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Rainbows and Unicorns and Ducks, Oh my! Wait. Am I High?

Blame JBaz and Dana C. (A Collaboration with Heather Hubler)

By Cathy holmesPublished 19 days ago 2 min read
23
NightCafeStudio pic by Heather Hubler

The following piece is a collaboration between the brilliant abnormal minds of myself and my Vocal Bff Heather Hubler. Once again, you can blame JBaz and Dana Crandell for the madness about to follow.

What started out a joke from Jason to Dana to write something uplifting, like rainbows and unicorns, seems to have taken off (at least in Vocal * Voices in Minor (ViM) FB group) into an unofficial challenge that was never meant to be a challenge. If you can make sense of that, the poem should be easy-peasy.

Giving credit to the originators, here is Dana's story:

And JBaz's

And now, without further delay, here is Heather and Cathy's:

--

I took a stroll at midnight, with a friend of mine, so dear.

I didn’t really want to go, but she insisted I needed air.

Not far into the journey, as I stumbled over my feet,

I turned my head to the starry night and saw a sight so sweet.

*

I swear there was a rainbow hanging in the darkened sky.

My friend just laughed and said I was nuts, or maybe I was too high.

We came across a unicorn, dancing with a duck.

I thought they were the cutest pair, till they told us to go to fuck.

*

I looked around and spied a chap whose frown was sad and fraught.

I brought him to the wacky pair, they said 'his rear was taut.'

I hadn't noticed, but now I did, and man! was it so fine.

The duck told me to fuck right off for he was first in line.

*

I stared that quacker in the beak, no way I was backing down.

I wasn't losing that fine-assed man to a duck and his one-horned clown.

I batted my lashes and cleared my throat, but the fine-assed man was smitten.

He looked past the damn duck and the freak-show horse to the fluffiest, sweetest kitten.

*

Her eyes shone like emeralds, a beauty from head to tail.

Her luscious coat, soft grey and white. Her name was Abigail.

“Don't look at me, you taut-rear chap. I don't want your wiener.

I got my eye on that fine-assed duck, and I’m having him for dinner.”

*

She flexed her claws and began to purr, “come to me, sweet feathery treat.

That dildo horse and buns-of-steel can bid a hasty retreat.”

She caught her prey and feasted, till her belly was full to the brink.

My Nerdy friend took my arm and said, “let’s get another drink.”

--

A heartfelt thank you to Heather. It was so much fun working with her on our first ever collab. Especially since, it started as a silly chat between friends that was totally unrelated to writing a Vocal piece together. You never know when you're going to get inspired. Check out my brilliant friend's profile below.

performance poetryhumorFor Fun
23

About the Creator

Cathy holmes

Canadian family girl with a recently discovered love for writing. Other loves include animals and sports.

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Comments (22)

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  • Denise E Lindquist14 days ago

    Fun, fun!!😂🤣

  • Phil Flannery16 days ago

    Trippy

  • sleepy drafts17 days ago

    Omg, I was laughing so hard at this!! You two are a riot. This was so awesome.

  • You two are too funny.

  • Hannah Moore18 days ago

    I'm going with yes, you're high.

  • L.C. Schäfer18 days ago

    Don't know what I expected, but it wasn't that! I was doing mini chortles up to "dildo horse" and then I lost it 😂😂😂

  • This is an absolute hoot! What a fun poem

  • Grz Colm19 days ago

    Great and magical work guys!!! 🤪☺️👏

  • Thavien Yliaster19 days ago

    Hey, You two stop writing poetry about my hotness taughtness. At least take me out to dinner first.

  • One horned clown! Freak show horse! Dildo horse! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I freaking loved this hilarious love-triangle poem! Or shall I say love-parallelogram? No I think it's more of a love-hexagon! Hahahahahahahahahaha 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Well done Nitty and The Nerd!!

  • Absolutely hilarious. You two did a great job, and it flows very seamlessly for a collab (which always astonishes me when people can pull that off). The twist about the cat caught me totally off guard and made me laugh. I agree with the nerdy friend, it would be time for another drink after all that.

  • A bawdy, hilarious piece of brilliance. I loved it through & through.

  • Tiffany Gordon 19 days ago

    So amusing!! Great job you two! 😊

  • Mother Combs19 days ago

    Thank you for the mention of the group <3 In your hilariously written poem. I love the shenanigans you and Heather got up too together.

  • Babs Iverson19 days ago

    ROTFL!!! Hilariously written!!! 💕♥️♥️ Bravo to both of you & Abigail too!!!

  • Excellent words both

  • Dana Crandell19 days ago

    Suddenly, my take on the theme seems rather tame. Not that I'd expect any less from the minds of you two. Well done, y'all!

  • KJ Aartila19 days ago

    OMG! You two .... LOL!

  • Lamar Wiggins19 days ago

    😂😂😂 So much to love about this! Let’s start with “that dildo horse” Priceless!!! Thank you two for the laughs!

  • Heather Hubler19 days ago

    We're insane. I love how organic this came about :) You always bring a smile to my face and cheer me up. Love you, Nitty!! Thank you for putting it together and for the kind words at the end.

  • JBaz19 days ago

    And you dragged Heather into this …lol Great collaboration

  • JBaz19 days ago

    ‘He looked past the damn duck and the freak-show horse to the fluffiest, sweetest kitten.’ Oh where do you go from here?….a duck and a unicorn and now a kitten. You know no boundaries my friend and I love it. This non challenge challenge is turning out to be fun. And you have taken it in a whole new direction.

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