The following piece is a collaboration between the brilliant abnormal minds of myself and my Vocal Bff Heather Hubler. Once again, you can blame JBaz and Dana Crandell for the madness about to follow.
What started out a joke from Jason to Dana to write something uplifting, like rainbows and unicorns, seems to have taken off (at least in Vocal * Voices in Minor (ViM) FB group) into an unofficial challenge that was never meant to be a challenge. If you can make sense of that, the poem should be easy-peasy.
Giving credit to the originators, here is Dana's story:
And now, without further delay, here is Heather and Cathy's:
I took a stroll at midnight, with a friend of mine, so dear.
I didn’t really want to go, but she insisted I needed air.
Not far into the journey, as I stumbled over my feet,
I turned my head to the starry night and saw a sight so sweet.
I swear there was a rainbow hanging in the darkened sky.
My friend just laughed and said I was nuts, or maybe I was too high.
We came across a unicorn, dancing with a duck.
I thought they were the cutest pair, till they told us to go to fuck.
I looked around and spied a chap whose frown was sad and fraught.
I brought him to the wacky pair, they said 'his rear was taut.'
I hadn't noticed, but now I did, and man! was it so fine.
The duck told me to fuck right off for he was first in line.
I stared that quacker in the beak, no way I was backing down.
I wasn't losing that fine-assed man to a duck and his one-horned clown.
I batted my lashes and cleared my throat, but the fine-assed man was smitten.
He looked past the damn duck and the freak-show horse to the fluffiest, sweetest kitten.
Her eyes shone like emeralds, a beauty from head to tail.
Her luscious coat, soft grey and white. Her name was Abigail.
“Don't look at me, you taut-rear chap. I don't want your wiener.
I got my eye on that fine-assed duck, and I’m having him for dinner.”
She flexed her claws and began to purr, “come to me, sweet feathery treat.
That dildo horse and buns-of-steel can bid a hasty retreat.”
She caught her prey and feasted, till her belly was full to the brink.
My Nerdy friend took my arm and said, “let’s get another drink.”
A heartfelt thank you to Heather. It was so much fun working with her on our first ever collab. Especially since, it started as a silly chat between friends that was totally unrelated to writing a Vocal piece together. You never know when you're going to get inspired. Check out my brilliant friend's profile below.
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