I can truly help people, is by being the person infecting their emotions - instead of allowing them to infect me… I could deeply feel and cry all day for the tragedy of the world, and have on many days! But then I kind of just see…. Nothing is better for it. But when I am in high spirits, and overflowing with joy… I affect so many others… in positive ways. I suggest this world in held in a matrix of low vibrational fear. The news is the greatest tool for that vibration to be kept low. And the only way to break out of it, is to choose to be deliberately at peace / in joy. Otherwise we remain part of the problem… and not the solution…. I also get that this is a huge topic and there is no one solution, this is meant more generally. Very little is changed through mass outage. A lot (everything?!) is transformed through high vibration, love and belief…. Hence working for the latter must be the logical choice?

  • Vicki Lawana Trusselli about a month ago

    I am a fellow empath. I deal with so many ideas and grief of the chaos in the world. Feel misunderstood. When I do feel better then I run into narcissistic people. I have to breathe in Breathe out slowly

The Dani WriterWritten by The Dani Writer

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