How Do I Turn A Bad Day Into A Great One?

Question: I have been having a truly crap day. Nothing seems to be going right, no matter how hard I try. I’m feeling really down and angry. How can I change things to feel better?

That can’t feel very good for you, especially when there seems to be no end in sight. But hang in there. The singer, Dolly Parton, once said, “The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.”

She’s actually emphasising the fact that we all have bad days. That’s called life: taking the rough with the smooth and turning those dark times into opportunities for learning and growth. Good and bad days will always be there. The important thing is how we react to those days, whether we make them overwhelm us, or we accept them routinely, dealing with them in a confident way.

Imagine you are Liam Neeson, the famous actor, at a peak in your career, with your latest film grossing a quarter of a billion dollars, and feeling very pleased with your life. Suddenly, your young wife, Natasha Richardson, dies of a head injury in a freak skiing accident in Canada, leaving two young children too. What would you do?

Neeson said he felt like just crumbling at the shock news and the thought of his young sons, but he was all they had now. So he forced himself to focus on them and his work and gradually dealt with the tragedy in a positive way. Five years later he said he still thought of her death in a surreal way. He hadn’t got used to how she died suddenly, but he felt pleased with how he had coped.

We all have different ways of coping with tragedy and bad days, which makes HOW we cope the most important aspect of dealing with such times. Personally, when I am having a bad day, as quickly as possible I remind myself of the following 7 things I’m going to list. By the time I reach the last one, I have no time to feel bad, because I would have restored my equilibrium, and sense of perspective, as well as the trust and faith in myself and my world.

My 7 reminders are:

First, Life is about ups and downs. No one promised us only good things when we were born. Everything that happens to us, even the bad days, develops our resilience, knowledge and competence to deal with whatever happens next. Without adversity, we would be very weak, useless beings. It’s the daily challenges that develop us in the most amazing ways.

Second, EVERYTHING in life is ALWAYS TEMPORARY. Think of when you last had a ‘bad day’. Can you remember what it was about, and does it even matter now? Nothing lasts forever, and everything will quietly work itself out in due course, whether we physically do something about it, or not. It might not be resolved how we imagine it, but there WILL be a resolution because life cannot stand still in limbo. Accepting life as it is and working out solutions to its problems is far better than fighting it, getting nowhere, and feeling even worse. Life will always please itself, whether we like it or not.

Third, My REACTIONS decide how I feel. I can CHOOSE to react to a negative situation negatively, and feel worse, or I can react positively, using it as an advantage instead of a disadvantage and dull its effects. The choice is up to me because, even if I cannot control what someone else does, I have the freedom to react how I choose.

Fourth, I am blessed to be living in the developed world where everything is available. I don’t have to make do without running water, electricity, basic amenities, or worry about where the next meal is coming from. That gives me the power to deal with my situation positively.

Fifth, I have all my faculties, and everything in working order, especially when many people are disabled, impoverished, illiterate, and perhaps feel so emotionally drained, they can’t even feel bad, they just feel resigned and hopeless.

Sixth, I have the capacity to assess my situation, especially why I feel badly, and devise various options to change it. I just need to keep a cool head and not let anger, negativity or victimhood take over and limit my actions.

Seventh, I am actually alive to feel bad, when many people are dead! They have no further opportunities to feel good or bad. For that, I am thankful, because having the breath of life trumps feeling bad any day!

Remember, bad days, and good ones, will always be there. If you’re having a bad day, acknowledge it. Don’t pretend about it. Then immediately start to work out how you can improve it by changing your focus, changing your thoughts, and reminding yourself that this bad day is only temporary.

As Johnny Depp advises,“Breathe. It’s only a bad day, not a bad life.”