How to avoid losing your nerves in the face of obsessive thoughts?

It has happened to all of us at some point to have an unpleasant thought that, despite the discomfort it causes us, comes to our consciousness again and again automatically, without us having a special interest in thinking about it. Normally, these mental contents are memories about things we did that embarrass us, or things that make us feel guilty, or even events that did not take place, but that we believe can happen to us and get us into serious trouble. And of course, it also happens with actions that we know we must carry out sooner or later and that make us suffer from anxiety.

In the most extreme cases and with the greatest capacity to wear us down psychologically, these thoughts invade our consciousness so frequently and remain in it for so long that they become authentic obsessions: ideas, beliefs and mental images that do not make us think about them at all. much that motivate or excite us, but because of the discomfort they cause us, although it seems contradictory.

These obsessive thoughts ostensibly influence the daily life of those who harbor them and can have a very negative effect on their mental health, not only because they contribute to maintaining levels of anxiety that are too high and/or long-lasting; also for its ability to induce us to interpret anything as a confirmation that what worries us or makes us feel bad is a reality that exists in our present. They predispose us to see "signs" that confirm very pessimistic interpretations of what is happening. So… how to avoid losing your temper in the face of obsessive thoughts?

Characteristics of obsessive thoughts

Obsessive thoughts are those that appear in our mind in an intrusive way, without us wanting it, and that generate a high degree of discomfort in the face of the possibility that they are true or that they correspond to who we are and what our defects and limitations are.

These thoughts, ideas, opinions and conceptions about life or about our identity are usually of an anguished and pessimistic nature, and although at first we know that it is a wrong thought and that it does not fit reality, it usually generates a high level of anxiety. anxiety in the person who harbors them, as we fall into that spiral of self-confirming pessimistic hypotheses, we lose the rational vision of what is happening and we not only feel that these obsessions are a reflection of reality, we also believe it.

Some people experience these obsessive thoughts almost permanently; Even when they do not keep their attentional focus fixed on thinking about it, these mental contents remain in a latent state and have a great capacity to be “activated” by any stimulus that we minimally associate with that theme. These usually give rise to a vicious circle known as psychological rumination and, as it gets bigger, it is more difficult to face.

Obsessive thoughts are usually based on ideas related to our own health or that of our loved ones, losing our current social or socioeconomic status, or pessimistic predictions and premonitions about the standards of life that await us in the not-so-distant future.

Some of these obsessive thoughts may be: “I am going to fail the entrance exam”, “I am useless and nothing goes right for me”, “What if I hurt my family or my children?”, “My partner to leave” or “everyone hates me”.

All these obsessive thoughts of a negative nature generate deep discomfort and interfere directly in the daily life of the person : in their normal functioning both in the personal and in the social, family or work spheres and also in their mental health in the medium and long term, and even facilitate the appearance of disorders such as addictions.

That is why it is so important to overcome these types of obsessive thoughts with the help of a professional psychologist.

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What is a ruminant thought?

When an obsessive thought is repeated several times in a person's mind, it produces a dynamic known as psychological rumination; the person begins to constantly dwell on the same negative idea, which ends up generating greater discomfort, anxiety and suffering.

The thoughts that are involved in rumination appear in an intrusive and disruptive way in the mind of the affected person, they also generate great concern and discomfort, and the most important thing is that they are repeated recurrently without us being able to do anything to stop them immediately. nor get them out of our heads at that moment as most people would like in such a situation.

Psychological rumination owes its name precisely to the fact that it is repeated over and over again in consciousness , to the point where the affected person begins to anticipate such negative thoughts and attract them to their consciousness without realizing it. That is, involuntarily, we actively participate in rumination bringing obsessive thoughts to our minds. The person unconsciously contributes to the fact that these contents continue to invade their minds in the form of a vicious circle: they are given more importance than they have simply because we cannot stop thinking about them and that frustration makes us "get defensive" and to be alert.

The mere attempt to block obsessive thoughts will make them return to us with more force, since we are increasingly predisposed unconsciously to be flooded by the thought in question in the face of any stimulus or memory indirectly related to what worries us.

Tips for not losing your temper in the face of obsessive thoughts

Luckily, there are some strategies we can follow to prevent these thoughts from controlling us and causing us unnecessary anxiety and suffering.

1. Do not try to block or avoid them

One of the first tips is, as we have seen, not to try to block or avoid them, since this will only make them appear with greater intensity and frequency .

To prevent obsessive thoughts from causing us to fall into a spiral of anxiety, stress and discomfort, we must begin to conceive the idea that these thoughts are ours, we must accept that they are there because we have created them and that we must fight against them and obsess to disappearing will be useless.

2. Refocus our attention

Once its nature is accepted, we must begin to apply strategies that allow us to guide and channel our attention towards ideas and experiences that generate interest, make us feel good about ourselves and allow us to focus on aspects of life that are more uplifting and meaningful to us. .

By shifting all our attention and thought towards more positive ideas, projects and conceptions about the world around us, we will be able to achieve genuine motivation for what interests us and makes us happy ; in short, in things in which we can progress and get excited. And based on the fact that these activities excite us and tell us about who we are and what we want, we will develop a way of interpreting life that is richer in nuances and less likely to fall into the pessimistic self-confirmation bias that is associated with obsessive thoughts.

Once we have internalized and mechanized this new, more constructive way of thinking, the obsessive thoughts that we harbored will progressively weaken; so to speak, they will lack space to expand by capitalizing on our fears and insecurities.

3. Training in relaxation techniques

Relaxation techniques can also be of great support to us, not so much to overcome obsessive thoughts that cause us discomfort on a daily basis, but to mitigate symptoms related to anxiety .

There are many techniques that we can put into practice to achieve more relaxed and balanced states of consciousness: progressive muscle relaxation, controlled breathing, body scanner, etc.