So I'm all for it!
My friend has epilepsy, and is the one who started me down the Medical Marijuana road.
Mine is not for a physical condition though, Mine is stricktly mental.
I was diagnosed with PTSD many years back. In all honesty I have always kind of questioned that diagnosis. Because to me, I always came out of everything "Just fine". I knew I had bad anxiety and depression, but that's it.
I have lived that way for about 10 years now, going through these things, I only in the last 6 years understood to be called trauma triggers.
The first of those years I lived in mostly denial that they even existed. In the moment, it felt like I was responding to a situation totally normally, then as the years went on, and I was having the same triggers, and people all responded to me the same (as if I had acted a negative way) I realized I had actually had a really negative reaction, and found myself still currently responding the same way to current triggers.
I realized something isn't right here, maybe in these triggering scenarios I'm actually the problem?
But still I only correlated these to trauma triggers. To me, PTSD was something totally different. When I thought of PTSD I thought of the stories I have heard war veterans tell, and I thought PTSD was only those kinds of extreme cases.
ALL UP UNTIL...
I tried cannabis.
Well let me be clear, I didn't just smoke one day and BOOM I saw my PTSD. No, I had been smoking for a few months before starting to realize. And that is in combination with the fact that I have been doing a lot of inner work/shadow work with myself for a minute as well. I don't think I would have realized it if I wasn't trying to heal.
But yes, very recently I was with my boyfriend one night, he tried to cuddle with me, and I suddenly got very angry. I pushed him away, and he could see I was visibly frustrated with him.
Only I wasn't frustrated with him. In that moment it hit me that I was having a trauma trigger. I remembered a situation, the feelings of that situation rush back to me as if I was back in that moment. And it felt very very real, like my brain was legit talking me into the fact that it was real.
And I have been having a lot of them lately with him, even though I'm genuinely trying to avaoid them. It made me start to really look at myself and question why I'm reacting negatively to such a good situation. Why am I suddenly pushing him away and feeling distant?
Well we are getting closer, like he just gave me a promise ring.
Cannabis use helped bring me the awareness that the trauma triggers I'm having, is me going through PTSD. I'm pushing him away because I feel us getting closer, and the closer we are getting, the more PTSD I seem to experience. But now I have the awareness that I need to stay in control of my mind becuase sometimes I can lose it!
I can see this is legit "It's not you it's me." area here.
But now that I know what is creating the problem, and have been able to dig pretty deep in it, I can have a better understanding/reaction in the future.
If you have PTSD or know someone that does, I would truly try and be open minded about a Medical Marijuana Card, it has helped me with my anxiety and depression too. It really is a great drug for the right people. I can't speak highly enough of it! Hate the munchies though!!
Also, if any of you are interested in a good shadow work book get the one on tick tock! Super affordable, and very worth it, be ready to dig deep!
Thanks for reading!
About the Creator
Tressa Rose
On a serious self-discovering, soul-searching journey. Breaking myself out of a stagnant shell and reaching out for my dream of being a writer. Small steps but this is my start! Please help me by commenting your feedback, I'd be grateful!
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The secret journey to regaining emotional stability
Do you feel that the anxious and avoidant types both seem to be strong and independent, but in fact they are sensitive and fragile. They often fall into emotions because of small things and start to be anxious and avoidant? If anxious and avoidant types want to change these, what they actually need is to compensate for their missing parts and heal their injured parts. In this issue, we will teach the avoidant and anxious types how to cultivate themselves again, making their emotions more stable, more rational in relationships, and at the same time gaining the ability to actively output emotional value. If anxious and avoidant types want to overcome the sensitive and fragile parts of themselves and obtain stable emotions, they need not only cognitive adjustments, but also need to heal the traumatized parts of themselves and compensate for the regretful parts of themselves. For example, the regret of the avoidant type is that they have not been paid serious attention to and have never truly rebelled. Therefore, the avoidant type will not fight for their own needs in many situations, resulting in uncomfortable situations and relationships, and they are always running away and wandering. The trauma of the anxious type is that they are trapped in unstable relationships and have been hurt by the instability in intimate relationships. The slightest fluctuation will make the anxious type feel nervous and anxious. Therefore, anxious and avoidant types are inherently fragile, sensitive, and unstable. In summary, these reasons are that something is missing during the growth stage, or they have suffered some trauma, so if you want to solve these problems, this is the time. Compensate when you need to compensate, heal when you need to heal, exercise when you need to exercise, just treat yourself as a child and raise yourself again. If the avoidant and anxious types re-train themselves, what kind of growth can they gain? First of all, emotions will become more and more stable. For example, you can be aware of your emotions at the first time, avoid emotions from affecting your thoughts and judgments, and learn to regulate your emotions. Secondly, you can truly understand yourself and know your real needs and fears. In the process of re-nurturing yourself, you can clearly understand your needs and fears, that is, you can know why you are attracted to a certain person, why you behave like this, and then you can better understand what you need.
By angelababy2 days ago in Psyche
Comments (1)
I’m glad it’s helping! 🪬