My Shiny Unicorn

I met a shiny unicorn who fell out of my ass.

I didn’t mean for it to happen, thought it was just gas.

So now I’ve got this creature, who stinks from head to toe,

And has forced me on a journey to the end of a rainbow.

*

His nose is bright and twinkly, his smile lights up my day.

His fur is soft as feathers, from the comfiest duvet.

His horn, it sparkles with gold dust, his eyes could cast a spell.

I think that I could love him if I could just get past the smell.

*

His voice is mostly child-like, quite often soft, and sweet,

But when the rain does fall at night, he howls like a cat in heat.

I stuff a pillow over my head to drown the horrendous sound.

I’d shove his horn right up his butt if I could get him turned around.

*

So, weeks into our journey to the end of the rainbow,

My legs are aching, my back is killing me, and I can’t feel my toes.

Along he trots beside me, all charm and full of grace.

If I had the strength, I’d smack the smile right off his sparkly face.

*

Eureka! There I see it. Is that a pot of gold?

Have we reached our destination? Dare I wish so bold?

It seems our journey’s over. No more together we’ll roam.

The rainbow glows with outstretched arms to call my unicorn home.

*

He turns and looks toward me, then bows on bended knee.

His ways of showing endearing friendship and gratitude to me.

I don’t know why I’m feeling sad, as my eyes they start to swell.

I think I’ll miss my sparkly friend, but I sure won’t miss the smell.

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All I can say is I'm sorry, and that you can blame JBaz and Dana C. for this mess.