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My Shiny Unicorn

He kinda stinks (Blame Dana and JBaz for this)

By Cathy holmesPublished 21 days ago 1 min read
Top Story - February 2024
44
Created on Dall E

I met a shiny unicorn who fell out of my ass.

I didn’t mean for it to happen, thought it was just gas.

So now I’ve got this creature, who stinks from head to toe,

And has forced me on a journey to the end of a rainbow.

*

His nose is bright and twinkly, his smile lights up my day.

His fur is soft as feathers, from the comfiest duvet.

His horn, it sparkles with gold dust, his eyes could cast a spell.

I think that I could love him if I could just get past the smell.

*

His voice is mostly child-like, quite often soft, and sweet,

But when the rain does fall at night, he howls like a cat in heat.

I stuff a pillow over my head to drown the horrendous sound.

I’d shove his horn right up his butt if I could get him turned around.

*

So, weeks into our journey to the end of the rainbow,

My legs are aching, my back is killing me, and I can’t feel my toes.

Along he trots beside me, all charm and full of grace.

If I had the strength, I’d smack the smile right off his sparkly face.

*

Eureka! There I see it. Is that a pot of gold?

Have we reached our destination? Dare I wish so bold?

It seems our journey’s over. No more together we’ll roam.

The rainbow glows with outstretched arms to call my unicorn home.

*

He turns and looks toward me, then bows on bended knee.

His ways of showing endearing friendship and gratitude to me.

I don’t know why I’m feeling sad, as my eyes they start to swell.

I think I’ll miss my sparkly friend, but I sure won’t miss the smell.

------

All I can say is I'm sorry, and that you can blame JBaz and Dana C. for this mess.

performance poetryhumorFor Fun
44

About the Creator

Cathy holmes

Canadian family girl with a recently discovered love for writing. Other loves include animals and sports.

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  2. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

  3. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  1. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  2. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

  3. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

Add your insights

Comments (47)

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  • Novel Allen11 days ago

    It sure is a different take on things. I dont call them unicorns though, popping out of there. congrats

  • Hehehe ... BEST! Congratulations on Top Story and 1st Place! Well deserved recognition!

  • JBaz14 days ago

    1st Place . yeah! congratulations

  • 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣Thank you JBaz and Dana C.😂😂

  • Ashley Shiflett16 days ago

    ❤️ Simply amazing!

  • Naveed 16 days ago

    Remarkable job! Maintain the fantastic work—congrats!

  • Karen Cave17 days ago

    Really made me giggle!

  • Sara Wilson17 days ago

    It's giving twisted child book 😂 lol

  • Don't apologize everybody needs a bit of messy humour from time to time

  • Amazing write up and keep up the good work.

  • Anna 19 days ago

    This reminds me of my childhood... like which girl didn't have a unicorn era?😆

  • Annetta Brown19 days ago

    Oh my goodness, I absolutely loved this. great job very inventive.

  • Caroline Jane19 days ago

    🤣🤣🤣 you should write a kids poetry book. My son will love this!

  • Grz Colm19 days ago

    ☺️👏 …I mean, gross! 😆

  • Thavien Yliaster19 days ago

    If the unicorn plopped out of there I'm scared to know what other secrets lie there as well. I don't know why, but a unicorn falling out of somebody's butt sounds like somebody purposefully ate glitter in the desperate attempt to jot dealing with the mess of glitter everywhere, everywhen.

  • What a hilarious take! But I have so many questions, primarily…did it hurt when the unicorn came out of your a**? 🤣🤣🤣

  • Donna Fox (HKB)20 days ago

    Hahaha!! This was brilliant Cathy!! I love your take on this "challenge"!!

  • Looks like your smelly, sparkly friend gifted you a Top Story! Congratulations! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊

  • L.C. Schäfer20 days ago

    This had me hooked from the first line. Reminds me of Roger McGough!

  • Gerald Holmes20 days ago

    Now, that is some funny shit! Loved it! Congrats

  • Carol Townend20 days ago

    This is entirely hilarious, Cathy. My sides are splitting. A very funny and well-written poem.

  • Rachel Deeming20 days ago

    Hysterical! Any other mystical creatures come out of your ass? Sorry. Too personal.

  • Kinda reminded me of Shel Silverstein ! Very funny and clever . Congratulations on top story 👏

  • No doubt I would see you here today, congrats!!

  • JBaz20 days ago

    This had no place to go but Top Story. I’m still laughing, and you had my wife choking with laughter. CONGRATULATION

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