Dealing with change

Striving for Change

For many individuals, there exists a disparity between their current self and their desired self. They may have small tasks they feel they should accomplish and larger goals they should strive for, such as regular exercise, a nutritious diet, acquiring a new skill, pursuing their writing endeavors, reading more, or simply engaging in their favorite pastime.

Sometimes it feels like you have to change who you are to reach your goals. You need consistency, effort, discipline, and willpower. You may have tried your best to be like that, and it worked temporarily. But then you fell back into your old habits. Ultimately, you always seem to fail, and each failure adds to the frustration.

Achieving success and working hard can be frustrating and make you feel annoyed at yourself. The internet often tells us that if we fail, it's because we didn't want it enough and it's our own fault. But change is difficult and understanding why can make it easier.

The Brain as a Jungle: Creating Pathways and Habits

Think of your brain like a thick and dense jungle. Moving through a jungle is difficult and requires energy. Your brain dislikes using energy, so it created a trick. Your actions and behaviors create paths in your brain. When you start doing something, you create rough trails by trampling down plants and improvising.

Doing something repeatedly creates a trail in the undergrowth. With each repetition, the trail becomes more defined and easier to navigate. Eventually, the trail turns into a path, then a street, and finally a highway. Over time, the act becomes effortless and comfortable for your brain.

The more we use highways, the more comfortable we become with them. As a result, we continue to use them and stick to our old habits. This makes it difficult for us to embrace change, especially as adults who have established routines and habits. To understand how these habits are formed, we need to differentiate between two things: routines and habits.

A routine is a series of actions that we consistently perform in the same manner because they have been successful for us. You perform certain actions in a specific order because you enjoy the taste of the outcome. Setting an alarm for a specific time ensures you wake up when desired.

Routines can become habits, which feel easier because they are a sequence of actions done without thinking. Habits feel rewarding and automatic because they have been done so often. You don't have to convince yourself to do a habit - you just do it.

Triggers and Bad Habits: Understanding the Cycle

Habits are initiated by triggers, which are cues that can be specific objects or entire scenarios, that signal your brain to start a behavior or action. Your life is already filled with numerous triggers, such as unlocking your phone when you see it.

Your bad habits often start with a rewarding feeling. Chocolate tastes good, browsing fb can be entertaining. This is why you continue these actions, even if they are harmful. The rewarding feelings associated with an action create a desire to repeat it, leading to the formation of a bad habit.

Dealing with complex mental challenges can be difficult. However, we can use energy-saving mechanisms to make it easier to introduce new behaviors into our lives. Instead of focusing on big things, we should focus on small improvements. Making small changes is better than aiming high and not changing anything.

The Power of Small Changes and Enjoyable Habits

Small changes can have a big impact over time. To make change easier, it may be more effective to convince your brain that it's not a big deal rather than relying solely on willpower. This can be done by creating new routines and turning them into habits. For example, if your goal is to be fitter, start by having a plan and then gradually incorporate exercise into your daily routine.

To make a goal easier to achieve, it's important to separate it into clear actions. These actions should be small and specific. You can establish a home workout habit by choosing a specific time and place to start. For example, you can do ten squats in your living room at 8am, always wearing your exercise gear. By repeating this regularly, ideally every day, it will eventually become a habit. The trigger and action will become automatic and the routine will become a habit.

Doing squats may require energy, but they can feel less like a chore and more like a routine. Turning something into a habit isn't always simple or easy. Many desired habits don't provide instant gratification like wasting time on reddit. To increase the likelihood of developing a new habit, try to make it enjoyable and easy to repeat.

The Journey of Change: Consistency and Practice

You can make the action or behavior itself more enjoyable, rather than rewarding yourself afterwards. For example, only listen to your favorite podcast while working out or do your taxes while waiting for something to load. Find what works for you. In principle, that's all there is to it. It's frustratingly simple, like most things you can do to improve your life.

The hard part is continuing to do it every day. However, it does get easier with practice. Change doesn't happen overnight and there are no shortcuts. The science of habits shows that anyone, regardless of age, can make changes. Even if you only make small improvements or try a few new things, that's still a success.